I was cleaning up his laundry the other day and happened across a questionable magazine in his room. It was filled with un-Godly material! I'm sure that some girl must have left it there by accident. I don't want to make a big deal about this, but I also want to let him know that sneaking girls into our house is not okay.
How should I let him know that he's not allowed to fool around any longer?
2007-10-18 08:30:13 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Ha!!
He's either very gay or very straight.
2007-10-18 08:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 1⤋
What kind of "un-Godly material" would you suspect a GIRL had left? A Cosmo magazine? Victoria's Secret catalog? You're going to have to be a little more specific and a little more realistic when dealing with a 16 year old boy. They're gonna look at porn. It's natural. They're curious. AND how often do YOU talk to your son about sex? You have to keep the lines of communication OPEN and let him know that he can talk to you WITHOUT being JUDGED by you!!!! If he thinks you're going to disapprove of what he wants to talk about, you're doomed. I still don't understand what you would think a girl had left in his room, unless you're a real prude who doens't remember what teenage hormones are like.
2007-10-18 10:37:29 · answer #2 · answered by teacherhelper 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Someone could have easily given it to him at school as a joke. It's ignorant of you to assume a girl left it unless you are seeing other signs. If you don't know if your 16 year old is sneaking girls in his room then I would have to say you aren't a very good parent. Open your eyes. If the magazine IS his you better start opening your eyes and your mind quickly because nothing is worth losing your son over.
2007-10-18 10:37:43 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is now 18, but when he was younger (maybe 14), I checked the computer and found that he'd been on porn sites. I immediately sat him down and talked to him. I explained to him that porn sites on the internet are completely inappropriate. I then made the offer to buy him a magazine if he asked.... as long as he promised to no longer look at those particular internet sites. About a year later, he asked for a magazine... I bit my tongue and bought him a Playboy. It must have been a year or so after that and he asked for condoms. We talked about whether or not he'd had sex already.. whether or not she'd had sex already... how he was to treat her with kindness, dignity, respect and to never, ever push her... I then went and bought him a box of condoms. I'd rather know what's going on and give him access to "healthy and normal" porn (yes... I know... an oxymoron) and prevent an unwanted pregnancy, then to live in the dark with my eyes shut and keep saying.. no no no... not MY kid.
2007-10-19 10:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by Brooke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say what the magazine was but I"m not sure why you assume it had to be a girl who snuck the magazine in. If it's porn, usually boys read that way more than girls.
If you ask him about it straight up, you will probably embarrass him so bad that he'll never bring it in again (or he'll be a lot more careful where he hides stuff!) But it is totally natural for boys to look at "adult" magazines, even nice old fashioned gentemen like my husband did when he was about 13.
2007-10-18 08:48:52 · answer #5 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a teenage girl, and I'm pretty sure girls my age don't buy a lot of porn. There's a few things you should think about before you talk to your son.
1. Your son could be hanging out with girls in his room.
2. Maybe your son is gay
3. Maybe some of his friends put the magazine in his room to create a awkward situation, cause they thought it would be funny.
4. He might want to read about things that girls like. Maybe he's nervous about sex, or just being around girls.
I would say just ask him about it. Don't make it too awkward. Hope all goes well!
2007-10-18 08:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by lauren 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok calm down. Think about a few things before you do anything -
1. Most girls don't have those kind of magazines. It could have been his. But don't go making any accusations yet, wait and see what happens. Maybe leave it on his bed so he knows you found it.
2. If it wasn't his, it could have been a male friend who brought it round. And having gay friends doesn't neccesarily mean he's gay.
3. If it was a girl's, they could have been just friends, not actually doing anything like that in his room.
Tell him that he should ask you first if he wants to bring his friends back. That way you're not directly accusing him of anything, and girlfriends could be included in that as well.
Good luck! And whatever happens, remember to make sure he knows you still love him. I'm talking about if he turns out to be gay. My friends parents found out he was gay and threw him out the house. it completely ruined his relationship with them. But I'm sure you wouldn't do anything like that.
2007-10-19 05:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by Emma :) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think the magazine isn't your son's....your idea that he's a 'good' boy and that some nasty girl did it????
What kind of magazine was it, anyway.......even Cosmopolitan, which technically is a girl's mag will be purchased by guys outta curiosity....and we all know that Victoria's Secret is designed for ladies but guys scope it out.......
I guarentee it's his and some secreted girl has nothng to do with it....now if you found a bra or panties, then I could understand your suspicion, but a magazine????
Bah, it's normal 16 year old boy behavior...if you don't want that kind of material in your house tell him so, but don't asume he's sneaking girls in to the bedroom, not based on that.....
2007-10-18 08:40:33 · answer #8 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That is just wrong i can see a 9 year old going in their older sister's room but a 14 year old grow up!!! Buy your own thongs and respect your sister's privacy and things. Its okay to wear a thong but to steal them from someone else is so immature.
2016-05-23 10:41:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my personal opinion, is dont make him feel embarassed in any way and tell him you know hes a growing man but you would appreciate him being mature, honest and respectfull of your home till he is grown enough to have his own. but untill then he must respect you , your home and be honest. and ask him if a girl was there or if he took the book home from school or something.
2007-10-18 08:44:44 · answer #10 · answered by karen a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should sit down with your son and talk to him..set some rules out about what is acceptable and what is not. Though i doubt he is sneaking girls into his room.
2007-10-18 09:13:58 · answer #11 · answered by Katie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋