I recently (a month ago) was reunited with an old flame from my high school days. We hadnt seen each other in 8 years. Well he has been separted from his wife (she left him) since May of this year. Well just when he was starting the divorce process she realizes that she doesnt want a divorce and wants to get back together. In the short while that we have been back in touch I have developed feelings for him. Its like we never lost touch. But it seems like he might take her back. What should I do?
2007-10-18 09:15:23 · 20 answers · asked by KD 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The answer here is to be a true friend.
Everyone keeps saying don't mess with his marriage. But you haven't really described his marriage.
If he's married with kids, they are right. Don't break up a functioning home.
But if there aren't any kids and he's about to spend the rest of his life with a class A *****, you should damn well get involved.
The point is be a genuine friend. Let him go if that's what's best for HIM. But if it's not what's best for him, do let him know he has options - although you shouldn't heat things up until he resolves the situation.
2007-10-18 09:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by Phoenix Quill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him that you have developed feelings for him again and feel like barely any time has lapsed since you saw each other before. But with the possibility of his wife and him reuniting you feel it's best if you step back and let them work on thier marriage.
Let him know that if things don't work out, you'd be interested, but not until the divorce is final.
2007-10-18 16:20:23 · answer #2 · answered by Wendy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look do not even get involved with this drama. If and when they both get a legal divorce then you can show your interest. Do not sit around and wait for this to happen or you might become an old lady waiting on something that may never happen. Find someone else and move on in your life.
2007-10-18 16:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you have to ask yourself is. If you let this relationship go on any longer could you bear being hurt?. You have to ask him if he is going to take her back. Don't give the "it's her or me" sentence that would be silly as it would put him under more pressure than he is in now. Just ask him how he feels about her, you might not like what you hear but at least you will know where you stand in this relationship.
hope all goes well for you
2007-10-18 16:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You SHOULDN'T have gotten involved with him until there was a final decree of divorce. He was STILL married when you were "reunited" and you should have backed off then. Instead you CHOSE to pursue a relationship with a married man. What YOU should do is move on...he is MARRIED.
2007-10-18 21:46:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him alone don't call him nothing he is still a married man and we all make mistakes he might get back with her you are going to feel hurt so please get away from that if he does not take his wife back then okay but wait for them to get a divorce first.
2007-10-18 17:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should seperate yourself from him completly! He needs to resolve his life before starting a new relationship with you.
You will just get hurt if you stick around just to get hurt. If things don't work out with him and his ex let him know he may contact you and maybe if the feelings are still there you can consider starting something new!
2007-10-18 16:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by beyondeyezcanc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step back and let him decide what to do. Leave him alone. Otherwise you will always wonder if he would've gone back if you hadn't backed off. Don't be the other woman...I have been burned by the other woman myself and I wish that SHE had backed off and let us decide what was best for our marriage without her involvement. It is natural to have feelings for him, but he and she need to make the decision without outside interference. Take care
2007-10-18 16:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wait and see what happens with his wife.
This is his decision to make, and you shouldn't influence it in any way.. he has a history with her, and he may want there to be a future.
If he does go through with the divorce, then you can make your move.
2007-10-18 17:20:51 · answer #9 · answered by Truth Hurts Get Over It 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered your own question. While it might be hard I think you have to let him give his marriage another shot. If you really have feelings for him you will respect what he wants to do. Good luck, Im sure it won't be easy either way!
2007-10-18 16:19:48 · answer #10 · answered by chey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋