My husband moved out about 2 months ago and now has a checking account, cell phone and lease with his ex-wife. They were not friends til I left town for a week. Now, he wants to reconcile, but wants me to be okay with their friendship. Am I wrong in saying that I can't do that? All of it was done behind my back, including them becoming friends. When I left, they hated each other.
2007-10-18 04:24:10 · 27 answers · asked by mystique56 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am also 4 months pregnant with his child. They don't actually live together, her parents would never allow it. She just has a key to his place because he was driving over the road so she would keep an eye on the house.
2007-10-18 04:33:43 · update #1
Um, yeah. Do you really need anyone to tell you to leave them both in your dust as you blow out of town and that relationship?
This didn't start just when you left. You are just now seeing the truth of the situation.
2007-10-18 04:29:10 · answer #1 · answered by sfcgijill 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO!!!! You do not have to accept this crap and if it were me I would be mad as hell to. What is wrong with this man? What in the world is he not thinking here? What a dirty rotten deal your husband has dealt you!!! I am sorry but men like this are just not right.....how insulting and disrespectfull is this? Well I am here to say...and you already know Their divorce happend between them because it didn't work the first time why would he even think it would work the second time? Those problems are still there and who the hell are they fooling? They are both stupid and deserve each other and thats the bottom line! How horrible his character must be to let you care for him and treat your emotions like they are nothing here. You deserved more out of life than getting caught up with someone that doesn't even know what he wants in life. Some people are good liars and cheats and take advantage of good hearted people. He had no right to stab you in the back like that and expect you to be ok with any of this! I would never be able to get over this kind of betrayal and for him to ever think that he deserved my trust again! He had no right to marry you still confused about his feelings for his ex and make you believe that he hated her. Well, you see now there was no truth in that and I would be humiliated to no end. If you thought that things were good with him before you left for one week ..what will he do to you when he thinks he really has a problem with you. I would say hell no to this and never give him the chance to think he can be right and break my heart again. He is not commited to you and he is still a deceitfull liar if he says this to you now! I would get a good divorce lawyer and pack his things and dump them on the lawn of the apatment that he co signed a lease on with his ex wife.
2007-10-18 05:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound good at all. It looks like they are still inlove with each and had a spat. I know it hurts, but it's the truth. No one can stand between love. NO ONE. And a baby won't help it neither. Some men are asssholes and abandon their own child just to be with the woman they love. Now why does he have a check accnt cell phone and a lease to what i might ask? For crying out loud they are EX'S!!!!! And if all of this was done while you were out of town, they may have made love too. Stay strong and always pay attention in your next relationship. This is horrible.
2007-10-18 04:38:20 · answer #3 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, this didn't happen overnight, or in a week. So, the term is cheating. And deceiving. The descriptive phrase would be scummy, or lousy. Why does this form a basis for any type of friendship? Your husband obviously expects you to accept that his betrayal isn't betrayal. OK. So, you SHOULD accept their relationship. That doesn't AT ALL mean you should like it, or feel anything but contempt and loathing for your hubby, and his new again ex. It just means that it's a fact, and facts should be accepted. File for divorce ASAP. Forget the jerk. Finally, this only applies IF you didn't originally get involved with your husband while he was with that ex. If that is what happened, then I find your plight amusing, and can only say "What did you expect when YOU did exactly the same thing?"
2007-10-18 04:42:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should consider counseling. Sounds like there are some underlying issues here besides just the ex. You probably had problems before the ex came along right? So, add her to the mix and it is just making it worse right??. But keep in mind, she is not the main problem, she is of course part of it the problem now though.
See a marriage counselor or consider it, insurance covers these sessions. You owe to yourself to get the truth and speak the truth to this man. Ask that he not have contact with her until you work your own issues out. She should not be involved until you have a strong understanding of one another and commitment to eachother. And odds are, once you reach this level....she won't even be part of the life you both share.
Work on eachother first, and ask for what you want and would appreciate during this time; that she and him back off of eachother right now and you are uncomfortable. If he doesn't respect this, he is not respecting you.
2007-10-18 04:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by Tiff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your no longer stupid....you're being a classic spouse. Your husband is misguided here. that's an ex-female chum, no longer in simple terms a woman chum he had till now he met you. you have been affected person or maybe tried to be her chum and she or he blew you off, what are you meant to think of? the certainty that your husband might even combat with you approximately this and say your jealous supplies me project so it truthfully ought to grant you project. i'm particular no longer something is going on yet its no longer a solid state of affairs... it makes you uncomfortable and your husband could appreciate that and end the friendship. what's the purpose of the friendship besides????? He could difficulty approximately his marriage falling aside because of the fact of his hiding this friendship, procuring infant presents (that's atypical to me) and letting the certainty this woman blew off your friendship bypass unoticed...... you have each and every precise to be pissed and jealousy is a small area of it... its the disrespect for you that your no longer pleased with... precise???? If it have been me, i might tell my husband that its me or the friendship and then i might know the place I stood. If he relatively helps this to reason subjects, then he nevertheless loves her.... sorry.
2016-10-04 02:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he need your approval to be with his ex-wife, if he's left you? Sorry, but he sounds like a jerk. He became "friends" with his ex behind your back--$20 says they're more than friends if they're living together. Tell him that he lost the right to dictate or even care about how you do or do not feel about him and his relationships the day he walked out of your life.
2007-10-18 04:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is doing is completely wrong. Did he move about b/c he wanted his EX back or did u throw him out? Either way i would communicate with him and let him know it's either you or her and that his EX is an EX for a reason.If he loves you enough and wants your marriage to work hopefully after talking with him the light bulb might go on or you will have to just move on there are plenty of fish in the sea. Best of Luck!!
2007-10-18 04:32:10 · answer #8 · answered by Virgo Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong for feeling the way you feel but it sounds like more than what it is....He has done alot in two months with his "ex-wife" then he has done working out his marriage with you....Its great that he found a way to be amicable with her for whatever reasons why he couldn't be before but you are in his life and bearing his child...He needs to get his priorities in order and decide what it is that is most important here and to HIM....That is something you shouldn't have to answer for him or be okay with....
2007-10-18 04:42:11 · answer #9 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He moved out. What does it matter if you like an ex or not? Sounds like you are hurt and he betrayed a trust. He has moved on and you should do the same. Obviously the biggest power you can wield is to become an ex.
2007-10-18 04:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by bullheadbrawlers2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋