Ex is uncooperative with child's extracirrucular activities?

Question

I have full custody of my daughter. The court visitation schedule says my ex is supposed to pick her up every two weeks on Fridays at 1800. He doesn't want to get her until Saturdays at 0900, which I have allowed for her benefit. My daughter now wants to participate in cheerleading from 0900-1000 on Saturday mornings. Her father refuses to support that and says he will be there to get her at 0900 and will call the police if she's not there. My daughter says she doesn't want to go with him if he won't come later. She sees how unfair he is and how he uses her to get back at me for leaving him. She's 8, but she's not blind or stupid. I feel like it should be up to her in this case. She doesn't do a lot of extra activities and I think parents should be supportive of their kids. What should I do? Do I tell her she can't participate in the activity and she has to go with her dad, or do I tell her to make the decision about what she wants to do this time?

alanastarkey...It's true he only sees her twice a month...that's HIS choice. I've told him he can have her every weekend, during the week, whenever...as long as it doesn't interfere with school. I want what's best for her...and children need to do physical activity and things they enjoy. He does things to be intentionally difficult...she sees that without me saying a word.

Answer 1

I think he should work with you as you have with him....He is the one who is suppose to pick her up on Fridays and he does not...You have compromised with him and its not for the sake of your child but for the benefit of him....So I don't understand why he can't compromise with you for his daughter...I think if this continues to create a hassle for you, I would tell him then he needs to pick up your daughter on the Fridays like it is stated and if not you are going back to court to challenge the change...It's amazing how much divorce can change a parents priorities....I feel very much for you and your child but, I am a firm believer in standing your ground....You are the active parent here sometimes you have to do what you know to be best....Reguardless, of anything....I wish you all the best with this....

Answer 2

DO NOT allow an eight year old to make decisions like this.

I hope you can convince your ex to support his daughters wish to do cheerleading. He can pick her up and TAKE her to cheerleading. It will be fun for both of them.

But ultimately if he refuses, do NOT let your daughter say that she won't go with him. FFS, just find an activity that she can do on "your" time.

I know that many NCP feel resentful and put-upon when the CP scheduels an activity during visitation time. They feel like the CP is stealing time away from them. Your ex only sees this kid twice a month. Please don't allow this small difference in opinion to take away from that.

Ultimately spending time with dad is more important than a cheerleading class.

Answer 3

okay you need to call your attorney and let him or her know what is going on . Why cant he see how your daughter loves cheerleading and he take her to that activity ? he needs to get the stick out of his butt and start being a real dad . Real dads support their kids extra cirricular activities. I would haul his butt to court and let the daughter tell the judge that she does not want to go with her dad untill after cheerleading . Your ex has a problem . good luck .

Answer 4

you daughter has an activity she enjoys, thats wonderful, he needs to get the burr out of his butt and pony up some fatherhood.