Been married for 6yr have 3 kids, well over the years we have had violence on his part just yesterday he spit in my face and I had enough and I hauled off and kicked and punched him, I left with my son (other two are in school) and he called the cops and file charges I went to the court house yesterday to talk to them about getting him out of the house getting a restraining order etc. Basically the judge laughed in my face and told me I assulated him and I have no proof he spit in my face and since they have came to my house before and they have record I still shouldnt of hit him so no restraing order and they told me to stay in a shelter tell I get it toghter.. I went down to my landlord and he told me he wont take my husband off the lease cause if he have to go to court to pay the rent both our names have to be on there, but he did tell me to change the locks so my husband can't get in..
My ? is can I do that without getting in trouble with the cops again?
2007-10-18 06:46:11 · 16 answers · asked by Alexis221 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also my husband is refusing to sign the divorce papers, it told me he wants to make my life and my kids lives hell. He doesnt work, I have done all the working since day one so he doesnt even provided for us, My friend gave me money to stay in a hotel for awhile but then what? I want him gone but I dont know what else to do. I have no family my mom is a nutso and my sister lives in a 1 bedroom apart with her husband so there is no room there all my other friends live out of town and I dont have the money to move all of us. We live in Az.. So if anyone knows anything I can do please let me know or if I can get him out.
2007-10-18 06:48:36 · update #1
BTW I have been to couseling I have been to marriage couseling I m trying to make it work have been last 2yrs, The judge ordered him to angry mang, and marriage couseling and he refuses.
2007-10-18 06:58:37 · update #2
I'd get the locks changed, it'll be hard for you but remain calm when he comes to the door, don't let him in...He will go crazy, and get his real character will come out and if he get's ballistic then you can call the cops and show the proof of what a crazy he really is. I'd let him do the damage for a change.
Good luck.
2007-10-18 06:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Yummy♥Mummy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If this is the first time this has ever occurred you need to lighten up. He may have needed the break from reality for an evening. You aren't being fair and it seems as though you were looking for an opportunity to shove your control in his face. Don't be suprised if this causes serious problems in the future. The last time I pulled that with my husband, he left me alone with the children for a few weeks. He was not willing to live with a woman that was so headstrong over control of him and the relationship that I actually would lock him out of the hoe without any real cause. It sounds as if your husband was having a nice time with some friends. It does not sound as if he is a womanizer and has had many affairs. For this, you are in the wrong. Why are you treating him as if he is a teenager with a curfew. You are not the woman you wipes his *ss, but the woman who should be making love to him. You said you locked him out at 11:30. Well why mom, if his curfew wasn't over yet. Poor man!
2016-05-23 09:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the court was right. YOU assaulted your husband. YOU should have been arrested so consider yourself lucky. Just because he spits in your face doesn't give you the right to kick and hit him. The court isn't going to grant YOU a restraining order against someone YOU assaulted.
As far as your husband refusing to sign divorce papers, he first has to be SERVED papers. That means you first have to FILE for divorce (You don't NEED his permission to do so). When he is served he has a certain time frame in which to "answer" or respond. If he returns an answer the court proceedings will begin. If he doesn't answer then you will be granted a default decree of divorce. I suggest very strongly that you get a lawyer and keep your anger under control...even if you have to take anger managment classes. Your landlord had no right to tell you to change the locks on the doors because your husband is on the lease and he has every right to return there. Your landlord is simply trying to get you to have the locks changed so that he can evict you BOTH. Before you do anything GET A LAWYER, you 're going to need one.
2007-10-18 16:15:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't pay the rent, then basically he will eventually get kicked out. Only problem is your credit will suffer. How will you even get him out of the apartment or house long enough to even change the locks. You know with the kind of person he is, he will break in anyway and since he lives there the cops won't do anything to him. Maybe the shelter can offer you suggestions as to how to proceed in this matter. He sounds dangerous.
2007-10-18 06:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact a Shelter for Abused Women in your area. These
people have access to a LOT of RESOURCES! The staff
at these shelters have access to attorneys ... and they know
the laws of YOUR state. They will be able to tell you what
your options are and they will "walk you through the process."
You "should" have been documenting your husband's abuse
ALL ALONG ... that way .... You "could" have supported your
case ... when you went to court for "spitting" on him ... That
it was "self-defense." Again the Shelter will give you instructions on how to proceed.
I would NOT continue to put myself or my children in jeopardy
by being around the violence of your husband. You have
a hard road ahead of you. But with the right kind of support
and direction ... YOU CAN MAKE IT!
2007-10-18 07:01:39 · answer #5 · answered by kjh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sweety where is your attorney? You should be able to get him out if your are in the middle of a divorce, and yes, I would change the locks. I don't know if it's illegal, but when he's trying to break down the door call the cops and file charges then. Trust me sweety, there are always ways around everything!!!
2007-10-18 06:51:49 · answer #6 · answered by TootsieGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you can not with out getting in trouble with the cops you are now the one who is going to be viewed as the husband abuser by the cops...... better to file for divorce and leave him..do you have any family you can go to or friends you could stay with? unless he beats the crap out of you and the cops are called in and then now they have proof than yes you could file a restraining order against him...but you do not want for it to go that far...call family and or friends and just get away from him....Good Luck to you
2007-10-18 06:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your own place.
If you are unable to do that perhaps you should reconsider moving in with your mom for a short time. If you are truly out of options and you live in the Phoenix area, in the East Valley, you should try the link below. Email me if you want to know more about it.
2007-10-18 07:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move right now to a shelter, they can help you. While you are there, get counseling for your anger, you can't control his, you have to control yours. They can also help you get a lawyer, you need one. Protect yourself and your children first.
Frankly the police can't care about anyone who keeps accepting the violence and won't let them do their job. Family disputes are the most dangerous and frustrating for police. Don't blame them at this point since you have taken him back repeatedly.
2007-10-18 07:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems the violence is on your part.
You seriously need to see a marriage counselor! the Both of you.
Seriously, since the papers are not signed, you actually have a slight chance of becoming a happy family and marraige again. The question really is, "Are you and him mature and willing enough to be responsible adults and spouses?"
If not, then keep running away, and him too. Your question totally denotes "how can I do something wrong and get away with it?" You guys are fighting, how about trying to forgive?
2007-10-18 06:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋