What would you do???

Question

Last weekend, my ex-husband and I got into a verbal argument outside of my apartment and my boyfriend came to the door and told him to 'get the f*** out of here'....My x-husband took his gun out of it's holster and although he did not point it directly at my bf, he threatened to shoot him. My bf slammed the door and called the police. Now my ex-husband definitely has some anger issues and I sincerely do not think that he should posess a gun except when on duty (he's a corrections officer). His mother called me yesterday about both him and her seeing our 4 yr old daughter but knowing that he's carrying that thing around when my daughter is present bothers me not so much of what something he'd do to her but rather something that he might do around her if he's set off. Do you think there is a way for my to allow his mother to see her this weekend or should I wait? My bf is pressing charges so hopefully something is done where he can only have is gun at work...He has threatened me before 2

but never actually pulled out the gun. This is just crazy to me that he would do something like that especially bc he is in law enforcement and you would think he'd know better...I don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice. Thank you : )

Answer 1

My ex has a severe temper as well. I would maybe get a temporary restraining order against him. If he pulled the gun once even if he never actually pointed it at your boyfriend then I hate to say this but you never know what he might do. If she wants to see her granddaughter have her come to your house where you know that the situation is safe. If she doesn't want to do that then explain to her that you are protecting your daughter and those are the terms for atleast now until things calm down.

Answer 2

Just the fact that he even goes for the gun is an issue. He seems to be on a power trip. You should not let any one see her yet, and you BF should press charges. Who does this man(EX) think he is? And what happens if your daughter accidentally get a hold of that gun. He sounds unstable and needs some serious help. You could go to court and request that he has supervised visitation because of what he did. He should be an inmate not a C O.

Answer 3

Your boyfriend could have been less threatening when he asked your ex to leave. In fact, YOU should have told the man to leave, without getting your boyfriend involved. That being said, your boyfriend should press charges against your ex, so that there is some record of what happened. You also needed to make a police report, when he threatened you. This is called the paper trail and it helps to speed up the process.

I wouldn't be too comfortable with my child being around her hot headed father. You can bring his behavior to the court's attention and get supervised visitation. Be careful with this man. He's a powder keg, waiting to explode.

Answer 4

Oh dear sounds like he's got some serious issues mind u u haven't helped but 4 the sake of ur 4 yr old get a restaining order due to the fact he's pulled a gun on you both in front of the little one I can only hope this will b sorted calmly

Answer 5

Let me get this straight...your ex pulled out a gun and threatened to shoot your boyfriend. Any you are wondering if it's safe to send your 4 yr old for a visit?? Are you nuts? You sound almost as if your are defending him, or at least making excuses for him. Wake up! You are the mother of a little girl, you are responsible for her safety!! Get a restraining order and stop being an enabler for his sadistic behavior! Your daughter is depending on you!

Answer 6

Talk to your childs grandma and let her know what happened. Surely she will understand that you have the best intentions for your daughter in mind. If you trust her enough, maybe drop your daughter off for a couple of hours but ler her know u wish her son not come around while she is visiting. Or you could all 3 go out to the mall or something so that she can visit your daughter but u be there physically just to ease your mind. If you dont trust your childs gma, u dont have to let either one of them see your kid, even if he is on child support, b/c your boyfrined pressed charges there is proof that your ex is unbalanced and unsafe for your daughter to be around. Me personally, I would wait for either one of them to see her, wait to see what happens with the charges and take it to court if your husband tries to fight you on his visitations, you can prove he's unstable. OH, about him carrying his gun with him, thats without a doubt against the law if he's using it to threaten ppl. When he's threatening you/your bf he surely is off the clock so shouldnt even have it with him/especially with your child present. Too many accidents happen nowadays and you cant take most of th em back. Find a way to get a hold of his supervisor at work and let them know what he's doing while not on the work clock.

Answer 7

As a long-time professional in the mental health arena, I believe this ex of your should not be in any position wherein he is authorized a weapon. He simply hasn't the requisite character. By no means should you allow your child to be around this man whether he's armed or not. If that means the child's grandmother's visits are limited, that's too bad; the child's safety MUST come first. And YOU should inform the police of the instances in which he threatened you, whether or not he ever unholstered the weapon. That sort of behavior is absolutely unacceptable and MUST be dealt with.

Answer 8

Thats good that something is being done about his "wild-west" attitude. Things may be a little dramatic for a while. If you are concerned for your daughters safety at all ( or her seeing a lot of drama), then keep a close eye on her. Maybe his Mom could visit at your house or you could go with her for a short visit. Leaving her at his Moms home right now does seem to have potential for a problem. good-luck.

Answer 9

Some people just can't handle a little power, they have to take it to the next level. I would talk to the family courts about his anger issues and his gun carrying. Also I would invite his mother to lunch so she can see her Grandbaby. I really wouldn't trust her to take her alone because most likely she will take her to your ex. You need to resolve this problem before you can let that happen. Good luck, I think you are going to need it.

Answer 10

You need to file an emergency motion for a restraining order and supervised visits. File an ex-parte motion which means you can be heard without him. If you bring your boyfriend, make sure he doesn't start yelling at your ex (if he shows) because it will look bad. If he's crazy enough to pull a gun out then he's crazy enough to use it.