Ever since my husband told me I was ugly and I realized he is not who I thought he was, I've been unfaithful to my husband of 5 yrs. I have not cheated on him physically with another manbut I'v had feelings for two other men. One was with by first love, 2nd with a coworker. In other words, I stopped loving my husband even though I still care for him. I have instead allowed my heart to fall for someone else. My body with my husband and my heart out of place now.
I told my husband what he said really hurt me and that I was no longer in live with him, however, he never apologized for what he said. Like many things, I don't think he took it very seriously. That was a year ago.
Am I being selfish because I'm no longer attracted to him? I keep wanting someone who is as ambitious as I am, more mature, talks and hold me, and someone who shares similar interests. I have told him all this but all he does is play WoW. I think I married him for the wrong reasons & I feel bad about i
2007-10-18 08:55:40 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've told my husband how I felt except about me with the other two men. He has never listened and I'm giving up. I don't know how he will react since this now involves other ppl.
2007-10-18 09:02:36 · update #1
don't confess a thing to him, get some counseling to raise your self esteem,and get a divorce. you sound like you have a lot of good things in you and you need someone who is more interested in you than playing on the computer.
Once you are rid of him though, give yourself time to just be yourself and don't rush to get into a relationship for the sake of a relationship or you may end up back where you are now.
Life should be lived, not endured as you are doing now!!
2007-10-18 09:09:10 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did he tell you that you were ugly? in what context (i know its never forgivable) but were you having an argument? had you insulted him? or did he do it to hurt you cos he really wants to break up with you? do you still love him? do you believe what he said is true? are you ugly, really? arent these 2 guys just to tell your husband - ner,ner, ner, im beautiful and a catch and very desirable? do you love him? if he turned round to you tomorrow or now and said you are beautiful..would all be ok? who do you want? is your husband normally an ******** or was it just a stupid thing said in a stupid arguement? do you want to be with? why did you marry him?BELIEVE ME, WHAT YOU FEEL IS NORMAL - YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING - YOU HAVE NOT BEEN UNFAITHFUL (YET) DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID IF YOU STILL LOVE YOUR HUSBAND, BUT DONT PUT UP WITH ****. IF HE LOVES YOU HE WOULD NEVER CALL YOU UGLY UNLESS IT WAS HEAT OF THE MOMENT AND HE KNEW THAT SAYING THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY HE COULD HURT YOU AND MAKE YOU STOP OR TAKE NOTICE OF HOW HE'S FEELING. TAKE THE RELATIONSHIP BY THE BALLS AND ASK HIM IF HE MEANS IT- IF HE REALLY THINKS YOURE UGLY... IF SO.. FUKING GO FOR IT AND FIND THE MAN YOU DESERVE
BUT STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR SOMETHING YOU HAVENT DONE - HE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD FEEL GUILTY AND IF HE DOESNT -*** HIM FROM THE HIGHEST HEIGHT, HE DOESNT DESERVE YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN VERY PATIENT AND FORGIVIN, THIS COULD BE BECAUSE HES WORTH IT..IF THATS THE CASE - GOOD. BUT IF HE REALLY MEANS THE SHIIT HE SAYS TO YOU - THEN DONT WASTE YOUR EMOTIONS. SPEND TIME YOUNG FREE AND SINGLE AND KEEP AWAY FROM RELATIONSHIPS FOR A WHILE - DONT RUSH YOUR DECISIONS. BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DONT LET HIM LEAD YOUR LIFE - ITS YOUR LIFE AND YOU HAVE EVERY ***** RIGHT IN THE WORLD TO DEMAND AN EXPLANATION - AND IF YOURE TOO SCARED TO DO IT OR YOU FEAR HE MAY LEAVE YOU..THEN GET OUT NOW.. I CAN REALLY TELL YOU ABOUT FALLIN OUT OF LOVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND BEING UNFAITHFUL..BUT I WONT BORE YOU WITH THE DETAILS...FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME..AND TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND GET ANSWERS NOW. THIS COULD BE THE END OR IT COULD BE THE BEGINNIN OF A GREAT NEW START WITH HIM..XX
2007-10-20 03:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by english chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your love for your husband is conditional. It changes based on the way he acts or does not act. It is quite possible that your emotions for these other men is also conditional. They provide something you seek, so you reward them with positive feelings that you may think of as love.
I think you are not mature enough to understand what marriage is all about (and your husband is not smart enough to know what to say or not to say to a woman). I'm not saying that your immaturity makes you a bad person ot anything like that. But it does have an impact on your relationship. A marriage is a partnership... for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad times. If your love can fade away or die of because of something that he said, then your level of committment is not where it needs to be in order to make a marriage work. You dedicate yourself to him and love him no matter what mistakes he makes.
2007-10-18 09:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're having an emotional affair. That is the technical word for what you're doing. It is a form of cheating, but not in the physical sense. The emotional part of a marriage is equally as important as the physical, if not more. We all want to be wanted and loved and if he is not willing to provide that to you, then you owe it to yourself and your husband to call it quits. However, I think you owe him an explanation and I think that you need to be prepared for him to be hurt. He has a right to know how you feel. Good luck.
2007-10-18 09:28:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a terribly hateful thing to say to you, which is an emotionally undermining comment to make. And he wasn't even sorry about saying it. So I am confused about something... why are you still living with this man? By your own admission, you've loved 2 men recently. Unless you want to try to love again the man you are married to, then I don't see why you should tell him about these other feelings. Since you didn't mention children, that isn't an issue, so why are you still there??? Run, don't walk... and find a man who will love and appreciate all your wonderful qualities.
2007-10-18 09:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by Enchantress38 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you tell him you've been 'unfaithful' he will naturally assume you've had an adulterous, physical affair with another person.
Instead, tell him you're unhappy and you're considering ending the marriage, and see how he responds.
P.S. Playing WoW is a lot better than various other things he could be doing with his spare time, like drinking, doing drugs, going out with other women, committing crimes, downloading porn, or campaigning for the Republicans, so give him a break.
2007-10-18 09:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I usually do not tell people to get divorced but in your case you probably should......you obviously do not want to be with him and you allowed your heart to stray which I believe to an extent can be worse than if you had a physical affair.....not that I condone physical affairs I DO NOT..however you have given your heart away.....when people (some) cheat physically its just for the sex no emotion to it STILL WRONG but different......you need to file for divorce and move on......
2007-10-18 09:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you need a divorce. It's not that you married for the wrong reasons you just got married to soon. Being attracted to one another is apart of the plan of being marriage and it seems he just doesn't love you. Move on he's not worth it.
2007-10-18 09:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by dana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-13 02:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did good, he's an ****** for treating you like sh**. The fact his treating you horribly has lead you to someone else, is his fault and you haven't committed adultery.
Just some of advice, if you're going to be in another man, at least have the respect to leave your husband first.
2007-10-18 09:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by Stedway 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋