My friend has been dating this guy that none of us like. She fights with him a lot, but I believe for the most part she is happy. And honestly, that's all that matters - that she is happy and in love. But he uses disgusting language towards her (c-word synonym for female anatomy) and generally he is anti-social when hanging out with everyone. He does not like her friends (us) and we don't like him, even though we have tried very hard to accomodate him and get to know him. He has a shady past and we all feel should could honestly do MUCH better. It's putting a strain on everyone. What do you do if your friend is dating someone so clearly wrong for them and being supportive isn't working?
2007-10-18 04:26:50 · 20 answers · asked by mjm13186 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
There is nothing you can do. Give her your support. You can tell her how you feel, but unless she decides she doesn't want to be with this guy, nothing you say will make a difference. When it comes to this type of thing, it's live and learn. She has to figure it out herself.
Try to put yourself in her shoes. When your with a guy you love and he means the world to you, ( aside from you consider some "quirks"), nobody can tell you different. Not your parents, friends, or even the cops. You have to learn for yourself, unfortunately, it means her having her heart broken first. Sorry. But you can do your part by being her friend, and being there for her when she needs you the most.
2007-10-18 04:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by hawt2trawt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to your friend and expres your concern towards his attitude (avoiding the words: we dont like him) and just see if she has any explination.
As a shy boyfriend myself fitting in with groups of friends (who are already established with the girl your with) can be REALLY REALLLY intimidating and he could just be really shy. Can't say I have an explination for the unnesscary language -- but if shes happy try and compremise, go out to the movies (where he, she, you all can't talk) and afterwards you all can chat about the film (which should avoid any converstaional awarkwardness).
If you are generally worried about her, her relationship and his effect on it, she will apprecate some honest input (if put delicatly).
I mean, if one of my partners friends had a problem with me or I had offended them in some way i'd want to know -- perhaps the course language and bad attitude is just a way of covering his intimidation? (though don't quote me on that :) )
2007-10-18 04:34:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this same problem with my friend, but arguing with her and him only make their feeling for one another stronger. Yes, that's your friend but she will have to learn the hard way he is going to do something one day to make her feel way below he going to do more then what he is doing now so either she get it now or she will learn the hard way. Sorry to say
2007-10-18 04:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by Hollister Chic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To decide anothers fate based on you or even others opinions would be a greivious wrong...if he is all that you say, I'm sure your girlfried will come to her sences in time.
Either that or you could always bury him in the back fourty.
2007-10-18 04:32:49 · answer #4 · answered by vitraux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be frank
Its high time you guys had a frank chat with your friend, this guy from what you say sounds like a jerk.
If you really care for you friend please speak to her and explain it to her future is in jeopardy if she continues with her relationship,
Find out what makes her to like this guy and if it something really special that he has then it's of no use in speaking to her
but if its any other thing just make her understand its not worth it
2007-10-18 04:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by Prince 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do (sadly) if you try to break things up between them, she will resent you and you will lose her as a friend hand in there she will tire of him eventually, you can however tell him that you find the c-word offensive and ask him not to use it around you how rude!
2007-10-18 04:35:09 · answer #6 · answered by Susan C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over yourselves and let her learn her own lessons.
The fact that you can command respect from the men in your life is an important one people just have to learn on their own.
If you don't want to be around him, then don't. If you don't want to talk about him, then leave it lie. She will figure it out on her own.
2007-10-18 04:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he seems abusive, please talk to her about it and tell her that she deserves better. If you simply just don't like him, then that is another story. Either way, there is really nothing you can do to make her leave this guy. It's something she must decided on her own.
2007-10-18 04:31:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you let her know constantly, but in a nice way, that her choice isn't that great...
it IS your business, because she's your friend. remember, a true friend doesn't always have to say yes to everything that her friend is doing even if it's wrong just to make her happy.
it's like when your friend says, "should i kill myself?" and you say, "yes, if that makes you happy." heartless, right?
2007-10-18 04:37:43 · answer #9 · answered by =concerned citizen= 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel and tell her,if you want to be treated that way,fine.Tell her that if this is going to ruin your relationship with her,then fine.Tell her also that you are there for her when that man isn't.
2007-10-18 04:30:58 · answer #10 · answered by Princess 101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋