How to stand up to these threats??

Question

It seems like people always threaten me (mentally) to do things that will mess up my life (not physically, but emotionally or mentally) and i always get so scared! Example.. If you dont do this..i will tell your parents about that. Or they will hold secrets over my head to blab to the world. these are ppl i deal with every day tho. i'm an adult though and i shouldnt be scared of anyone. I just take threats to heart and i dont know how to blow them off when people say things to me. This question does not in any way have to do with getting beat up or anything physical. I just am always so worried what ppl are going to do to me. I just dont want to care and want to be able to say "fine go ahead" but instead i freak out! How do i not let ppl and words/threats get to me like that. It just seems like everyone i care about loves to see me upset and then give in and comply with what they want.

Answer 1

It seems that something in your past is causing you to react in a very negative way. How do you feel when you get scared? Do you feel it in your stomach? Head? Throat? All three? Other places? Feelings in your stomach usually hint at something from your past, your throat is your inability to say what you want, and your head is your need to understand or feelings of being overwhelmed. You are being lead by your emotions, not your sense. These are the main three that I pay attention to when I feel "scared" or out of control in a situation.
Try to relax, and think clearly about that is going on. What do these situations remind you of? What is the FIRST THING that comes to mind when you are scared?
Being an adult doesn't mean that you don't get scared, or have feelings that you can't explain. Let yourself go a bit don't take things to personally. When someone is threatening you it is usually because of their own insecurities, and in reality have NOTHING to do with you!! People have a way (all of us!) of projecting what is wrong with us or what we feel, onto others, by pointing fingers. When actually it is all about them!!
Maybe seeing a therapist to help you work through things that scare you will help. Good Luck!! And remember, when you feel scared, see who is pointing fingers, and think of them as the one who is troubled, NO YOU!! It helps!

Answer 2

I know how you feel the same thing a happened to me and I didn't know how to act even though i just wanted to stick up for myself. For the longest time i did nothing and that gave them power and that's all they want from you is the power. They like the idea that they can control you and put fear in you and they know that you don't like it and won't do anything about it. Like I said I was the same way I did nothing and said nothing for years until it was to much to bear.

I would suggest the best thing to do is just look them in the eyes and tell them go ahead. The more you show them that your not afraid and that you won't take it anymore it will throw them for a loop. They will be shocked and won't know what to do. Sure they'll try and get you with another thing but just do the same thing. Once you take the power away from them they will have nothing to use against you and they will back off and you will have your life back and won't have to worry about it anymore.

I had to this with my so called mother in-law and once i stuck up for myself and showed her that she couldn't bully me anymore she did a 180 and was nice, because she knew she couldn't hurt me no matter what she said or did.
So hold you head up high and show them that you won't and can't be pushed around and i promise you things will be better.

Answer 3

Well..They can't exactly be labeled as friends if they like seeing you hurt, the only way to be able to stand up to threats is to just allow it to happen. If they threaten you, just say okay, and walk away. They probably won't do it anyways, half of the time people bullshit in their threats.
But that is also called blackmailing, if they threaten to say something to someone if you don't do this or that. Which is against the law. Just stand up to them, it's not hard. Don't tell them any secrets that mean ALOT to you, and they can't blab them to the world. What I do is I write my secrets down and then burn them. It's a hella lot safer, and I can guarantee no one will see them. People are also probably only threatening because they like to see you react. When I was little my dad would make fun of me all the time, just to see my reaction, then when my mom would yell at him he would tell her if I stopped reacting he would stop teasing. My best friend does it to me too, so I stopped reacting to them and pulled out something better, just to get them to react. Just remember, say no, and they will most likely not follow through.

Answer 4

I agree with most of these responses to your dilemna. First of all, have you done something so horrible you would go to jail?? Have you done something so horrible that it would cause great bodily harm or emotional destruction to someone??? I don't think so......GET A GRIP...and CLAM UP around these numbnuts!!!! Quit talking to them, ignore them do your job, or what ever it is you are doing around them and leave with a smile in your heart, and on your FACE...When they do this literally JUST LOOK AT THEM AND SMILE....AND WALK AWAY....NO COMMENTS... And dont carry on any conversations with them.....other than what is pertinent to the job to do. That's it....It would only take a couple of times of doing this that they will stop....and leave you alone......This method will show them you can't be shaken. And they dont scare you....Their edge will be gone...because you have gained the inner strength to overcome this. Don't talk to them in the evening either, if they call you at home, be polite and say"I am very busy at this time, and I need to hang up. Bye now" HANG UP...Do this with everyone who has this EDGE with you.....You will be the victor here..........I did this same thing in a work environment, and I stopped letting myself become intimidated by these a**H****..........I matured......BE STRONG BE FIRM AND SMILE.........(that hides a lot) and It will drive them crazy....Good Luck

Answer 5

So, you're basically either getting blackmailed or bribed (emotionally). I know it can be very hard to face these people, but just try not to take things seriously, and act as if they've just made a joke. Stand up for yourself, thinking you are someone else - forget what everyone else is gonna think, just focus on saying no. My main advice is to stay calm and happy, and they'll know not to take that attitude with you again.

Answer 6

How many people exactly? And why are they in your life? If you're an adult, you can confront them. Don't give them the power to threaten you.

Let them know their actions are not acceptable, that you no longer wish to hear their threats, and that you really no longer wish to be in their company if they continue to play with your mind as they have been doing.

If what they have said in the past causes you as much upset as you claim, then you need counselling. Please think about it.

Answer 7

If you're an adult, someone telling you they're going to tell your mother on you isn't something you'd be worried about. Are you in high school? Just ignore them! What do you care what they do? It sounds like you've got a guilt complex and you're always waiting for impending punishment. I think you need to talk to a therapist about this. I don't think we're qualified here.

Answer 8

That Orca is a no-threat fatso-face. You puffins reveal your weakness in cowering from his slobbering threats. Penguin Pride!

Answer 9

They threaten you those ways because they know those threats work.

You really should tell them "Go ahead. Do it."
PRACTICE THIS so the next time someone threatens you, this response is automatic.

by they way, what they are doing is emotional blackmail and harassment.

Answer 10

Stand up for yourself. Don't let them do this to you. You have a right to defend yourself whether it be verbally or otherwise. If you don't have anything to hide then they really can't hurt you except by using their mouth. Stand up to them and see if they don't quite. If not, then you'll be like this for the rest of your life.