why do some women mock, insult, and discourage other women for planning a natural childbirth?

Question

i've done a lot of research (contrary to what said people believe) and the more research i've done, the more i'm for having a natural childbirth (barring serious complications, of course)

people jump all over pregnant women for not doing everything in the best interest of their unborn child, yet they don't see that that is what myself & others like me are trying to do by having a natural childbirth.

for example, you wouldn't condone cocaine or heroine use by a pregnant woman, right? so why should narcotic derivatives of those drugs be suitable for childbirth?? (Novocaine, nubain, demerol, stadol, etc. are all in the same drug class as cocaine & heroine).

also, epidurals & spinal blocks, which are quite useful in some instances, have many potential side effects including fetal distress, maternal paralysis, worsening of asthma, spinal headaches, back problems, increased risk of c-section, slowing labor, etc. So why should it be pushed on everyone?? Why should a woman wanting to AVOID those risks be laughed at?

i understand that i have not given birth and so some women think i'm "clueless" but i do know and have talked to many women that HAVE given birth, both using an epidural and going natural. and i have done my share of research on the subject.
i'm also not trying to convince anyone to do it my way. i just like to inform people of the things i've discovered, because many women i've talked to have never heard of some of the risks & benefits of certain things, some have not even heard some of the natural childbirth concepts before.
i would want to make an informed decision, so i share what i know, what i've learned in my research.
yet i get scoffed at for presenting a different side, & my choice to try & do what i think is best for my baby gets mocked.
why is that???

no, i'm *certainly* not saying it makes anyone more of a woman, i'm just upset that people literally LAUGH at me for wanting to avoid using medication if it's not absolutely necessary.
*I* personally have a very high pain tolerance, not everyone does, i know. too much pain can impede labor, which is not good, obviously.

but i feel that *i* need to at least try to go without any drugs. i don't see why some people look down on that?!? i'm not telling anyone else to do it, the only thing i've ever told anyone about it is to look into thier options before decididng what's best for *them*.

yes, being induced with pitocin i hear is much more painful, and i think pain relief is nearly always necessary for that circumstance.
needing to be induced is actuallly one of my main concerns, because i'm sure that will throw plan A out the window, but i do have a plan B just in case :)

pennypin- i'm going thru Bradley method classes right now! i'm glad to hear they help so much :)

Answer 1

I've been wondering this myself - I too am planning a natural birth, and am more confidant about this the more I research (I like to be fully informed when I make a decision, which doesn't seem to be the case for a lot of people around here). I think that a lot of women don't realize the risks of an epidural, so they just think we are either insane, or just doing it for an ego boost. But, I am neither insane, nor am I trying to be better than anyone else. I am simply trying to make decisions that will increase my likelihood of an uncomplicated, safe birth.

I, too, am amazed that people think it's fine to put narcotics in their bloodstream while in labor, but freak out if you say that one glass of wine while pregnant is okay. But, again, I think it might be because they aren't really informed. I don't think doctors actually tell women what goes into an epidural, or what the risks are. Most women don't realize that epidurals just open the door to a lot of interventions. We can't necessarily fault them for that - I would say it's a problem with the medical community.

Good luck with your natural birth. :)

Answer 2

I don't believe a woman who wants a natural childbirth should be mocked, but I don't believe that proponents of "natural childbirth" should denigrate those of us who those of us who choose the epidural, either.

My water broke before I went into labor, which means that the baby *HAD* to come out within 24 hours or the risk of infection would be unacceptable. If I didn't deliver the baby in that time I would be cut open. I was already full-term so I was induced on a pitocin drip.

Induced labor is supposed to more painful than natural labor. As the contractions got stronger all I could do was thrash in pain when each one washed over me. I accepted the epidural when I was sufficiently dilated. The labor lasted for 12 hours, and the epidural took the pain away so I could sleep. My child showed strong readings on the fetal monitor all the way through. Pushing out the child took all that I had. She wouldn't come out because she was so large. They cut me so the head would come out and I still tore badly. She was 9 lb 7 oz and scored 10 and 10 on her apgar scores, the highest score possible for an infant. I am a petite woman.

I have every belief that without the epidural I would have been too exhausted to push out my baby. I would have writhed in pain all night long and in the end would have had to go under the knife for a ceasarian, putting both me and the baby at higher risk. The baby would also lose the many benefits that come from the trip down the birth canal, including the natural compression of the lungs that forces all the fluid out of the lungs much better than a doctor can suction it, and the compression of the brain that causes the catecholamine surge in the newborn. C-section does neither of these. A C-section would have also hampered my ability to nurse and care for my newborn.

They are wrong to laugh at you. But remember that epidurals have their place as well, and if used properly can help a person avoid a C-section, which is almost always better for mother and child. The choice of painkiller or not will be up to YOU when the time comes. Your body will guide you--listen to it. What rude people say in the meantime is meaningless. Just don't take any of them into the delivery room!

Congratulations and good luck! P.S. I thoroughly recommend the book I have listed below. It's a fascinating and very informative look into the developing mind of your child. I appreciate my baby so much more for understanding her better.

Answer 3

It is kind of funny to hear you say this, because I am on the opposite side of this! I had an epi with my son... my pain tolerance is unfortunately low, and I was slowing myself up from the pain... the epidural came and I went from 4 to 9 in 30 minutes! LOL My problem is that all my friends (god love them!) chose the natural childbirth route, and they give me grief for planning to have an epidural when I have my second child next Spring! I guess it doesn't really matter which side you are on, every woman who has been through it will have her opinion! That absolutely doesn't mean they have the right to laugh at you for your decision! I personally hold my friends in a new light for being able to handle the pains of labor naturally when I didn't succeed... and just the same I don't want anyone getting on me for my decision!

Keep your head up, and stick to your birth plan! Just don't be upset if something happens and you don't get to stick to it, things certainly didn't happen the way I planned the first time around, but I ended up with a beautiful and healthy baby boy anyways! Take care!

Answer 4

Good for you!! A natural childbirth is definitely the way to go. It's better all around for mother and baby. I've had my children naturally (no drugs) and I've never had a problem. All my children were born happy and healthy and I was up and walking around like nothing two hours later. (I got yelled at by the hospital staff...but I did it anyways)

I think that people get bent out of shape about this because the women who go ahead with an epidural before even trying to labor naturally want to convince themselves (and anyone else who'll listen) that they are going through labor the same as a woman who doesn't have drugs. I think that the louder someone balks at what you are doing...the more they are trying to convince themselves. Having an epidural is fine if that's what you want....even my sister-in-law told me she was having an epidural because she didn't want to have all that pain. I gave her props for at least being honest.

I don't think that anyone has the right to condemn anyone for how they want to bring the baby into this world...I personally would never have a water birth or use Tibetan Bowls to soothe me...but I wouldn't yell at someone else for doing it.

And all your research is good for your own knowledge...but when it comes to sex, politics & children....it's best NOT to talk about it in public!! It's good that you did all that reading to make your own decision, but you shouldn't shove natural childbirth down another woman's throat. Epidurals and other narcotics that are given during labor have been used for years...so their Dr' have told them the risks and warnings as well. Just like you don't like someone laughing at your decision...it's just as wrong for you to do the same.

Good luck and happy labor!!

Answer 5

I get mocked by most of the women I know for wanting a natural childbirth. I don't have concerns like you, due to the fact that I work for Anesthesiologist and have confidence in those guys (well most of them). My concern is a needle, I have a phobia. Women who had epidurals tend to think that everyone should have one. Women who go natural think any woman can do it. Truth is to each their own, but I wish that people would not laugh when I tell them that am going natural. Most think because of my size and because I am kinda a princess (high maintenance) that I will "wuss out". I think I am determined enough to go all the way without drugs, but who knows until you are there. Oh well, I am sorry that people are giving you a hard time, at least you aren't alone! Good Luck!

Answer 6

Well, I've certainly not damaged a bone so I could not examine the 2. I had traditional, however did get an epidural to take the brink off each occasions. The first time, the epidural didnt paintings in any respect, simply numbed my leg, so I did emerge as feeling the whole thing. There was once a burning feeling however the urge to push form of overwhelms each and every different sensation your feeling on the time. I actually cannot keep in mind any ache instantly after. During the sewing up (for those who tear) they use a nearby, so you do not think it. I feel the hard work aspect is the more severe, because it might probably opt for any duration of time. Both mine have been approximately eight hours whole, with approximately an hour rough hard work. To me, it was once like a megamega menstrual cramp,and it is available in waves. Breathing is helping. Good success!

Answer 7

I don't think I've heard of someone being laughed at for refusing drugs, epidurals etc during labor. I don't really think people would ridicule a woman for trying to go it the natural route.

I think where the controversy comes in is when a woman wants to give birth at home alone with no medical personnel or with only a midwife, etc. Which I guess is fine in a normal healthy pregnancy. But in this circumstance should the unexpected happen and a medical crisis arises then I think people will say it is irresponsible to not be in a situation where, should circumstances call for it, medical intervention can occur to save the mother or childs life.

Answer 8

I am sure some responses may come across as rude or negative but the majority are just out of experience. Yes, I find it laughable (like many) but not in a personal attack way - just in a "been there, thought I was going to die until I got the drugs" way.

You can research and educate yourself until the day you have your baby but in the end nobody know what will or will not happen until you are in the situation.
I think an outrageous amount of women plan on going at it the natural way but change their minds once in the situation.
I think many of us can also agree that women that have never gone through this yet have a way of acting better, smarter, and experienced in an area they ultimately have not been through. Nobody makes a choice to have or not have drugs in an effort to harm their baby but there are no words to express how intense of a situation it is on so many different levels.
I have had an epidural and one without any drugs and wouldn't do either differently.

But either way - Congrats to you! I am sure you will make an incredible mom and I wish you the best!

Answer 9

Because they don't understand your reasons, and for that reason don't agree. I think we all have a right to our own opinions and choices, and that each one of us should be doing what we feel is best for us and our babies. If it's different from someone else's choice, then so what? Like you said, you're not pushing your views on anybody, or demanding that all women opt for the same thing. Sheesh, I admire you. I simply don't think I'll be able to deal with the pain - for that reason I've already requested an epidural. But I'm not sitting here tell you you're crazy, and what are you doing, and how can you plan for such a thing when you don't even know how things will go when the time comes! What's best for you is best for you. What's best for me is best for me. If everybody would adopt the same way of thinking, nobody would be fighting over it!

Congrats to you, and I wish you the best!

Answer 10

I planned on going natural but after 48 hours of contractions i just wanted to sleep and didn't care about my plan to go natural anymore so i did experience the laughs.

Back to the question, i think people are laughing because its like a "yea right " laugh. Its not a "you're an idiot" laugh. I think people just don't think people aren' t going to be able to go through the pain (even though people have been giving birth naturally for centuries).

Also people who have not educated themselves on birth and the birth methods do not get that it can complicate birth.

I was really afraid of getting an epidural because i knew that it increased the chance of a c-section and that is what i really did not want.