it's been 10yrs already when i found out that my husband cheated me...and he told me face to face that he loves "her" more than he loves me.After then,i don't even mention the name of that "girl" or even the whole story until now.But it really hurts!Really!Pls need your help.
2007-10-18 03:43:29 · 14 answers · asked by magic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IN LIFE WE ARE PUT THROUGH MANY TESTS AND TRYING TIMES. IN TODAYS WORLD ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE EMOTIONALLY. UNFORTUNATELY WE WOMEN WERE MADE TO BE EMOTIONAL RECKS. MY DARLING THE PAIN WILL NEVER GO AWAY AS LONG AS YOU DONT STOP BLAMING YOURSELF. REMEMBER HE BROKE THE VOWS HE HAS NO FEAR FOR GOD. YOU ON THE OTHER HAND IS AN ANGEL PROTECTED BY THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!
HE LOVES YOU AND THAT IS THE REASON HE TOOK YOU AWAY FROM THE DEVIL! ITS NOT THAT YOU WERE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM BUT THAT HE WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! DONT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF AND MOST IMPORTANTLY DONT GIVE UP ON GOD! YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IT BUT HE IS THERE NOW AND HE WAS ALWAYS THERE BEFORE HE HAS NEVER LEFT U ALONE AND HE NEVER WILL! FORGIVE THEM AND EXCEPT IT AS A STEPPING STONE! LET THIS BE THE STEROID THAT MAKES U BIGGER IN YOUR HEART AND HOME! LIVE YOUR LIFE KNOWING THAT GOD LOVES YOU AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS! ALL THE BEST!!!!
2007-10-18 04:29:36 · answer #1 · answered by DRIFT QUEEN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw Hazel, take heart...I don't know how to help you but I wish that I did know how to....I think the majority of us have been hurt by a loved one in some way or another...And it is hard to forget. You know the saying "time heals all wounds"? Well maybe your wound needs a bit more time. Believe me when I say that I know what you are going through because I too went through the same thing many, many years ago. I thought that I would never get over it. But I did get over it. And you will too. You have to believe that and keep on going day after day after day until that day comes. Smile, God loves you.
2007-10-18 11:18:55 · answer #2 · answered by Fergy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think differently about the situation. First of all, he cheated on you!! Yeah he may have told you straight up but its the fact. Relax. This will go away. Forgive him and let him go just as he did you. I know it hurts. I've been through the same thing. It SUCKED!!! But then I woke up one morning and realized that I'm still alive and doing well. I realized that if it came down to it, all I would really need is me. Life go a lot easier and the pain was too. You can get over it!!!
2007-10-18 10:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by AF 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't put him on a pedestal. He is scum. My ex was so abusive that I finally through him out and filed for divorce. Only at that time, did I find out that he had been cheating all through the marriage. Just made him more of a loser in my eyes. Well, guess what happened? He ended up marrying the woman he had been cheating with when I through him out. (He only married her because I married someone else). He ended up cheating on her (big surprise!) and then left HER for someone else. Your husband doesn't deserve you. When you think of him, just remember what kind of lowlife he is and how much better you can do. Good Luck!!!
2007-10-18 10:50:52 · answer #4 · answered by Lioness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you aren't still with him. You need to move on and love someone that will appreciate you. You will never forget something like that but you can move on from it in so many different ways. I would say stick with him but I don't know what the whole situation is about.
2007-10-18 10:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by level_9yo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're still with him. If so, then kudos to you for sticking it out for 10 years later! I bet you have learned the real meaning of "loving your husband".
Has he been faithful for the past 10 years to you? That needs answering.
But to address your need to "forget", the brain is funny in this regard. Negatively impacting experiences stick in the brain proabably about 10 times easier and deeper than positive experiences.
"Beauty for ashes". One very powerful way to fade the negative memories, is the replace them with many new, positive ones. When you're alone, or in a state that it's easy to dwell or recall old feelings, it's hard.
So make dates with your husband. Go OUT and do lots of activities that you both enjoy. Activities that are physical, not watching movies or similar. Activitites that require your attention to the activity and to each other to participate. Get lots of laughter, good times, fun times, and by all means necessary, do everything possible to gain closeness.
If you have a closeness, then open up to him so he can help you heal from the wounds. Remember, you're in this together, forever.
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But if you're not with him anymore, than forgiveness is necessary at this point. You won't forget, but you can learn how to forgive, and the bitterness and pain will decrease tremendously. Also, the rule still applies, add more fun, happy and positive experiences right now.
2007-10-18 10:53:25 · answer #6 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I hope you left him. If he's over you and the marriage, it's time to move on. It's difficult, but unless you make the move to change your life, it won't change.
Recognize that you married a stranger. I'm sure that when you were saying your vows, you couldn't possibly imagine that your husband would break them. I'm guessing you wouldn't have married him if you knew then, what you know now.
Good luck and be strong. I promise, it will get better.
2007-10-18 10:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you are still with this man, then of course it will still hurt you because you see him everyday...he is there and you are reminded everyday of this women...
i think that you will never be able to forget something like this and its very obvious that you havent after 10 years.
honey you are only hurting yourself you need to get out of this relationship...please because more health problems come when the person (you) doesnt let their feelings show...dont keep hurting yourself...
hope you find the answer you were searching for
2007-10-18 10:55:10 · answer #8 · answered by Mia ღ AJ ღ Faithy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It has only been 5 years for me, and it still hurts like yesterday. We just have to keep looking forward. One day at a time.Stay busy and hopefully, someday, we will forget. take care.
2007-10-18 10:48:53 · answer #9 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he ever earned your forgiveness. If you're still with him, tell him neither side of the forgiveness took place and it's time for counseling. If you're not still with him, it's time for you to pick up your self esteem. That may also require a counselor
2007-10-18 10:48:35 · answer #10 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋