My husband lies to me, it's never anything really huge, but it is affecting my trust. He says that his ex calls him to go out for a beer, but he called her...little things like this, he started a fake email address, when I asked, he lied. I catch him and then he tells me truth (I think). I don't think that I can trust him anymore, I'm losing respect for him, and it's like I am waiting for him to screw up again. When someone lies about the little things, is that warning signals for the future? We've only been married 2 years, no kids.
2007-10-18 04:18:54 · 40 answers · asked by Earth 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, I feel for you. Have you ever just had a heart to heart with him to see if you can find out what causes him to lie. There are those that lie for the sake of lying. It is a habit.
Or is he really trying to hide something? this is something you will have to figure out first let him know how it is affecting your relationship.
Hopefully he will care enough to try harder.
2007-10-18 04:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by rjm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't lead a happy life constantly worrying that your husband is up to something. Perhaps he is. If you can't trust him by now after two years of marriage, then I would say your in for a bumpy ride. He shows you no respect by lying to you, and of course you must be constantly worried. Anyway why should he be going out with his ex for a beer, what respect is that showing towards you. I think women have this gut feeling when things aren't right, and I think you have it. Only you can decide what you are going to do. One could recommend guidance counselling and other avenues of help, but unless he admits there is a problem you will continue to be used as a doormat, and if that's what you choose to be then so be it. I personally would not stand for any of that nonsense from a partner of mine, they would have been shown the door a long time ago. You have every right to be happy in this life and No one has the right to treat you with the contempt that your husband is showing to you---I mean who does he think he is playing with your feelings and emotions like that. He needs to wake up and realise how good he has it. Good luck anyway.
2007-10-18 04:28:52 · answer #2 · answered by Dr Paul D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is meeting his ex for drinks and you think that is a little lie? Also what is he calling her for? You are not married long and are having to many issues? He apparently shows no respect for you by calling her and then telling you.
Lies should not be in any relationship unless he was telling a lie to get you out of the house and was taking you to a surprise party. I suggest you put your foot down and find out if he wants to be married to you and is ready to stop the drama or if he wants out of the marriage. Better you know now rather then after the kids and your stuck.
I am sorry I have to much pride to put up with what you are dealing with. If my husband ever pulled this the locks would be changed and his clothes would be in garbage bags out by the curb. No one respects a door Matt.
2007-10-18 04:27:12 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He lied about his ex calling him to go out for a beer, when he called her? That is not a little lie. Why does he want to go for drinks with his ex when he is married to you?
It sounds like he is cheating on you, maybe with his ex. I see every reason for you to lose trust in him.
I think all of the warning signs are there. It is time to get a divorce or if possible an annulment.
Take care,
Troy
2007-10-18 04:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, He should not need to lie to you, unless he is hiding something. You are right when someone lies about little things they lead to bigger lies. And why on earth would he want to meet up with his ex to go out for a beer? you are right not to trust him i wouldn't trust him either. You have to sit down and think about this one, do you want your relationship based on lies not knowing if he can be trusted or not. Ask him why he feels he has to lie to you, because lets face it if he has to lie then you will never trust him, without trust you have nothing. I would rather have a thief than a liar you can catch a thief, a liar takes longer to catch out because they become really convincing at lying.
2007-10-18 04:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by kevina p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. When someone lies, it's to hide something (whether that something be good or bad). Typically, lies are used to avoid facing any punishment for certain behaviors that the offendor believes they will be punished for. Self-preservation mechanism, if you will. I would be concerned with a husband that is hanging out with an ex-girlfriend. When there is a marriage covenant/vows that have taken place, it's important, while not being constrictive, to remember that respect needs to be given to the other party involved.
2007-10-18 04:25:09 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband and I have been married 10 years and I catch him more and more lying to me lately. We have a 7 year old. I do concider it a warning sign when you can't trust your husband no further than you can throw him. I too have lost respect for my husband, trust, and even love. I'm ready to walk out because i'm tired of all the lies. good luck to ya.
2007-10-18 04:23:12 · answer #7 · answered by jean d 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds as though he still has a thing for his ex or he is trying to make you jelouse. Yes lying can be a problem and if he gets away with it he will continue to lie and then start to believe his own lies. You need to either go to marriage counceling or get out. It just will get worse and worse believe me. My first husband was a liar like that so I know.
2007-10-18 04:23:05 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get out now. If he is starting this already it is going to only get worse. It sounds like he has self issues and is using them against you. I think you would be better off on your own looking for that mr right. I know being alone is hard, i am one of those, but in the long run you have more self respect and then others notice it. Men like women that will stick up for themselves and not let anyone walk on them. He is walking all over you and you will be better off without him
2007-10-18 04:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by jenniferk5683 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loss in trust starts somewhere, its a big sign to get out before you have children! If you can't trust him to tell you about an email address what else is he lying to you about? When you catch him, he isn't telling you the truth, he is covering his tracks. I wouldn't be surprised if he is cheating, why lie if he wasn't? Leave on your terms, don't wait till it ends on his terms. Good luck, don't waste your love on someone you can't trust.
2007-10-18 04:25:54 · answer #10 · answered by chefck26 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋