My mom is going through a tough time, her husband (not my Dad) and her recently got a divorce and she's completely lost it. She drinks, gambles and is basically partying it up. My Dad won't even let us spend the weekends with her anymore because all she does is party and make us clean her house. She is very emotionally unstable and is liable to shout at me or my siblings anytime she is irritated. we tried to be sympathetic at first but enough is enough. what should i do ?
2007-10-17 20:14:42 · 7 answers · asked by style assimilator 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I sound "precocious" eh ? Thanks, but I'm 17 It's not like I'm stupid or anything.
2007-10-17 20:48:08 · update #1
Give her a decision to make you or the lifestyle she is living!
Honesty is the best policy here when a parent is concerned so I would have my father there when we spoke and tell her she needs to end her destructive ways or risk losing you and you siblings relationship altogether!
In the end it's got to be her choice, and hers only!
2007-10-17 20:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by The Lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You Dad is right in having you stay away. Your mother is on a downward spiral indulged with self pity. She has to wake up and smell the roses so to speak. She has to realize that she is affecting you and your siblings in a very negative manor when she acts like this. It is in some circles considered child abuse, and as a recovering alcaholic, I can tell you that it is at the least neglect, and selfishness. She isn't thinking about anybody but herself at this point, and she is damaging to you all in the emotional sense. Think about what her behavior is showing you and your siblings. Temper tantrums are tolerable when things don't go your way??? I would say that she may have a substance abuse problem, and maybe you and your siblings might want to talk to someone from Alanon.
2007-10-17 21:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound precocious for your age. Your mother is dealing with her situation the only way she sees is the right way. Although it's counter productive for everyone, she's doing it and it hurts you to see her hurting herself. I'm so sorry for you. You should talk to her and explain that what she is doing is hurting YOU. You need your mother. Dad should also speak with her and suggest some form of counseling. You can't make someone do something but you can certainly pave the way to positive communication. You deserve to have your mother who right now is obviously on a negative path. You could try hiding a tape to record what happens and show it to her when she's sober. You and your siblings should also receive counseling. Understand your mother loves you; she just makes bad decisions at this time. Good luck!
2007-10-17 20:26:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make your Mom feel as if you children are taking anyone's side in this matter. Be there for her when she wants to talk. She may feel more comfortable discussing this with her friends right now. Unfortunately, misery loves company and that's why she's at the bar scene. When the dust settles, she's likely to get more concerned about her home life again, albeit a new home, and you may want to bring this subject up soon. How's about taking Mom to Sears for some new kitchen curtains for that ADORABLE kitchen window?
2007-10-17 20:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by Chiksita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get her to seek counseling, then perhaps you and your siblings should sit down with her and tell her you are worried about her. It's kind of like an 'intervention' where everyone contributes their story or opinion of what she has said or done to hurt them. All together, sitting down and talking, it can be effective. Then your mother would realize that you all think the same thing - that she has gone off the deep end.
2007-10-17 20:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can write her letters telling her how you feel, you're gonna have to write a lot of them, keep her in touch of how you guys are doing, thanksgiving card x'mas birthday, as much as you can, and you must also emphasize how you miss her and how you wish she loved herself the way you guys love her, it will kick in, not right away, but it will. do not call her or go see her when she is not well, it will only give her the opportunity to yell and take out all the grief she is going through and this can harm your relationship emotionally, write saying that you will never loose hope that she will again one day be that special mom peace
2007-10-17 20:22:27 · answer #6 · answered by Remy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay with your dad that.s why she.s now divorced from your stepdad my opion?
2007-10-17 20:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋