My husband wants me to have nothing to do with my family whatsoever. Granted there has been drama in the past and some fallings out but it's family. I do still maintain contact and see them and he knows this - there are no secrets about that but he does not want them over to visit. Not birthday's, not holiday's, nothing. It's hard on me and the kids because I love to cook and I want to invite EVERYONE over for the holidays.
Should I just suck it up and be the obedient wife and just never host anything at home? What type of behavior are we showing our children?
2007-10-18 07:10:38 · 8 answers · asked by That Deal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's nothing major - lot's of women in my family so bickering is what it is mostly. I'm not looking for anyone to bash my husband - I love him and respect him and I have done nothing wrong. I was just looking for other thoughts on this issue.
Wow - there is so much negativity here.
2007-10-18 07:17:31 · update #1
in the end family is all you have and he's now part of yours. Maybe have a talk with some of the ladies and tell them they can't do whatever it is they're doing when they come over to your house. Maybe just limit it to a couple holidays that you have everyone over, make a compromise with your husband on the days. Don't diss-associate yourself from you're family, you'll very much regret it later in life.
2007-10-18 07:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sarahz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to figure out why he is being so controlling. Even if there has been some falling out among the family, holidays and birthdays are times to heal the falling out moments. This is setting a very poor example for your children. If he is this controlling in other areas - how money is spent and for what, where you go and who you see, what the kids are allowed to do or not allowed to do, and so on, it might be better to have nothing to do with the husband and go to the family for support.
When the holidays come around, get together with another relative and cook there and invite everyone and if he doesn't want to come that is his loss!!
2007-10-18 07:23:39 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow obedient wife, are you kidding, please don't let your husband dictate who you will see and who you will not. EVERY family has ups and dows but you dont just stop talking to them. you move past the drama and start to build bonds and trusts again. its your family and if he is asking you to do this there is a bigger problem between the two. If someone were to tell me to stop talking to my family I would be furisous. Im not saying divorce obviously you two have a family and love each other (i hope) but you need to sit down and talk to him about it. And your right you are showing your childreen bad behaviour. they will end up doing the same to you when they grow up. good luck and you can never replace your family, so I really hope you work this out and still talk to your family.
2007-10-18 07:15:58 · answer #3 · answered by jm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What was the falling out over? Maybe your husband is still upset about that and has hurt feelings that you are already over it. Did it have something to do with him? Talk to him.
You shouldn't have to alienate your family, but you also shouldn't put your husband in an uncomfortable position either.
2007-10-18 07:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by *Almost ready* 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you always "obey" your husband?
We had "obey" removed from our vows. We don't have just one person making decisions at our house.
Who does your husband think he is that he can demand that you not see your family, drama or not???
I would tell him if he does not like your family coming over than maybe he should leave for the day.
I would never out up with that crap and my husband knows it.
2007-10-18 07:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went through the same thing myself. my family is not exactly functional, they havent done anything to hurt me really, but they dont display the best morals and there is just a lot of arguing and disrespect between all of them. my husband forbid me and my son from going anywhere near any of them, with the exeption of my mother. he knew that would never work. at first it caused a lot of arguments between me and him because i thought it should be my decision if they should be in our lives or not and i dont like to be controlled. but he kept telling me ,to just trust him, that it would all be better in the long run. and it is so much better, the stress factor has been lifted from within our marriage and family life without them. i love my family but sometimes other peoples baggage really brings you down. have you every heard the saying misery loves company"
2007-10-18 08:16:10 · answer #6 · answered by kisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are making a complicated question too simple for us! What kinds of "fallings out" and what kind of "drama"?
Generally you forgive family and try to mend but if something terrible happened and the family is not repentant then it isn't that simple!
Sorry without more info I will not bash your hubby!
2007-10-18 07:15:46 · answer #7 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
drama and fallings out and you blame him for not wanting more???
Grow up, it is not being obedient, it is being respectfull
2007-10-18 07:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by idtshadow 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋