tell me. I called his job because the toilet overflowed. I called twice and spoke to two diff people. One took a message as if he was there. I told the man to tell him to call home. Then I had my mom call. Finally, she was told he wasn't scheduled for the day. He left the house at 3:30pm. Said he had to work at 4pm. He had his cell phone off until 9pm. Then I called and he said he went over his brother house. And he was scheduled but someone asked for his hours. So, basically he saying he was out having fun w/ his brother.
2007-10-17 19:25:50 · 18 answers · asked by sexyascanbe! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have three kids.
2007-10-17 19:26:06 · update #1
I'm thinking about divorcing him. Am I overreacting?
2007-10-17 19:31:15 · update #2
There was no fight prior to this situation.
2007-10-17 19:35:07 · update #3
I never ever call his job. But I had to cause his cell was off. And thats how I found out.
2007-10-17 19:36:18 · update #4
redhotz, charmed, and mom2be Youre so right!!!
2007-10-18 16:21:33 · update #5
I agree smiles, Kim and jaqueline.
2007-10-18 16:23:18 · update #6
I don't think you are. Go and investigate. Looks like there is more to this story.
2007-10-17 19:33:32 · answer #1 · answered by Rave 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not overreacting. I would be upset too and I am sure any sane respectable lady would be upset too. Especially given the curcumstances. Phone off, saying he was going to work and knowing he wasnt scheduled. You must already have your gut telling you something was up with him to begin with. Follow your gut. It sounds like more is going on than you are sharing. YOu are talking about divorce. This isnt due to onetime insident.
Consider seperation before divorce. It helps sort out what you really want from each other. Sometimes time apart is all you need to either work things out or call it quits. It worked for us I am sure it will work for you...the seperation before divorce.
2007-10-18 02:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know whether you have something to worry about. Has he done this before? Has he ever given you a reason to worry?
The warning signs of cheating:
*He acts differently around you... aloof and doesn't talk much
*Doesn't seem interested in sex anymore with you
*Doesn't let you touch his phone or he has it by his side a lot
*He wants to "go out with the boys" or "hang out at his brother's" more often than he used to
*There are extra charges on the credit card bill that you're not aware of... or there are weird charges you weren't involved in (like a flower shop or a restaurant)
*He gets defensive when you question him instead of acting relaxed and casual... of course, if you pin him up against the wall and act like a drill sargeant, he'll naturally get pissed off, but if you ask casually and get a nasty response and he gets mad, that's a red flag.
*He is online often
*He stops calling you during the day
If none of the above have occurred, you really shouldn't worry about it. He probably was telling the truth. If you're starting to think that he's been acting a little funny, there's no harm in checking his phone for odd numbers dialed/missed/received and interesting text messages. If you find the list was deleted, that may be another sign. Check the credit card statements for funky charges. I wouldn't do that if there are no warning signs that he's cheating though... you need to trust him until he gives you solid reasons NOT to trust him.
Good luck, hun. :)
P.S. - Regarding your thought on divorcing him... I really think that's silly. You don't even know if he was lying! Hold your horses before you jump to conclusions. If you're so quick to think about divorce, it makes me wonder what else is going on...
2007-10-18 02:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Cochy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are overreacting when you are upset and suspicious over this incident. Divorce him? As long as you just think of it but not act on it at this point.
Men are wired in different ways than us. Sometimes they just don't get what the rights or wrongs are. As if we have to let them sit on the driver seat but let them drive to the directions we provide. In another words, you should set up the rules such as requesting him to let you know before he goes to anywhere that he doesn't tell you and leave his cell phone on and answer it when you call in case of emergency. If he refuses to do so, then there will be a different story.
2007-10-18 02:36:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Become a PI investigator men lie(so do women), if he never get free time without an argument he could be telling the truth, just wanted to hang out, do he usually have his phone off, sounds as if he cut it on after peak hours.
2007-10-18 02:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by deneansmith@att.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he was out having fun with someone.....I bet it was NOT his brother. If it was, why did he need his cell phone off til 9pm??? Cheating men never plan for home emergencies and funny they happen just at the right time for YOU to learn what you need to know.....esp with 3 kids! I'd be paying someone to follow him around in a few weeks....let him think he's out of the dark....then pay someone to follow him for a few days.....with a camera. I'm gonna start up a business doing this! I could make a small fortune! IF your gut say he's cheating.....he is.
2007-10-18 02:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not a whole lot of info, sorry. But it's possible that he just wanted some time alone. Maybe he forgot to turn the phone back on. Guys can be just like us sometimes, can't they? Just ask him calmly before doing anything rash.
2007-10-18 02:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Chiksita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Im so sorry to say this but hes cheating hunny, If you dont believe me then turn into a dam PI and youll see for yourself. Men are dumb as h e l l and you can see right through that one. #1 Why couldnt he tell you he was off?#2 why did he have his cell off?#3 why didnt they tell you he was off at the office?#4why didnt he let you talk to his brother if thats where he was at? I mean come on girlfriend. I dont mean to jump to conclusions but if I where you I would definitely do some investigating.
2007-10-18 02:35:08 · answer #8 · answered by Shandlan 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that you are overreacting. He is lying to you. He is probably cheating. If he were going to go out with his brother why did he act like he was going to go to work. Does he always have his cell phone off? He did not want to be disturbed. I would leave him if it were me.
2007-10-18 03:55:07 · answer #9 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what was his excuse about having his phone switched off??
out of respect for you, he should have called to tell you what had happened and where he was going to be, especially if (god fobidden) something bad was to have happened to you or the kids!!!!
i always tell my hubby where i am and what im doing so that he knows incase he needs to get a hold of me and he does the same.
its out of courtesy and respect.
i think you should really talk to him before making any rash decisions and explain to him how you feel and if he isnt willing to change his ways, then take it from there.
2007-10-18 02:36:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably. But now you know what you are dealing with. Don't divorce him until you have a bank account set up, can afford to support yourself and the kids, and can afford a good lawyer. If you don't have a college degree, then this is the time to go back to school and get one. Be prepared.
2007-10-18 02:33:43 · answer #11 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋