My husband had an affair about a year ago with a "friend" of mine. It lasted a couple of months and, after she confessed to me, they both said it was over. He has been quite distant from me ever since. He went astray 20 years ago and I thought we'd gotten past this kind of thing.
He threatened to simply pack up and leave the state a week ago.
My big question is that since our daughter is to be married in a few months, should I hold off divorcing him until then or just get it over with?
2007-10-18 05:33:07 · 11 answers · asked by Spots^..^B4myeyes 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you can't get divorced tomorrow you have to wait 90 days and IF you guys agree on stuff then you will get divorced, but it can be dragged on for months and months.
2007-10-18 06:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by shorte716 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has been quite distant from you for several months he may not fight the divorce so you can go ahead and file and keep that low key until after the marriage. If he doesn't fight it, the divorce may be over by the time of the wedding. You do want to try to remain civil to each other though for the sake of the daughter who is getting married
2007-10-18 12:42:04 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just get it over with. I am assuming your daughter is a grown woman, since she is getting married so i'm sure she's not naive about what's going on. Why continue in a relationship that is headed nowhere, esp. if he is being distant from you. That's a clear cut sign that he wants it to be over, and "threatening" to leave you should leave no doubt in your mind. Hell, help him pack and put his sh!t on the doorstep.
If you were trying to stay married to remain cordial during your daughter's wedding that's understandable, but being married and unhappy and faking it is a lot worse than parting ways and having no regrets about your decision to do so. No one is perfect and some relationships don't last. Anyone who is a mature adult can understand that and therefore your decision shouldn't have any negative affects on your daughter's relationship or marriage. Stay strong and know that you deserve better!
And that woman that is your so-called friend that your husband cheated on you with: I hope you kicked her a$$ to the curb too!
2007-10-18 12:45:07 · answer #3 · answered by ebonyroseseven 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Not to be crass.....but here goes.....who is supposed to be paying for the wedding??
If the two of you are planning on footing the bill, stay with him until he settles that debt.
That may not sound nice, but reality doesn't always play nice.
Unless him being "quite distant" is really upsetting you, wait and set up an appointment with an attorney while your daughter is away on her honeymoon.
I think I'd definately avoid the "friend".
Good Luck
2007-10-18 12:52:36 · answer #4 · answered by Grannie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you can talk to your daughter openly about the situation, you might consider seeing what she thinks, if her wedding is your main consideration as to when you get a divorce. You are basically divorced already. If it's really important to your daughter to have you "together" for her marriage, and you don't mind the role playing for her sake, wait. If your husband is threatening to just leave, and that will devastate your daughter, she and he should have a talk about how that will affect her.
2007-10-18 12:39:57 · answer #5 · answered by surlygurl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that would be difficult,,how bout u just separate from him now,,and legally divorce a bit later,,u love ur daughter so that's why u don't want to ruin the happiest day of her life,,ur a great mom,,i'd go ahead and ask ur daughter what she thinks,,
u'd be surprised she probably knows u and ur husband aren't happy and she would probably rather see her mom happy than to be treated like a door mat,,
i mean,,he's willing to pick and leave,,the jerk obiviously doesn't care,,i'd at least legally seperate,,so u can be happy on ur daughter's wedding day,,
2007-10-18 12:55:20 · answer #6 · answered by lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to my daughter honestly without too many personal details about what's going on.
I would tell her that you want her to include her father in her wedding because this has nothing to do with her wedding....but that you can no longer live with him.
Then you should make him leave.
2007-10-18 12:43:26 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
for your daughter sake I would stay.... than leave after. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-10-18 12:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get it over with. No point putting yourself through more than you have to!!! Your daughter will HOPEFULLY understand :)
2007-10-18 12:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by aimster2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait til her wedding....then take him for everything he has ever made.
What a stupid azz cheating like that.....
2007-10-18 12:37:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋