Can my husband just take my daughter from me if we get divorced based on his financial advantage over me?

Question

My husband and I are happy and have a 2yr old. I also have two more girls from my first marriage. While having a hypothetical conversation my husband revealed to me that if we were to divorce he would fight for full custody of our 2yr old. Which totally shocked me and not to mention deeply hurt my feelings.
For one we have no real issues, beyond the regular couple fights.
Second ever since we met he always said he admired me for being such a dedicated mother to my two girls. I don't drink, do drugs, go on clubbing sprees, neglect my kids, or abuse them in any way... I came from a very dysfunctional home and have made it my purpose in life to be the parent I always wished my parents had tried to be... Is there anything I can do to protect myself from this? His only argument was that she would be more stable with him financially...

Answer 1

Under the Children's Act two of the many areas that are investigated are education and religion. Please stop worrying I can assure you money is way down the list for Family court judges.....Your husband has a lot to learn and probably the hard way......A stable home is more than just money.....a child needs food,shelter, a loving environment, they also have emotional needs and educational ones too......you have two children that are with you from a previous relationship and it appears that all are happy and thriving. Looking at this logically i suppose any father would state the same that they would fight for the child if he said he would not what would your thought have been then....that he didn't care.....I think what is more important is to forget this conversation otherwise it might just eat away at your relationship but be assured in the knowledge that as long as what you state is the case you would have nothing to worry about and he would definitely have a run for his money............

Answer 2

Are you sure your marriage isn't in trouble, you ended your story by saying"His only argument was that shes would be more stable with him financially. Your husband has it in his mind that if you do divorce he's taking everything, he has it planned out, you need to go to school or something to get a better job, because your husband is not playing, those words come from a place of knowing what it is he's going to do so if you haven't gotten your ducks in a row, nows the time to get your life in order.
It's the twenty first century don't fall into oh I have to stay home with the kids, and I'll let the huband go to work, then when your hit with the big D word your life falls apart, don't set yourself up, your children won't break, get a job start a small business look out for yourself, cause believe me it looks like your husband has his ducks line up straight, don't get caught sleeping.

Answer 3

Courts do not care how much money you make when determining custody. They base it on what they feel is in the best interest of the child. Worst case scenerio is that you would share 50/50 custody and since he is the bread winner he would pay you support. There is nothing you can do to protect yourself or your child that you are not already doing. Just continue to be a good mother and be happy in your marriage. Maybe he made that statement because he loves your daughter so much and he can't bear the thought of not raising her himself. All the more reason to make a marriage work.

Answer 4

No he can not, your duty is to your three children, finances are not an advantage to him, he has taken on you and is responsible for you, his wage is your income and therefore his advantage is your advantage, he will have to pay you and keep you in a the style you have become accustomed, your two year old daughter should be starting some sort of pre school soon so a court would be reluctant to move a child away from were he or she is happy and seldom do courts take children away from a loving parent because of money, talk to a professional you should get a free half hour and have him advise you.

Answer 5

most of the time the kids are placed with the mother unless the mother is a drug user or child abuse has been reported. but if he is more financially stable than you are that is ok cause if you are stable then you will get rewarded custody you tell him since he is well off then he will have to pay alimony and child support! thats the bottom line.
why do guys bring divorce up? myhusband did this and it pisses me off cause our marriage is like yours normal with disagrements everynow and then and i was blunt i told him ill take him for everything he has and he said well i guess im not leaving, i asked him how can he even think of divorce cause i dont i was happy! yes was!
tell your husband to watch divorce court so he can get an insight
ask your husband why he would want to take your kids from you? theyneed both parents but the mother is in favor of custody!!!

Answer 6

I would be shocked and hurt if my husband said that to me. But you don't need to worry. If and by the sounds of it a big IF you two ever divorced then the courts would decide who the child would be happier with. I had this problem when my parents divorced and for me, my sister and my brother we went to our dad. But its not down to money at the end of the day it would be the parent who can be there more for the child. But you both sound happy and love each other and the kids. If it carry's on hurting then tell him OK.

Answer 7

Money isn't the important thing. The mother will always have the advantage as long as she has a safe place to live and doesn't take drugs/have a violent partner or any other lifestyle that could lead to her child being harmed. Also judges would usually take a child's wishes into account, and its usually the mother who spends most time with the child and knows them inside out, what food they like, their favourite bedtime story, what makes them scared....
Don't worry, especially as it sounds like it was just a throwaway remark, if you don't split up it has no relevance to you anyway.

Answer 8

You'd get custody, especially if you were in a stable job and could support her and your other children fine. If you dont have a job then you'd say ur looking to find work, as social services want people who can support kids on their own, not 'scroungers of the system'.

you'd think they'd want parents at home looking after the kids, but if you can prove your gonna hold down a job and the kids will be cared for anyway (family, the father if he can) then they'll love you.

Answer 9

the mother will always get the children unless the child is at risk of harm or neglect. however, and this is happening to my sister at the moment. in the event of a split if he happens to have the children, for example,via amicable arrangements between yourselves ie, he has them for a weekend and no court order is in place he can refuse to hand them over and you would need to go through the courts to get them back. its basically who ever has the kids in their care and who applies for residency first. I'm not going to go into detail on here, but that's basically the situation at the moment with my sis, and believe me its not a nice one to be in. so if you decide to leave your marriage make sure you have the kids first, with residency otherwise its a lengthy process to get them back. the courts would also wonder how your child would be cared for while your husband earned this money, financial security doesn't automatically guarantee emotional stability for a child.

shame on your bloke for saying that, and besides, the courts would never separate a child from its siblings.

Answer 10

Just because his finances are better than yours does not mean that he will get custody. In most cases to get custody form the mother, he would have to prove neglect or abuse, and according to what you said, there is no way of that. I would not worry, Judges do not take children form the mother unless there are some extenuating circumstances