me and my husband split up. while not leaving together we still (approx 2months) we still saw each other n went out to eat. the reason y we split was because i left his house where we were living with his parents which i could not stand at all.
however he never told me anything about talking to other girls n stuff, n i had heard rumors n he denied it. we wanted to work things out as soon as he saved enough money to get his own place. im pregnant n that was the plan to be living 2gether after the baby was born but we kept arguing to much that at times we gave up we even went to file for divorce but at the end we just walked out of the office.
well i found out he was with another girl one night when he told me he was with a friend (guy) i saw pics of them kissing. should this be consider cheating, if so should i forgive him? i dont think i can trust him but i dont want my baby to grow up without a daddy esp. if theres hope he can change but im sooo confused
2007-10-18 12:22:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all- you two are separated and almost divorcing. You moved out of your living arrangement with your husband. You left him. Once you do that- you open a whole of worms that you probably didn't want to deal with.
But what done is done. And it looks like your Husband by name only- has been playing the field and lying to you about it. Seriously- can you honestly get back together with someone who is lying to you? Do you think you will be able to trust him once the baby is born? Will he think he has a free pass because you will always forgive him?? Shouldn't he have been focused on making more money to get his stuff together and not dating other women??
You say yourself you can't trust him- it's obvious he is not responsible - how can he support you and a baby when he can't even support himself (and move out of his parents house??).
My vote is for divorce. You don't have be married to the mother of your child to be a father. And you and your baby deserve a fresh start.
Stay Strong and Good Luck.
2007-10-18 12:56:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it was cheating or not......
If you were "technically" split - and all he did was kiss a gal - yes it was not in the best interest of patching things up w/ you, but its in a gray area as to cheating.
A more important question - is can you (and him) move past this and get your relationship back on track ?
If you're looking for a reason to call him a cheater and leave him because of it - well then I guess you have your ammo. If you want to move past it and work on each other as a couple, I wouldn't think much of it.
Now - if you found out he SLEPT with this gal - then I would consider it a BIG mistep and hard to get past. But still - I don't know if its cheating when you're estranged. Especially if you two didn't specifically spell out that you would NOT see other people. After all YOU were the one that moved out - even if it was because of HIS parents......
You're still the one that left !
He was probably very confused about his feelings, was spilling to this other gal and something just "happened".
Its your decission as to what to call it - or if its a deal breaker for you..... but given the circumstances, I'd have a hard time not defending him.
2007-10-18 12:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by aa889d 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes that was cheating... but so what, it is in the past now.
You are making a=too big of a deal about this. You need to focus on the needs of the child now. The fact is children thrive with happy, loving parents. So forgive him.
If you cannot forgive him, then you should not be married anyway. For the rest of you out there, do NOT marry until you are skilled at the art of forgiveness.
Good luck.
2007-10-18 12:29:32 · answer #3 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he kissed her, but didn't sleep with her maybe you can forgive him. However, he lied! I'd think that trust would be a bigger issue in your marriage. If he lied about that, what else has he lied about?
Oh and by the way, if you wait around for him to change, all you're gonna get is old!
2007-10-18 12:39:22 · answer #4 · answered by Elt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband kissed another woman on boxing day but he told me that same night and i forgave him after a while. if he didnt sleep with the girl then yes give him another chance as i was just one stupid kiss. tell him you don't want him to do it again or it will be over for good. im glad im still with my husband and i don't regret giving him another chance. but its up 2 you no one else . do you think you can forgive him and not throw it in his face when you argue? if it was you who kissed someone else would you want another chance?
2007-10-18 12:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by ♫ღ♥Samantha B™ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Raise your baby equally but dont be together! I dont think it's cheating but he would have hung on for you if he wanted you! He is damaged goods now! If he is any respectful man he will still be a dad! And which weirdo was taking photos???
2007-10-18 12:50:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm no longer asserting you souldnt forgive her I say all of us merits a 2d possibility atleast as quickly as, i might basically say do no longer bounce returned into it so immediately via fact i think she probable is genuinely no longer taught in case you forgive her so surely..i'm no longer asserting make her life a residing hell via fact 2 wrongs do no longer make a real besides i might say basically refer to her and surely tell her the form you experience..and exceptionally if she in no way met up with him or did something with him..basically discover ways to forgive her via fact human beings make blunders..i might basically say take some days for your self and basically see the form you experience..and then possibly in some days you adult adult males can communicate with regard to the region and spot what you adult adult males can artwork out via fact surely there's a reon why she puzzled off that way and you may desire to be certain why. i might basically ask her what's it that she is lacking from the dating to make her desire or think of of somebody else and ask her what's he doing to make you experience good approximately herself..there's a reason to each thing and you may desire to get to the basis of it or there is an possibility that it will take place returned..besides I desire you success you sound such as you relatively love her and that i think of it relatively is beautifulll besides God bless and stay solid..goodluck returned!
2016-10-07 04:41:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to a professional marriage councelor or a family advisor, many hospitals and clinics can suggest one, if your both willing to talk than go for it. it doesn't matter if he was talking to someone else, the question is do both of you want to stay together? as far as him changing...well, you cant change what he already is, unless he wants too, and thats hard. try to get outside help though. good luck
2007-10-18 12:42:08 · answer #8 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek out some counseling for yourself and, then have him join you....If you love each other then you can get past this. And yes I would consider that cheating....
You both need to figure out what it is you want for yourselves and your child. And never stay for the child.
2007-10-18 12:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
DUH, of course he was cheating. He lied. If it wasn't cheating he would have told you about it right then. Do you really want to be with someone who is supposed to love only you and then kisses other girls....BTW was it only kissing?
Anyway, he can be a father without being your husband...besides what kind of husband has he been anyway? You need to worry about being a good Mom and forget about him.
2007-10-18 12:34:36 · answer #10 · answered by Amber D 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋