I'm writing a book about time travel; can anyone help out from time to time?

Question

I absolutely LOVE to write, and I have my ending. I have the characters, I have a rather bleak discription of the time device. I only a senior in high school, so can anyone such as physicists, writers, book nuts or students help criticize and improve my current and future chapters? I have the first statements figured out:
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And out of no where, an explosion of titanic proportion! The scorching heat in an infinite clout burns time and space throughout, giving birth to the home of all that lives and all that dies alike. From what was once a single point is now a horde of things… that poured across the vast and future skies. Now of grand and endless size, in space and time the matters now immerse. Is now the Universe…?

Chapter 1: Thirteen Billion Years Later…
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Those who help will be an acknowledgment for sure. Please help me out, I have a LOT of ideas! The end has an AWESOME twist, too.
-Andrew
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Answer 1

Very cool writing, but it sounds more like a really awesome freestyle poem or something because it almost rhymes at parts and the language is very cryptic and ominous. Post some of your story on my forum, PLEASE we need members and you're sure to get feedback at least from the few members we currently have (I'll make sure since I know them all). It's http://breathesmoke.freeforums.org

I would really really love to hear more of your story man, come post and (I'm a generally bored person and on there daily) I'll give some pretty immediate feedback. Hope to see you there!

Connor Holmes
Project Mayhem Administrator

Answer 2

It does seem like a poem.

Loryntoo gave you some good advice (she tends to do that).
I suggest that you not focus too closely on the scientific part of the story if that's not where your strength is....rather, focus more on the characters and relationships.

If you really want to get into the science part, then you will just need to learn about it. This is an ongoing process.

I just wrote a book about faster-than-light starships. I couldn't actually explain how they work, but I took what I've learned over the years and did the best I could with it.

Time travel is the same way....nobody knows how to do it...but there's a lot you write that will make a reader say, "Hm..that makes sense."

You want some ideas? See if you can find someone with a stack of old Scientific American magazines. You can go through them pretty fast and find all the articles about time and space.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

It's a little bland. I mean this example.

If you want to be more *descriptive* with describing the Big Bang--you have to stretch your imagination out further instead of limiting it to a generic 'hook' device--like the one you're using.

The beginning has no bite--the first sentence I mean. It doesn't do anything except to annoy people like me.

If you want to describe the explosion, you have to use words that can *illustrate* such devices.

If you want it be seen, use words like 'blossoming outwards' or 'a flash of bright light'--it doesn't have to be magnificent or astounding. It just has to sound plausible.

It has to be *real* and imaginable to the reader. So THEY can get a picture of it inside their heads.

If you can't do that, you're screwed. And sunk.

If I wanted to describe the beginnings of the Big Bang, I would do something like this:

For a time, nothing existed. No matter, no energy, nothing which could tell that a new *existence* was about to come into being.

Then it happened.

So quickly, it all started and ended in the blink of an eye. A bright flash of light, followed by a tremendous explosion of raw energy and matter--spreading in all directions.

A solitary star was born as the end result. But the expended wave of matter and energy continued to spread outwards at varying speeds.

In time, much of this star stuff would condense and cool--turning itself into proto stars, baby solar systems. And eventually?

Life itself would begin on some evolutionary scale.

This was the Universe as it was at the beginning of time.

This is what I witnessed with my own two eyes.

Human eyes.

Born from billions of years of future evolution--having traveled back in time to witness this one elusive event.

Some 18 billion years ago.

Answer 4

wow! i like to write a lot too, but i am younger than you, but please dont take that into account for what im about to say.
i think you have real potential! you have a great beginning. i think for the chapters though, you could use some more commonly used words, or you might have readers reaching for a dictionary why they read. i like when the book all flows together nicely, and you dont have to be interupted by not knowing what a word means. i guess it might matter on which audience you are aiming for. well, keep us all updated on how your book turns out. keep going at it, finish, get an agent or a publisher, and see if it gets published! i guarantee it would be a best seller! good luck!

Answer 5

I'm a writer, too, except you're a few years older than me, so I'm afraid there's nothing much I can help you with. May I suggest you watch the movie Donnie Darko, if you haven't? It should get you thinking.

If you have, already, then you should grab a copy of a book called Philosophy of Time Travel, I guess it should help.

Other than that, I'm worthless to you, I'm sorry!

Wish you luck on your writing!

Answer 6

If you read through the answers that I've already given, you'll learn a lot about writing. You want to do the same thing with Persiphone_Hellcat who is another professional writer.

If you are serious about writing, buckle down and learn the trade. Asking others to help you write your story teaches you nothing and gives you no credit.

Answer 7

http://www.jamesphogan.com/books/info.php?titleID=27&cmd=background

Here is James Hogan's summary of time travel novels in general and his, "Thrice Upon a Time" I thought he figured it out on a level or two higher than HG Wells did.

It might give you some ideas or differant angles to consider.

Good luck with your writing