going out with my friends is something a hardly ever do, i have been mairried for 2 years and only been out maybe 2 times and thats on birthdays with friends. i would love for my husband to come with me but he dosnt want to. my problam is it really not a deel with him to go to a boob bar until i go out of town. i leave friday afternoon and now he and his buddys are hinting around that they want to go. like i said why when im goin? and why cant i go out with my friends. what should i say or does anyone have anything to say about this?
2007-10-18 03:09:01 · 18 answers · asked by sunshine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
am i acting like a Bit**, or do i have reason to feel weard?
2007-10-18 03:10:07 · update #1
Questions like this make me glad I am 33 and my man is 42...we are SO past this immature crap.
First off, if HE can go out with friends, so can you!
He is the man, he is the husband, he is the leader. A leader leads by example. If its ok for HIM, its Ok for YOU!!!!
End of story.
2007-10-18 03:14:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is seriously damaging your marriage by his behavior and I wouldn't hold any bars telling him so. He took vows to love you, honor you and cherish you and to forsake all others before you. He is breaking all four of those vows. This isn't a question of fairness.
If it weren't so horrible, it might really get his goat to 'go out of town' and show up at the bar he is going to - as a dancer! Maybe then he would get the point.
Sorry, you are married to an immature man. You can point out to him that he is hurting you but in all likelihood he will want to continue what he is doing and just get mad at you. At least you will have had your say. But he shouldn't be able to continue without consequences. So decide what they are and follow through. He obviously doesn't think your feelings on this issue are important, so don't give this issue more importance than he does, and go out when you want to. Nobody is asking you to turn into a floozie, but if he can do whatever he wants in regards to going out and where he goes, then you can too. And you can start to give it more importance when he does.
Remain honorable, be respectful when you deliver this message, but deliver it none the less.
2007-10-18 03:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would lay down the law, there is no reason you can't go out with your friends. And he needs to stop controlling you. Don't worry about the titty bar thing, nothing happens there anyway. They can only look. But I would get real and tell him he's not allowed to go out just like your not.
2007-10-18 03:23:08 · answer #3 · answered by Maria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are married does not mean you are a prisoner. If he goes to strip clubs there should absolutely be no reason why you cannot go to a bar with your friends. You need to get out and have fun.
2007-10-18 03:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by vaya 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You are right to say that if you dont go out then he shouldnt go out especially to those types of places. I have been to those places and all I see is sad old men trying to get excited over something they cant have. Its sickening so if that is what he wants out of life then you need to get rid of this loser and find someone that wants to be with you and only you. I know it sounds impossible but there are guys out there that are not pigs they are just a little harder to find. In my opinion that is a form of cheating on your wife so take this for what its worth and get the hell out.
2007-10-18 05:21:07 · answer #5 · answered by jenniferk5683 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband not your father. Why is he telling what you can and can not do? He can say what he would like for you not to do but not TELL you you can't do it... Tell him that you are a grown woman and you ARE going with your friends. His going to a boobie bar when you are out of town sounds very suspicious to me. Why does he get to do what he wants but has rules for you? Put a stop to this now!
2007-10-18 03:18:17 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
uh, are you KIDDING me?! Girl tell him "fine i'm not gonna go to a bar with my friends, we just found a great male strip club and I'm already here." See how that makes him feel. I bet he will stop going to strip clubs and find that he has NO problem with you going to a normal one. Good luck girl. You're not a prisoner have your fun too!
2007-10-18 03:34:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are free to do what you want..
But let me say onething..
As a wife try to maintain the family life..
Try to understand why is he banning you from going to bars..
If the problem is reasonable find solution..
If you run away from your husband out of a problem..
You may not be able to face other problems in future also.
Problem and finding their soultions make a man better.
2007-10-18 03:19:35 · answer #8 · answered by Stephen Paul 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If his going to strip bars bothers you, tell him next time he goes you are going with him. Then go with him.
If he says he doesn't want you to go with him, then ask him why is it ok for him to go to the strip bars and oogle at other women and you can't you go our with your friends.
Sounds like ya'll need to have a serious heart to heart before you end up divorced.
2007-10-18 04:17:32 · answer #9 · answered by Muse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, so what? Go out, have fun and tell your husband to get over it. You're not doing anything wrong. You're not cheating. You're simply not following his controlling orders. You're his wife and his equal, not his subordinate. Whether he goes to strip clubs or not isn't the issue here, but since he does go to strip clubs, why not go to one yourself? Watch some men!
2007-10-18 03:16:13 · answer #10 · answered by some female 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋