why is it negative for a woman to be aggressive?

Question

ok, so I'm 22 years old and have always been outspoken (im a leo...). but recently I have experienced backlash because im condisdered 'aggressive'...this bothers me because i feel that if i am not forward, i get trampled over (in all instances! men, work, friends, society)...so why is it okay for a man to be forthright and opinionated, but it is not acceptable for me to be vocal and constructive in my communication with people? I would love to read feedback regarding this... Thanks!

Answer 1

we are still living in a society where men are supposedly "above" or "better" than women. some people still believe that the men are stronger than women. its perfectly fine for a woman to be outspoken and to be as aggressive as any man out there. men always go after what they want so why cant women? you shouldnt let people trample all over you. being a woman gives us even more reason to fight harder for what we want because our gender makes people or men see us different. not all, but many.

Answer 2

You can speak your mind and be a lady at the same time. Just don't go overboard with it. You don't have to be mean to be meaningful, I know that may sound cheesy but it is so true. You need to find more of a balance. Men are just wired much differently than women and that is how it is. Ask God.. I guess aggressiveness isn't a good thing but making an impact is good. If you are loud and overbearing always giving an opinion on things, that can get very annoying. If you are a lady and share your intelligent ideas nothing is wrong with that. From what you wrote about yourself I am the total opposite from you. It's funny how you say you are a Leo because my step-mother is a Leo and sounds to be a lot like you. I'm a Pisces and very laid-back and not exactly outspoken. However, I try hard not to let others walk all over me and I don't have too much trouble with that.
Hope I helped you :)

Answer 3

Well I think aggressiveness is tied to size men who are really small but aggressive get looked down on too. But being outspoken is a good thing I love it when my wife states her opinion or outright tells me what she wants or likes less guess work for me. Some people claim to be outspoken but really are loudmouths instead since I don't know you personally I cannot say one way or the other. If your are speaking your thoughts and concerns then you are outspoken and that is good. If you are yelling and acting like you are the baddest person in the room then you are being loudmouthed and know one ever takes a loud mouth seriously. I hoped this helped.

Answer 4

Hey I'm a leo too! Roaaaar! :)

I try to be outspoken and talk straight. But I still have issues with feeling that being agressive is not "lady like" and I am trying to get out of that. I'm still very shy though.

I think the society still has the bias that women are supposed to be the more gentle sex and that it is bad if we are not that way.

But I also think that most of the backlash that you talk about is from people who don't like it that a woman is confident in herself and respects herself and does not want to be frustrated and unsatisfied with situations. IOW a woman who is not a door mat!

Some women don't like it because they are unhappy and not secure and are upset by women who do something about their own situation instead of being princeses or martyrs. Some men don't like it because they have to actually deal with a woman without an unfair advantage.

Also I think that some men are confused and upset at the idea of being strong and proud w/o competition and don't get women who can think that way and to look for cooperation in communications and relationships with other people.

But I have to say that many men are Not like this. My bf is happy that I'm getting less shy too even if I blurt out stuff when we are talking and in most ways he is a very regular guy :)

Answer 5

It would be interesting to find out whether you 'forthright' opinions are expressed aggressively or not!

I'd guess that in the expressing yourself, you seemingly go too far and are experienced as 'aggressive.' It doesn't mean that you are aggressive, but that is the perception of you.

If you want to change this perception of you ~ and you likely need to in order to be taken seriously and not be just dismissed out of hand, then find yourself some help with this.

Sash.

Answer 6

Why is it negative for a man to be aggressive?
Most despise men who are forthright and opinionated, but then fight to uphold the same principles in themselves.
Also, vocal, forthright, and opinionated is not the same as constructive. If someone is truly constructive, I don't see why anyone wouldn't listen to them. I don't know anyone who wouldn't listen to someone who is constructive, and if that is the case, then seperate yourself from that individual(whether it's a female or male).

Apart from being constructive, being Vocal, forthright, and opinionated doesn't always adhere to Reason.

To say "I'm an Alpha Male" = To say "I'm a strong woman"

Answer 7

I as an anti-feminist can tell you that it's perfectly fine to be aggressive. There are times you'll run into a situation where you have to be. I'm the kind of a woman who obeys her husband; I'm telling you this for your own good, cause you don't, anyone will take the opportunity to walk all over you; never ever let them do that. Let me see there is a method to being properly opinionated which means that you just speak up, yet don't force your opinion on people. Always remember to use tact.

Answer 8

Really depends on how you go about being vocal and constructive.

It would be hard for you to give us an example. But I would suggest that maybe your friends are right and that you have a good look at the differences in the way you are forthright compared to others.

Answer 9

I'm in the same position. I guess it's a double standard. It's like when I was younger I use to keep to myself like a closed book (I was a mediator of sorts when fights started) but now I'm open too open and now everyone fights with me, when I just call it having an opinion. Heck even my best friend is starting to because of her boyfriend.

People call me agressive and over confident just because I know what I want. Heck to be honnest I'm not even that confident at all I'm just honest and people can't take it! It's retarded they're just loosers! Although it's known to be intimidating but still I say we have the right to speak up dude!

I'm a strong and independant woman!

And guys don't like that because they like the stereotype that chicks have to be all submissive and delicate. Maybe in the end it is better to just shut up and go with the flow!

Answer 10

You aren't being aggressive, you're being assertive and speaking up on your own behalf. That's what the mealy-mouthed call "aggressive." You keep on doing exactly what you're doing, and pay no attention to your critics. As long as you're not hurting anyone else, be proud of who you are.

And *especially* stay away from those who purport to speak on behalf of "God." First, they're wrong. Second, they have no idea what they're talking about. Third, they certainly don't have a direct hotline to heaven. Fourth, they have no business telling anyone else what to do. Fifth, God gave us ten rules to live by, and how women are supposed to be is not on that list.

I'm a Leo too. Trust me. For every person who tells you to be soft and gentle, there's 10 (men and women) who like you just the way you are! That's what being true to yourself means, and yours is the only opinion that counts.

Answer 11

I do not enjoy agressive or passive traits in others, no matter what their gender. I highly respect those that are assertive. It is possible to speak your mind and be heard without resorting to aggression. There is no way for me to tell from what you've said if you are assertive or have gone too far into aggressive. Only you know that for sure.