my father-inlaw came on holiday, he was meant to stay with us for 2mths and now is staying for 5mths. I am not happy with the arrangement as we only have a 2 bedroom house and i have 2children. My father-inlaw is sleeping in their bedroom whilst my sons sleep in my bed with myself and my husband. I work full time and have explained to my husband that i cannot cope with entertaining his fathers guests, plus cooking his meals on top of working and dealing with the kids. He thinks i,m making a big deal out of nothing. My husband booked him self 1wk holiday to go to America, leaving me to cope with the kids, during this time, his father went to stay with a friend. Now get this i am alone at home with 2kids 6 and2, have to drop 6yr old at school, 2year old at the childminder, go to work and pick both up. Plus i dont drive, my father-inlaw doesn;t ask how i,m coping but decides to bring his laundry over from his friends for me to wash. my husband thinks its not too much for me to do this.
2007-10-17 22:45:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husbands thinks i am trying to stop him from being close to his family. we have just moved house and his father came 2wks after we moved in. so we not had any space to settle in as a family
2007-10-17 23:03:33 · update #1
i think you should sit with your hubby and discuss the problem and come with collective decision of urs and ur hubby's. well tat means both of you have to compromise a little. let your husband talk with ur father in law. i know what u r going thru, but dear dont get irritate it will worsen the matter. sit with ur hubby when he come from US, tell him now tat you have taken a wekk holiday and refresh yourself, its my turn to refresh myself and take break for sometime. it will help u to be more open to new ideas. remember there is always a ray of hope in every situation. you need to search for it. god bless and take care
2007-10-17 23:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kassanovic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would tell my husband that if he is going to allow his father to stay w/out consideration to me, then he can take care of him himself!! He can do his father's laundry, cook for the two of them, etc. I would also put my foot down on how many additional guests the old man drags in with him. Your husband sees no problem with any of this because he's not the one picking up the extra slack!! In addition, When he brought his butt home from Holiday, I would announce that I, too, am taking a break. No cooking or cleaning or running around doing errunds for 1wk. He had his time off, now it's my turn.
2007-10-18 08:44:07 · answer #2 · answered by firestorm_87 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband booked himself a holiday???? What about you and the kids?? Surely you deserve a break also. It is unreasonable of him to dump all this on you and not fair that the kids have to sleep in with you either. Yes the father is family and you should always try to help out family, but there is over stepping the mark and expecting too much.
2007-10-18 06:45:40 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, that can be rough, I feel sorry for you.
You are not making a big deal out of this, you really need your house back!!!
I have the same size house as you, so I am really feeling bad for you! Putting my self in your shoes, that would drive me crazy!!
I think you should suggest to your husband, that your father-in-law finds a hotel or a motel to stay in or you will!!! That is what I would suggest!
You have a full time life, a full time schedule, and it never ends, your father-in-law is on vacation, and he is taking advantage of the situation and everything and everyone!!
I would put my foot down and tell my husband it is either him leave for the remainder of the stay, or you will leave for the remainder of the stay!!!!
You need a break!!!!
2007-10-18 06:08:42 · answer #4 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time father-in-law comes in for a holiday have him stay with those friends of his that he is with now or in a hotel. That might shorten his stay, too. No one can impose upon you unless you allow it. If this situation isn't working out for you, say so! If your hubby thinks "it's not too much", let him try it for awhile. He'll change his tune. Just don't let anyone stress you out. If your father-in-law gets upset, he's not being considerate of you, your children or your feelings. I'm a bit shocked at your husband's behavior,too. What's up with that taking a holiday in America...without you and the kids. I'd have a chat with him about that,too!
2007-10-18 05:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by Lynn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would go to a friends house or family members for a week! Dont contact your husband! Leave the kids and his father! Your husband will soon learn what you do around the place! He will crack under the pressure and appreciate you so much more! Seriously it will work! Try it!
2007-10-18 06:25:08 · answer #6 · answered by emzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is soo wrong. The least your father in law could do is help u around the house or offer to do something. You have all the right in the world to be angry. If I were u, I would seriously think about if your husbands and your communication is right, because it sure dosent sound like it.. Think twice about what he is putting u through.. You deserve better mama.
2007-10-18 05:59:15 · answer #7 · answered by Emily W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree with u and it alot of work to do. he shoulf think about and u not trying to separate him from his family. his father cant stay with u forever and he need to have his own small flat close by. his father might infering ur marriage. so ur husband is being unfair to u and doesnt appreaciate u afor all those work that u have done. he should help u and kids. tell him it's either if he wants to keep the marrige or move out coz u cant handle on ur own. he must make up his mind and also tell him that u love ur father-in-law but he cant stay forever with him. he might understand and u have right to be angry
2007-10-18 07:07:27 · answer #8 · answered by Msuthukazi m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok number 1. Why is your husband going on holiday without his family???? Number2, why should he expect YOU to take care of his father??? Number 3 Why would he leave knowing his father is there???? Number4 Why isn't he valuing your opinion as his wife!!! ITs your house too!!!! I would take the kids and leave, and let the husband come home to a mess.
2007-10-18 06:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't good!!!! your husband has to understand problem which your facing. suppose if your mother come at your home for that much day, what kind of behavior he can follow so he have to think in this manner. its ok that he's your husband and he has bit more right but using in this manner damn not cooool
Talk to him very clear way.If he's going to do all these work what should he do????? This not done told him with strictness What is going ooonnn.
2007-10-18 05:53:25 · answer #10 · answered by MS 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋