I am a gay guy, but I guess I don't come across that way and girls are constantly staring and flirting with me. Even at my new job over half of the office is women and I was told the other day that a large group of girls were blabbing on about me and how cute I am which makes me feel very uncomfortable... I know this seems like a bizzarre question, but I just turned 30 and it is constantly up in my face all of a sudden. I just don't really think it is an issue being gay and I don't want to talk about being gay or have to explain my relationship. How can I confront this issue easily with girls I meet or feel less intimidated about it at least??? Help? It also makes it worse when people point it out...
2007-10-18 12:13:34 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you've got it, you've got it.
Just tell them you're not interested plain and simple.
2007-10-18 12:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by Meggie Smalls 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just saying that you are gay *and* in a relationship will probably reduce the problems faster than either just saying that you are gay or in a relationship.
A lot of women still hold out hope that they can change a gay man to straight and a lot hold out hope that they can lure a straight man out of his relationship with his current girlfriend. But turning the gay man straight *and* luring him out of his relationship with his boyfriend, in my experience, has seemed a pretty daunting task, and a lot of women give up and settle for faghag or less.
I'm concerned about your mention of feeling intimidated by the interest coming from these women. You might want to explore where that is coming from. Are you uncomfortable around women in general? Would you prefer to not have females in your life at all (aside from where they can't be avoided)? Women don't typically like to be around guys who are sullen, jerkish and closed-off. Your looks can only get you so far if you establish a reputation as an asshole. So there's always that route, if you are truly desperate to get the swooning ladies away.
I'd also recommend that you look into how other guys in your predicament have handled it. A famous example would be John Barrowman. He has a very particular personality, and doesn't seem to be fazed by much of anything. But there are people with smaller personalities who manage to be quite successful with warding off the women (Anderson Cooper, for another famous example).
It might also be in your best interest to recognize the fact that many gay men and straight women share similar views on what is "beautiful." As a result, many gay men tend to embody something close to the ideal of male beauty for both straight women and other gay men. Is it any wonder that you've got people flocking to you from both sides of the fence? Embracing and accepting might do you worlds of good, where resisting has previously failed. Try to learn to love the attention, while mastering the firm, "no, thank you."
2007-10-21 18:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by rachelesse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this is tough. as long as you are secure with yourself then that is good. you say you don't want to HAVE to point it out. i just hate it when people feel they can't be comfortable because of society or whatever else. okay so back to the problem. okay well from a womans stand point, a very opinionated outspoken woman. I would walk up to a group of guys (and I have done this) and sternly told them that I am not a piece of meat for them to drool over. It is rude to gossip about me and that just because they think I look good, that doesn't make me an uneducated hornball that is just waiting to jump in to bed with the next guy that calls me sexy. Now if you said what I just said to a group of women, they would clearly know you are gay which would probably cause them to stop flirting but still gossip about you. So I think you should take that and put it into your own words how you are feeling. I would just confont them though and tell them that you don't like them gawking over you and gossiping. That it is uncomfortable for you and distracting because it is very noticeable and that just because you are a guy doesn't mean they get to lack respect for you. They should show you the same respect you show them. If you are taken, I would incorporate that in too, telling them that it makes you uncomfortable because you are in a relationship and when they flirt like that, it makes you feel like you are flirting with them to get that reaction if that is how you feel. Im just tossing ideas buddy. What it boils down to is women aren't all bloodsucking gossip whores. You can talk to us and some of us will get the picture and being upfront and honest is highly appreciated. Also, showing your true feelings doesn't necessarily mark you as gay if you are trying to avoid that. I hope this helps.
2007-10-18 19:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by shorty03_7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a goil myself, and formerly working with a bunch of goils, I can tell you that you are probably not in any danger of the girls jumping your bones or anything like that. You get a bunch of girls together, throw a cute guy into the mix, and you are going to get alot of giddiness out of the girls. It's just our nature to share the eye candy stories and remarks with each other. I think you are worrying over nothing. It's just girl nonsense.
Now, if a lone girl approaches you and asks you out or lunch, coffee, drinks, and/or etc., then you are being hit on. But the group thing - no problem. Just enjoy the attention.
2007-10-18 19:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by Marilyn A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't realy support these things but I've often
listned to girls complaining that all the good looking ones are guy.....
Just tell them the truth
If you're not out of the closet yet get out or just tell them your not interested in dating now...
2007-10-18 19:19:12 · answer #5 · answered by robert.levis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you see girls looking at you... take it as a compliment and get over it as best you can.
If you hear them TALKING about you, now that's something you might want to address. If it's possible, simply tell whoever's doing it that you heard what they were saying, it makes you uncomfortable and you'd like for them to stop.
If they keep it up, I think you can mention it to your superiors. -shrugs-
2007-10-18 19:19:53 · answer #6 · answered by Fire Falcon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess you should be flattered that girls wants you so much, however i think is best to say your with someone at the moment, and if they ask you about your relationshiop, avoid the question by saying, i dont want to talk about it.
2007-10-18 19:24:06 · answer #7 · answered by Esther T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make it known that you hate dating or are a cheap date.
2007-10-18 23:02:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit being so hot and well-groomed/dressed. Or you could wear a ring so they see that you are taken.
2007-10-18 19:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by PontificalPape 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a straight guy i can say getting overly drunk and then overly grabby are good ways to get a girl to lose interest in you.
2007-10-18 19:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by FengHuaXueYue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋