Have you noticed that as a general rule of thumb......women will meet a man and then spend an entire lifetime trying to change him, mold him, scold him, and push him towards reaching his true potential? While men on the other hand seem to want nothing more than for women to go back to being exactly how they were when they first started dating, and to never ever change?
2007-10-18 01:48:30 · 16 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For some of you who can't read, I started my question out with "AS A GENERAL RULE OF THUMB". So if you're husband was absolutely 100% smurfy when you first met, then woopy do good for you. This question obviously doesn't apply to you!
2007-10-18 01:54:40 · update #1
As a "general rule" YES you are so right !!! Not all but many.
I am 77. Been married 54 yrs. and I have seen this played out as you describe, in another form as well.
I've seen women change from the sweet little bride, to one that seemed set on destroying her marriage, by hammering away at a good man, & vice versa, tearing them down ,rather than trying to help them get ahead, or build them up.
Many marry for the wrong reasons, they arn't prepared for the long haul. I'm glad we are. Blessings to you all~~~~~
2007-10-18 02:32:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not me...I just want the person I fall in love with. I don't want to change anyone. The only person I can work on is myself. And I look batter at 37 than I did in my 20's. I'm one hot momma...lol.
But that isn't true for just women, some men want to do the same thing. My second, now X, husband didn't want a woman who was independent. He wanted the 1950's housewife. Why the hell he married me I'll never know. The longer we were married the more horrible, in his mind, I was for a wife. Nothing I did was good enough.
But it makes me wonder, is the general population so idealistic that they are only hurting themselves?
2007-10-18 09:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all women are like that. I will not take offense to what you said because I have noticed the same thing. However, not ALL women do this. I am not that way. My husband and I have been married for 14 years, and I can tell you that our relationship is bound by how we equally feel about everything. We don't always agree, but we don't have to. That's what makes our relationship unique. I don't have to have my way for everything, nor does he. It's give and take - all the way.
Dana? That's a dangerous way to think.
Mcgavin? It's not that way with ALL women. I'm not that way. In fact, I get ridiculed a lot for the fact that I always have dinner ready for him when he gets home from work, and he always comes home to a clean home. I have been told that I'm "allowing my husband to rule my life". Um, I'm the one that's choosing to do this, so how is he ruling my life?
Drew? You sound a little ticked off...recent bad relationships?
2007-10-18 09:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by Beth 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That can happen in all relationships at some stages. Some people are lucky to have a stable relationship where they love eachother the way they are.But everynow and then i'd guess people try to change some things about their partners.
2007-10-18 08:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by m.n.m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's because women are loving and nuturing and are natuarally created to help (God gave Adam, Eve, so that she could be a "helper). Men need help...period. It's the man that doesn't want to change or the better word should be improve. Nobody every really changes, just improves. Some men are just lazy and it's up to the woman to ensure that she picks a man who isn't.
2007-10-18 08:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by Happy1 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, the only changes I want in my family are those that come with life responsibilities... Like having kids, that kids of means you have to help with them, not make all those late nights, etc... All I ask for is be the man you used to be and take care of your responsibilities.
2007-10-18 09:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you further noticed that all the women are trying to act like it is not true?
Come on women. You all are trying to change us. There may be varying degrees, but you ALL do it.
DANA- Improve? Improve in your opinion maybe but not in ours. Most of the areas in which you are trying to change us is to do more stuff for you and has nothing to do with our personal growth. Which is ultimately, selfish.
2007-10-18 08:55:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Smurfy? lol - that made me laugh. Thanx.........
I agree with you though. Women go into it trying to figure out how to make him the man she wants him to be and men go into it hoping their wife will stay the same.....
2007-10-18 09:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is some womens biggest mistake.
When we marry, we are accepting that person for who they are and who they will be. Not who they are and who I want him to be, who I can make him be, with an 'I can change him' attitude.
there is nothing I would change about my man- he is perfect! (for me!)
It is not just women, some men eventually try to change their women too.
2007-10-18 08:56:14 · answer #9 · answered by Rev. Deb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lump us all into one category. I've never tried to change anyone. So there are probably other women like me...who love our men just the way they are.
2007-10-18 08:52:19 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋