would you consider this offensive????

Question

Our lunch table is very diverse at lunch. We have all sorts of races and it's great. However, last week the hispanic boy that eats with us, Juan, asked me if i had ever been "beaten" and i said no. he then continued to say "so you've never been drug into a dressing room a the mall and beaten with a shoe or a hanger?" and i was like "wtf no." and he said, "well that's just because your a spoiled little white girl."

when i was little my parents spanked me - actually my mom did. my dad - however- never spanked me but he would scream at me and call me "hopeless" and a "dissappointment" and then go days without talking to me. growing up i was in fear of my dad because personally to me that was worse than being spanked.

juan has no idea what he is talking about and i personally think it is offense to lable me with that silly stereotype of "white" kids growing up without getting "beaten" or a "whoopin."

personally, this was offenseive to me. what do you think???

Answer 1

I think Juan is trying to get attention.
Best to leave him alone and not try to reward his bad behavior with the attention he wants.
If he becomes civil again that is when you talk to him.

Answer 2

He obviously has some issues with the way he was raised. Most people look back and think they where treated poorly. I am 100x better at parenting than my parents (long story) but now that my kids are teens I can see why they where frustrated with me. When I was a teen I figured they where over reacting or needed to mind there own business because I new what I was doing. As an adult watching my teens it is like watching a blind person step into traffic. You want to help but they refuse to listen.

Juan has some unresolved issues with the way he was raised and feels he was treated poorly. He is a little envious of your upbringing and is attacking you so that he does not have to address the real issue…his anger. You on the other hand only listened to what he was saying and focused on yourself rather than seeing the big picture. Now that you see the big picture maybe your reaction will be different.

It could also be that Juan wants to feels tough, tough thugs where usually beaten and he wants to be a thug. The reality might be he grew up in suburbia and is a spoiled brat too. People tend to project their insecurities onto others and therefore It could be either of these possibilities.

If you where offended get over it. if you plan on talking to people ad being around others you should be willing to take the good with the bad and be a little more thick skinned.
The last thing we need is someone who wants to sue everyone else because they where offended. We already have plenty of those tards already.

Answer 3

Hi.

I just wanted to say two things:
1. I don't think it's cool AT ALL that your dad called you hopeless and a disappointment and then gave you the silent treatment growing up.... and I'm sorry that's happened to you.... I hope you have other good people around you that have told you great things about yourself and have helped you to be all you can be!

2. It sounds like Juan might have had some stuff happening for him in his past or currently and while I agree with you that whether or not you have experienced the terrible things he's mentioning or not he shouldn't call you a spoiled little white girl... it just makes me think maybe this is his experience or someone close to him... i hope he has some good people in his corner looking out for him....

I kinda think too that in all different cultures families sometimes don't treat each other well.... and that making it a racial thing is not useful.. violence is wrong whatever culture we are from.

Answer 4

Well,it is offensive. I´m Venezuelan, and I´ve studied in multicultural school, and I think that is offensive. The only way it wouldn´t be offensive is if you´ve done the same with him in anyway. For example, I´ve had a afroamerican friend and we use to joke all the time, the same with my anglo friend. And we use to be very offensive to each other, but never got mad. As a matter of fact the 3 of us are still good friends.

But if you thing it was offensive, you shouldn´t leave this happen again, and let him know it bothers you in a good manner (never use violence).

Being beaten is not the right thing nor for whites nor for afros neither any culture!!!

Answer 5

I think it's a more than a little bent. Who goes around asking people if they've ever been dragged into a mall dressing room and beaten. Sounds to me like your friend Juan has some issues to work out - or maybe he was trying to give a subtle confession to what he did over the weekend.

Yes, you should be offended by the question and his statement, but I would also be a bit afraid of the guy.

Answer 6

Yes very offensive, I am labled "white" and I had gotten spanked as a child. Race , nationality, color, religion, or sex should not have anything to do with anything from what he is talking to you about. He is trying to offend you , do not stoop to his level. Do not let him get the worst out of you. If he does this again tell a teacher or principle for sure. He is being racist.

Answer 7

I think Juan is **** but i would not take this as offensive , why are people so ******* politically correct all the time u cant say sweet **** all now and Ur a racist, just ignore Juan but in the future don't be so sensitive!

Answer 8

OMG!!! Thats would be so offensive if someone said that to me. First of all, why is he asking such a stupid question. My guess is that he just wanted to get into a fight with "white" people. Second, there's no such thing as "white" people. Or even "black" people. There is European and African American, or just plain African. There also shouldn't be "hispanic" Since thats was made up buy the Mexican people because they didn't want to be called Mexican. Same with latina or latino. Third, most "hispanic" people say that about "white" people because they don't have the stuff that we do.
***for the people who think I am racist, I am not trying to be. If this sounds racist, don't go getting all mad at me. I am just telling the truth***

Answer 9

Part of his brain obviously fell out while he was being beaten. I'm sure he didn't mean it how it sounded. People sometimes say things in different ways, if someone asked me 'were you 'beaten' as a child', I would say no (my definition of 'beating' is that this is more of an action of abuse than a spanking). If someone asked 'were you 'smacked' as a child I would say yes. Don't take it to heart, I'm sure he didn't mean to be offensive.

Answer 10

Yeah its offensive. Tell him you've never had it done but you'd like to find out what its like to do to him.

As for the "white girl" thing. Too many white people are scared to call this racist. If it's not racist....why do so many black people not like being called black?