2 weeks ago my husband called me up and told me he was meeting up with a girl he meet 2 months ago to discuss opening a business together. He has been sneaking out of the house after I go to bed and his cell phone constantly going off with text messages and phone calls from her. He has also got a prepaid cell phone to contact her. Only way I found that out was I found the receipt. They both state they are just good friends. However, on his days off he takes our son over to her house and stays there all day. As soon as I walk out the door or he does, he is on the phone with her or texting her. He swears left and right nothing is happening, that he is in a depressed place and she is someone who listens and talks to him. He won't talk to me about whats wrong and he erases all her text & phone calls so I can't see them. He tells me that I am just jealous and he is doing nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite sex. Any Suggestions. I love him & want to fix any problems
2007-10-18 06:12:09 · 27 answers · asked by BreakingHeart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop the madness...this man is using the oldest game in the cheater rule book. Making you feel like it's all in your head or that you are just jealous and insecure. And you are feeding into this BS and letting your son be a victim along with you. He obviously is cheating and more than emotionally! Why else would he not talk to you about whatever it is, why delete the text meas sages. Anything that he doesn't want you to see is because he KNOWS it's wrong, why else would he hide it. Baby don't be no fool...he does not want you to fix what's wrong otherwise he would be coming to you. Whatever it is he's getting from her...he chooses not to get from you. Don't take it personal...he's the one with problem. He knows how much you love him and he's taking advantage of the situation. And if he loved you the way he should then he would never do anything that would make you so uncomfortable and unsure of yourself by blaming you. Nip it the bud right now and don't dare let your son go with him when he's going to see her. If you don't care about what he does to you, then you should at least care what this is doing to your son to see his mother and father operating like you guys are.
2007-10-18 06:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by Erica D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've gone through the same thing and it was legitimate, but it didn't make me feel very good. I do consider it an emotional affair. As a wife, our husband should talk to us when they need emotional support. We start to feel like the other woman fills some kind of void that we can't. It's not fair. I would be concerned though, that is a lot of talking and time he is spending with her and to take your son to her place, that's just weird. For him to delete the text messages, means he is hiding something. If it really is legitimate, then you should suggest wanting to meet her and if they are considering going into business together, then it should be your business too. If he refuses, then there is something going on. I wouldn't take this anymore if I were you, if there is nothing going on sexually, then he shouldn't have a problem with including you in the friendship. Tell him how you feel and how it's hurting you and making you suspicious. Tell him if he really loves you and wants this marriage to work, he will either include you in the friendship or it's her or you.
2007-10-18 06:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by Perkymo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only imagine how you are feeling right now....Is she still married? I find it very odd that he feels that it is ok with him to be taking this money from her.... Do you think he is seeing her? Besides talking with her all the time? How can you trust a man that will not give up this relationship? It is going to be extremely difficult until and unless he cuts all ties with her. Are the children aware of what has been going on. I truly hope not. If I were you, I would want to know his intentions....why he is accepting the money, why he maintains the contact with her, and if and when is this all going to stop. You sound like you are taking the right steps by confronting him firstly, telling him the trust is gone, and giving him the ultimatum of leaving if this does not stop. Saying he loves you is not enough....Actions speak louder than words in this case. Tell him NO more contact or money from her and make him cut up the card in front of you. He may be just using her to supplement your income, but she may not see it that way. What are her intentions here? Does her husband know? I highly doubt that. I am sure he wouldn't be happy about what she is doing either. Be strong and stand your ground girlfriend....It's either your way or the highway in this case. Tell him you are done with his shenanigans and let the chips fall where they may. You will know his true intentions in time....give him a time frame that you want this done and over by, and tell him if it isn't, you are going to go and confront the husband....that ought to make him take notice.... Good luck hon....you are doing the right thing....make him tell you his true intentions post haste....
2016-05-23 08:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like other than denying it, he has done little to cover over it... He may think because there is no sex yet, he has done nothing wrong...
Emotional affairs happen and at times you are not even looking for it to, thinking it wont get out of control when clearly it may...
You sound so sweet, do you really want to live like that? Your his wife, his comfort should come from you... Talk to him openly and also with yourself be honest...
Anything can be fixed when broken but your heart too has to really want to fix it...
I am learning nothing should ever come above my husband... He is very special to me, and he deserves to know so... IF you have always been there for him, then he is really crossing a fine line...
Search your heart for the answers... As well as his... ♥
Marriage is a lot of work, husbands and wives should never forget to nurture it with loving care...♥
2007-10-18 06:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Hibiscus Lips♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can speak from both points of view, I also have friends that are male that I love talking to about things and problems that I cant talk to my fiancee about. Or I can but its nice to have someone to talk to. male or female we are allowed to have friends. But the fact the he wont allow you to read them should give you an indication that there might be things he is hiding. I have chat friends and phone friends that I talk to but NEVER .. EVER do I keep those converstations away from my fiancee.
Yes some discussions if read he could take the wrong way but I made sure the friends i have know that im faithful and dont want more then friends. So if she is truely a friend then he wont mind you two talking as well. If he has and issue with you speaking to her then there clearly is more going on.
But if he insists then its a good chance she is a chat buddy.
ON another note my opinion is he needs to redirect some time to his family and his wife... and you need to be the one to tell him that.
Good luck sweety *hugz*
2007-10-18 06:18:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's cheating on you or planning to sweetie. If she was just a female friend, he wouldn't have different cell hpones for her and wouldn't be erasing messages. He also shouldn't be having that much contact with her when you're not around. It's not like she's a life long friend, he just met her. Insist that he go to counseling and if he doesn't, move out. You shouldn't be made a fool of like that and if you continue to believe his lies, he's gonna take advantage of you. If he has depressed feelings, he should be talking to YOU, not another woman.
2007-10-18 06:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a marriage counselor. Your husband may be depressed but he should be going to you for support. Business partners don't do this on their free time. The prepaid cell phone was a good sign that he may be cheating. I wish you and your family the best of luck.
2007-10-18 06:21:02 · answer #7 · answered by foodieness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya not an emotional affair... He's having a physical affair! If he wasn't he wouldn't be so secretively w/ everything... U need to tell him if he's depressed he's suppose to talk to u about it not some other girl... U 2 are the only 1's that can work out ur marriage so u need to remove the homewrecker!!
2007-10-18 06:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by NONAME 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is so hard, you are so tough for dealing with this from someone you have child with! I personally dont think my mad needs a friend of the opposite sex unless they were friends forever and never had sexual relations. I also feel that if there is nothing between him and this woman and their relationship is strictley business then he should not erase anything they have talked about.
This is really up to you, can you handle calling her and finding out the truth either its cheating or they are really friends? Or trying to pry it out of him? This is so hard and my heart goes out to you, loving someone who is or has betrayed you is the hardest thing to deal with....
2007-10-18 06:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When men say nothing is happening , what they really mean is they haven't got the other person in the sack, YET. But that is exactly where he is heading and I don't know if there is anything you can do to stop it. Get really selfish and take care of yourself so you won't be left in the dust. You may have to give him up altogether, or you may renegotiate your marriage, You are NOT going crazy, it's the dishonesty that makes us crazy. Lies always make us crazy, but when we are young we do not understand what is going on.......When we are older we still don't understand it all but at least we have learned to trust our own selves. Men still lie to women in order to try and have their cake and eat it too, so to speak.
2007-10-18 06:22:34 · answer #10 · answered by Fauna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋