A very good friend of mine is having marriage problems and has come to me for advice, the problem is i don't really know what to say to her problems. her husband has told her that he no longer fancys her and does not know if he loves her anymore. my friend is distraught, and is also having problems at work which are also adding to her stress. her husband has decided to go away for a couple of days to get his head around things. has he had enough of the relationship?
2007-10-18 08:11:05 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they need some marriage counseling. sometimes marriages just get into a rut and people do not know how to fix them on their own. also, these same people do not know how to communicate what they need from the other person. this is where the counselor comes in. if they are both willing to try to save the marriage, it's worth a try.
2007-10-18 08:14:36 · answer #1 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all, if you don't know what to say to your friend, don't say anything at all. Tell her you want to be a good listener & friend, but unfortunately don't have any ready answers for her. This is the kind of situation/relationship where it is best left between the two people involved.
For one reason or another, people do fall in and out of love....sometimes without any previous indications. The best thing for your friend to do is to examine what is right and wrong about her marriage. She needs to sit down with her spouse and iron out the things causing these problems. She probably should seek professional marriage counseling.
Is there another woman involved? Do they have financial issues? Do they spend enough time with one another? How long has this "distance" exist? There are lots of these types of questions that needs to be answered.....and she will need your shoulder to cry on and ear to vent....
2007-10-18 08:18:58 · answer #2 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sure has. If you cant' keep the spice then you can't keep the life. Marriage is a very hard road to go down and it take a lot of work. It's kind of like detroit road in the beginning you start off with a nice road and through time it starts to get beat up and you run into a pot hole of problems but the best part about it is you can fix the pot holes and smooth the road it just take you and your better half to make it happen. One person can't do all the work and expect for it to run smoothly then that means only one side of the road is being fixed while the other side is just falling apart then when it gets really bad nobody wants to go down the really bad road because it's to damaged to be fixed. If he doesn't love her anymore then she needs to start doing to things. Either start the repair work or pack up your tool bag and move to a new road that may be easier to travel.
2007-10-18 08:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You don't have to give her advice - you're not a therapist or a trained marriage counselor. All you have to do is listen, and support her, and encourage her to find the right answers for herself.
It sounds like their relationship is at a crisis point, and they need help with the most important factor in any relationship - communication. If they are finding it difficult to talk openly and honestly with each other, they should meet with a certified marriage counselor as soon as possible, before making any life-altering decisions.
2007-10-18 08:18:49 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. Men go through stuff like this all the time. They imagine what they could have done in life had they not married; If couples are arguing, the man can only remember the resentment and nagging etc. He's doing the right thing. Once he is a way from her and out of the box, he'll be able to remember all the good things and the reasons he loves her. Trust me, far more than often when men have these feelings; its only temporary...
2007-10-18 08:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by John[nottheapostle] 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ending a marriage should never be about having "enough" of a relationship. Its a committment--for better or worse. The promise wasn't made if you still fancied each other for the rest of your life. Divorce isn't a simple solution, its baggage you carry with you the rest of your life and never fully recover from. Just beacuse the sparks arent' there is not a reason to end a marriage, and if this guy thinks it is he needs a wake up call to the reality of what his promises really meant.
2007-10-18 08:16:22 · answer #6 · answered by Solorya 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think all you can do now is carry on being her very good friend. It sounds like her husband has lost interest and wants to move on. It could well be that he's met someone else and realised his marriage is not as good as it could be, that his wife is not the most suitable person he could be with.
It's going to be difficult for her for a while and she'll need a shoulder to lean on.
2007-10-18 08:28:09 · answer #7 · answered by finch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they've been recently married, or even married for a long time, he might just be in a rut and unsure of not only the marriage but himself. It might not be the end of a marriage, sometimes people need their own space when being with another person all the time. She needs to wait it out and see what happens. She also needs to talk to him (not fight with him) about what is bothering him, how long hes felt that way, if he knows why he suddenly fell out of love with her. Work through it...thats what marriage is.
2007-10-18 08:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by chevalrose 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is going away to have an affair. He probl. already has a mistress. She should go away for a few days herself to get her mind clear and things in perspective.
Her job stress is adding to everything else. Take some time off and again gain some perspective. Remember, all any of us have to do in this life is be born, and die. What happens inbetween changes every day.
2007-10-18 08:15:22 · answer #9 · answered by donniez369 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweety sounds like ! My x wife also fell out of love ! Unfertunetly it happens alot. We love people always but being in love is a whole different thing ! Sad thing is it is usually only one of the two that fall out of love ! I will pray for her to be strong and move on !
2007-10-18 08:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋