My old boyfriend and I e-mail each other a few times each week. We are now both married to other people, but neither of our spouses know that we are in contact. The content of our e-mail is platonic, nothing sexual. Is this ok, or do we need to stop? We haven't told our spouses about this because they are both very jealous people.
2007-10-18 01:43:07 · 33 answers · asked by J Mack 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not cheating, but you shouldn't try to keep it under wraps because when either spouse finds out, the fact that it was kept hush-hush makes it seem like something illicit was going on.
There's nothing wrong with maintaining a platonic relationship with an ex, or friends of the opposite sex...but it shouldn't be hidden from your partner. Wouldn't you wonder if something was up if you found out your spouse was secretly corresponding with an ex?
2007-10-18 01:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I dont think its cheating,especially if there is nothing sexual and neither one of you want to take it there then no its not cheating. HOwever, You both are keeping something from your partner and (put yourself in your partners shoes) if u were to find this out how would you take it? They may be jealous ppl but you accepted them like that, u married that person knowing they were jealous so for you to sneak a friendship online is not right. Let him know (your hubby) if you want to keep the friendship and there is no harm to your marriage, just let your husband know. The two of you are just friends anyway, what is it that you talk about?
2007-10-18 01:54:21 · answer #2 · answered by I DONT CARE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if your husband was emailing his old flame? It's playing with fire and you should stop it. If you are asking if it is cheating, then you already know the answer. You are deceiving your husband by doing this behind his back. There is something missing in your marriage that you need to pay attention to and work on. Platonic emails can escalate to many things. You should be confiding in your husband, not your old boyfriend.
2007-10-18 01:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by casey308 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you want him doing something like this behind your back? I think not! Just come out there and say it. Explain that you e-mail and your life is an open book for your husband. If he wants to see the e-mails, which are nothing sexual, then there should be nothing to hide right?
2007-10-18 02:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
night owl, you will be a misery owl if your spouse if out that you been sneaking behind his back talking to your ex's. where is your brain is at? if your spouse is jealous why in the Sam Hill you're doing this to yourself. You only asking for trouble and if he find out about it, a big main trust issue will come between the two of you. Do you really want that in your marriage? Even if you come out and tell him that you been in touch with your ex's he will not be a happy camper. And guess who will get tick off when he ask you 100 question, hmmmm? Save yourself the headaches and break off the communication with him. that is my opinion.
2007-10-18 01:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having secrets from your spouse is NEVER a good thing. And if he finds out, he's gonna flip out and think that you've been cheating because you've kept it a secret. Are these emails worth your marriage? If not, then stop emailing if it'll bother your husband that much. If you think you can get your husband to be rational about it, then keep going but come clean about the emails.
2007-10-18 07:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you cant tell you spouses about it means you feel guilty about it and inside you know its wrong. Would you like it if he was talking to an ex behind your back all the time, I think not. You need to stop it or tell your spouse about it. ANd when you tell him about it you know he will make you stop. Dont cause unwanted drama in your life. He is an ex for a reason, keep it that way.
2007-10-18 01:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by nydiac200 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, it is an emotional relationship...it may help to know that a lot of spouses who cheat did not mean to...in the beginning they were not thinking cheating....they were thinking that it was nice to talk to someone who really listened...the other person said just the right thing...was the shoulder to cry on...the supportive person...this emotional bond strengthens and then there comes a mutual admiration that somehow skews into the sexual realm...and let me ask here...if this were your husband contacting his x would you be understanding especially if he kept it hidden...or would you be thinking that there must be more if it is a secret...
2007-10-18 01:53:10 · answer #8 · answered by Patti_Ja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to avoid this type dilemma is to ask yourself would you still be exchanging email if your partner knew? If not, you are opening the door for problems. How would you like it if your hubby was doing the same thing? Would you feel betrayed? Either tell your hubby or quit the communication. If he finds out one day, even if all is innocent, he will be upset you actively hid something from him. Is it worth it to break up your marriage over a few emails?
2007-10-18 01:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by Really now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is indeed a tough question and situation.You need to stop,before is too late.This contact with your old boyfriend is never, a good idea.It is not a cheating yet,but will be for sure,if you do not stop talking with him.If you have your partner,then, you do not need that contact with your old boyfriend.If your husband is a jealous person,better is to stop right now,before you will have serious problems in your marriage.Good luck.
2007-10-18 02:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋