at the end of july of this year, my husband and i got seperated. i packed up my things and moved back into my mother's house becasue my husband came to me and told me he filed for divorce. two weeks after we seperated i meet this guy and we only went out twice. my husband and i were sepereated for almost three months. a month after we seperated i only dated the other guy twice and then i stopped seeing him becasue i missed my husband and wanted to work things out. during those three months of our speration my husband and i were just dating and talking about working things out. he finally admitted to me that he lied about filing for divorce. he said he lied because he got tired of me letting my mother interfere in our marriage and that i did not have the guts to stand up to her. well i moved back in with my husband two weeks ago and we are doing fine right now, but the other guy who i havent heard from in two months has been emailing me.
2007-10-18 10:39:53 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i clearly stated that i have moved back in with my husband and we are going to work on our marriage and i think it is best for him stop emailing me. he got alittle mad and starting talking about how my husband was going to do the same thing all over again and that i should not be a push over for him and all that stuff. he said that he just wanted one more night with me. iam i wrong for going back to my husband? iam i wrong for wanting to work my marriage out or is this guy right? he says that iam stupid for letting my husband treat me that way and that he thought that we had something going. i never said that i wanted to be in a relationship with this guy in the first place. he was the one who did not want to get serious with me becasue he was still in love with his girlfriend who has not heard from in two weeks so basically i was a rebound. now he finds out that she has gotton married to someone else behind his back.
2007-10-18 10:46:15 · update #1
now he wants me to just let my husband go and just have one more night with him? it dosent feel right and i dont want to do that anymore.
2007-10-18 10:47:10 · update #2
yes guys i did email him back and tell him that i have moved back into the house with my husband and that we are going to work things out. that is when he got mad and started saying things about my husband. iam not stringing him along and i did email him back the first time but he seems to not want to let go. so iam going to block his emails because he dosent know where i live with my husband and he dosent have my home or cellphone number.
2007-10-18 10:55:20 · update #3
Stick with your husband and work on the marriage if you have trust in your husband.
2007-10-18 10:43:41 · answer #1 · answered by Twiggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking if it's wrong to be back with your husband? Wrong for dating another man? Wrong for emailing with the other guy? I'm not sure I understand and I'm sure others will be in the same boat.
=-]
Clearly, he was wrong for lying to you about the divorce filing. You going back was a choice you made. No one can criticize you for that. The question remains whether you want to be with your husband or with this other man. If the answer is your husband, tell the other guy you are working things out and to stop emailing you. Otherwise, if you string him along you could lose both (your husband if he finds out or the other man if he realizes you're stringing him along).
Hope this helps. Good luck to you! =-]
EDIT: Yes, the best thing to do would be to block his email address. You should be fine after that. Don't let some jerk make you rethink your feelings. If you made the right decision, it will FEEL right. =-]
2007-10-18 10:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by BigDanInTX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, these things happen. I certainly wouldn't say you were wrong, but at the same time I can easily see how it would suck to be this other guy right now. (Which is why you don't get involved with married people in the first place, separated or not. The situation is too volatile to really know where you stand.) This isn't your concern right now....your job is to try to repair a relationship with your husband. It deserves all of your attention (and his), and though I may feel badly for the other guy, he's a necessary casualty in the "love" war. (He will heal and find love elsewhere...and he'll probably choose wiser next time.) Good luck to you and your husband. You both came close to losing it all due to outside interference from a variety of sources. Don't let yourselves wind up here again.
2007-10-18 10:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not wrong, but if you arent honest with the other guy then you will be. Just tell him the truth. Dont expect him to be in your life any more or be friends with you, but you owe him a proper explanation and an apology.
Not that this was your question, but you and your husband seem like you have a lot to work out.. You should probably tell him about guy #2. Maybe you should do that before jumping back into things.
2007-10-18 10:44:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband was wrong to lie and say that he filed when he in fact hadn't done so... You did wrong by dating a man only 2 weeks after separating from your husband....If you really want to work on your marriage.....tell this other guy that you are back with your husband and that you think it is best that you have no further contact with one another....
This guy is a nut! He sounds really needy and not to mention very selfish....You are not wrong for wanting to work things out with your husband...this guy should respect your decision and leave you alone.....DO NOT RESPOND TO HIM ANY FURTHER!
Ok...great that he has no idea where you live and doesn't have your cell number.....Definitely block him on email....
2007-10-18 10:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that this other guy wants you to ditch what could be a lifetime of happiness for a one night stand. Tell him to buzz off and work things out with your husband. You are not a pushover for wanting to work things out. It was wrong for your husband to lie to you, but that shouldn't end a marriage. You need to talk to your husband and tell him that you would like it if next time he feels so strongly about something to just talk it out with you.
2007-10-18 10:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by xflatxlinex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you did not bang this guy when you went out twice.
Why would you ever put up with this guy telling you about your husband and what he was going to do?
It seems to me that he has not a clue what is up and is looking for sex, again.
Cut it off and tell him to leave you alone.
If you are back with your husband why on earth would you worry about some F buddy who has NOTHING invested in your life.
Cut it out and apologize to your husband. Better yet grow up and figure out waht you want from your marriage and make it happen.
2007-10-18 11:22:38 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your "dating" involved sleeping with this man. That's not "dating" that's sex. Even if you were separated at the time, your husband needs to know. Tell him now, before this man does, or he finds out another way. If you want your marriage to work from here on in it has to be based on honesty. If he finds out later, your marriage will be over.
2007-10-18 11:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on working things out with your husband. This guy sounds a little obsessive. If he emails you or tries to contact you in anyway email him and demand he stop contacting you or you will be forced to contact the authorities about ending his stalking.
2007-10-18 10:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong, he is hurting. You did the right thing, which was explaining to him what was going on, you owe him less than that if you never got serious with him. After clearing things up, you should not email him anymore, ignore his emails, block his adress, whatever. Any contact you have with him will only make matters worse.
2007-10-18 11:00:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋