ok, please read this and tell me what you think, i know it is long but hopefully you'll enjoy it and let me know if you want more. ok? ok.
Chapter 1
The rooster crowed loudly and signaled the beginning of another day. It was dark out but that was to be expected on a farm like ours. An early start in the morning and late nights before resting peacefully in our beds was always our routine in my somewhat Amish family.
I yawned and tumbled out of my bed to the small candle that sat on the far corner of my old oak desk. Carefully lighting a match, I caught the small wick on fire and my cupboard of a room was instantly illuminated. Brilliant shadows danced on my wooden walls. It was as if a tiny world inhabited of people made entirely of flame danced along to some ritual song that was silent to the people in my world.
Each step I took towards the small trunk that contained all my clothes made my floor boards moan with distaste. Opening it, I took out my favorite green work
2007-10-18 04:37:16 · 10 answers · asked by ♥Blood Rose♥ 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
dress, black apron, and equally as black bonnet. I could smell the delicious bacon that my Mama was cooking in the kitchen as I got dressed. Why hadn’t she waked me this mornin’?
It was my responsibility to help out in the kitchen and with all the other womanly duties here in this household and I had slept late! Now in a rush, I slid into my dress and pulled on my 1800’s style boots, lacing up the laces quickly. I ran into the kitchen with a great deal of haste, even though it was just a few paces away from my bedroom door.
Mama didn’t seem to notice my late arrival for she did not look up from her bowl of flapjack mix that she was currently stirring. I strode over to her with the greatest of ease I could manage and kissed her cheek.
“Sorry, Mama. I didn’t mean to sleep late. Is there anything that needs to be done?”
She looked up at me with a vibrant smile.
“No, dear child. I purposely let you sleep late. You’s been workin’ so hard lately that I figured a growin’ sev
2007-10-18 04:40:42 · update #1
srry, i would add more but it has issues with letting me. it keeps saying, "You have exceeded your character limit."
lol, and, yes, farm life is part of what it is about and thank you for taking the time to read it and making suggestions.
2007-10-18 04:43:52 · update #2
*giggles to self* thanks for your kind words everyone!
2007-10-18 05:00:39 · update #3
"It was as if a tiny world inhabited of people made entirely of flame danced along to some ritual song that was silent to the people in my world." - Love this description, beautiful imagery!
Would love to read a bit more, to start establishing a bit of a plot etc, but the Amish idea is intriguing and I'd be interested to read more of it! Keep at it, nice work :)
2007-10-18 04:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by veggie_fta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are a few of these other people thinking? Clearly they've grown entirely too skeptical and critical. As an experienced educator with a Master's degree, I can honestly say that the work is excellent!
2007-10-18 04:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by DJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very interesting. I like your description of the flame. I'm curious why it's a "somewhat Amish" family. It sounds like a good start to an interesting book.
2007-10-18 04:42:28 · answer #3 · answered by geniphurb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay. It depends on what the story is about. I mean, if it is about aliens attacking New York with a plan to kill all of the sasquatches, then no, it's not okay. But if it is about like a farm life and how to live it or something like that, then it is just fine. Liked the detail.
2007-10-18 04:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by UhOhKid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I had a type of human beings at paintings. I only advised her that i'm truly too busy with my own paintings to chit-chat and that i did no longer think of it may be liked by skill of the boss if he/she walked by skill of and found out he grew to become into paying the two human beings to speak/*****. or you may desire to direct her to the guy who might desire to help her along with her problems with suggestions from asserting "i in my opinion won't be able to do something approximately your headset, why do no longer you ask John, he could be waiting to furnish you a sparkling one." only shop directing her that way and at last she could end badgering you and confer with those that are greater waiting to assist her issues.
2016-10-13 01:52:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad....just work on the word flow a bit.
2007-10-18 04:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by Calm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked it . You painted a picture with words.
2007-10-18 04:42:05 · answer #7 · answered by kathy s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kept my interest and I want to know more....
2007-10-18 04:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by KaseyT33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's no bukowski,but i've read worse stuff.
2007-10-18 04:40:41 · answer #9 · answered by kman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good
2007-10-18 04:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by sum142121 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋