i dont think its a poblem but he does. he's gay. he said he want to go to a psychiatrist (spelling?) to get his "problem fixed". he said he wants "to get married and have kids and live happily ever after". i know i cant make his life perfect like he wants it but i want to help him. how can i help him?
2007-10-18 01:25:24 · 9 answers · asked by walks with goats 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
oops typ-o. i mean help.
2007-10-18 01:26:09 · update #1
Let him know that he can do anything he wants with his life. If he wants a family, he can have it. Nothing he is doing now is set in stone. He can change if he desires to change.
The best way to change his life is to change the people he hangs out with. Move. Find different places to hang out, meet new people. Find and associate with people he most wants to be like. Their attributes will rub off on to him.
And ask him to seek help. He'll need the support.
2007-10-18 01:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there.Its Paul, how are you?
Obviously your friend is uncomfortable with his sexuality, which leads me to believe he's quite young, as in his teens.
Firstly homosexuality is NOT adisease or sickness and cant be "cured"!
Its like saying I dont like my blue eyes I wonder if a pyschiatrist can "cure" them.
Its who he is, its that easy.
In the bad old days before people were educated and enlightened like the are today homosexuality was a crime!!
In the UK, a famous Irishman, named Oscar Wilde (playwrite,poet and old style playboy!) was semt to prison for being gay!!!
Incredible but true. Nowadays people have learnt something called live and let live. Well civilised people anyway.
In the old days too,medical staff did try to treat homosexuals withrandom,useless, experimental things like drugs,e.c.t and so on.
It doesnt work.Gay people are gay,period.Its the way they are.
Cos its 'new' to your friend he is struggling to accept the Traditional life, american dream, house in the suburbs,dog,kids,wife..is not for him.
But there is no norm,no dream.This was created by Hollywood.What makes u as an individual happy..thats the dream!
Maybe counselling or support to help him Accept himself would be useful.
Finally IF he is very young,its worth considering that teenage years are hard,hormones all over the place,and many kids do get a bit mixed up..to use a cliche,all kida go thru 'phases'..puberty is a strange time.
He must for now relax and go with the flow, and he's lucky to have good friends and support.
Paul
ps I must say as a straight man I AM rather enlightened myself am I not?!!
Hope I've helped though
2007-10-18 10:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by paulpoulboy. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are already helping him by being his friend and listening to his perceived "problem". He has confided in you so he must really trust you. Keep supporting him and maybe see if there is a gay person he can talk to that will help him accept himself. The fulfilling life he wants will come once he accepts who he is and builds a life around that. He can have a family and children as many others gay partners already do. But it can't be built on a lie.
2007-10-18 09:12:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god! That is really sad, I mean, that may sound stupid, but the worst thing he could do is say that he needs to 'cure' himself. You can't cure who you are, or otherwise you wouldn't be you. Try to convice him of the idea of being bisexual if that really bothers him that much, until he has came to terms to his real self. Tell him about how there are millions of people just like him out there who would be or even better than most girls he could marry! He should take pride in who he is, and you need to make sure that you stand by him NO MATTER WHAT.
My mother's friend commited suicide because his own parents wouldn't take who he was for real. Seriously, when he brought a boyfriend home, the parents told him he wasn't their son, and then a couple of weeks later he went shopping with one of his girl friends and his parents kept on going on about how they were such a good couple, even though both he and she made it very clear that he was gay and couldn't like her like that. He killed himself because he thought people wouldn't accept him and he was 29 years old. He had so much more to live for, but its gone now, and you don't want your friend to end up like that!
You may want to take him to a psychiatrist but first look into their views on homosexuality and then try to tell them that they should convince him that he is fine the way he is. There is nothing to do really except to try to let him come to terms with himself, and I hope things work out well.
2007-10-18 11:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by LoveThroughout_Time 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being gay does not mean you cannot get married and have a loving family. Maybe a couple countries are going to stop you, but there are ways to retaliate. For instance -- live somewhere else.
I'm half way there already.
I also think your friend needs to address his real problem -- that he is unhappy with himself. Gay cannot be cured, but having a low self esteem can be.
Help him by finding him the proper help he needs. He doesn't need to pretend to be someone he is not.
2007-10-18 08:45:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being gay isn't a "problem", your friend is going to have to learn to accept who he is, if he wants to be happy.
-"he said he wants 'to get married and have kids and live happily ever after', " -He can be gay and do all this, well at least in some states.
2007-10-18 09:54:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps you should endorse his desire to see a psychiatrist and let the professional help him instead of you.
2007-10-18 09:21:45 · answer #7 · answered by Eratosthenes 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like he's in deep denial. you can't "cure" homosexuality. he's fooling himself if he thinks he's going to be happy living life as a heterosexual and he needs to come to terms with it before he hurts himself and his family. continue to be his friend and support him no matter what. i think he SHOULD go see a psychiatrist, but no self respecting doctor is going to try to "cure" him, they will try to help him come to terms with who he is
2007-10-18 08:32:04 · answer #8 · answered by Brian S 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Be his friend, support his choices, google Narth
2007-10-18 08:31:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋