I am 4 months pregnant by my bf & unhappy in the relationship.I feel as if he is seeing other people.He spends no time with me & I rarely hear from him.When I try to break up with him he begs for me back.He has an ex gf he talks to all the time.She says he promises her they will be 2gether, he doesnt deny it.They havent seen each other in a year.He is going 2 Iraq in Dec for 15 months.What should i do now?I really dont want to be with him.He tells me we are getting married before he leaves but i dont believe anything he says cause he proved to me once he is a player.I also think he uses me for money because he is flat broke and i have a good amount of money invested.He doesnt know that but he sees how i am living and knows i am well off.I have plans to give up the baby for adoption and never talk to him again.I shouldnt be here when he returns.My feelings are so hurt and want to leave him now.My question,is it a good idea to leave him like that and give up the baby & is he cheating.
2007-10-17 19:24:36 · 25 answers · asked by Blessed21 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i just moved here a few months ago and a few states away from my family. i am divorced and have a child already which is y i dont want to keep this baby. i want the baby to be in a better environment. i have no support except for my new friends here.
2007-10-17 19:44:08 · update #1
DUMP HIS A**!! You are pregnant, and you really don't need the stress! And just because you dump him doesn't mean you have to give up the baby, but if that's what you feel is the right thing to do, than do it. If he begs for you back, I know the perfect thing you can tell him... "NO, I am tired of your sh!t"
There, problem solved.
2007-10-17 19:28:32 · answer #1 · answered by **[Witty_Name]** 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
(((((((Blessed))))))) What a heartbreaking decision.
My advice is, if you feel there's something wrong with your relationship, don't go ahead with marriage. Divorce a few years later isn't going to be any easier than breaking up now.
If he is flat broke now he's not going to be able to support his baby. Being realistic, he may not even be coming back from Iraq. So adoption may be the best option for this child. Better a loving new home than a man who cannot commit to a relationship with his/her mother.
It's wonderful that you didn't take the easy way out and abort the baby. You say you are well off, do you think you would be able to look after the baby on your own? But perhaps you prefer not to have a reminder of a bad relationship, or to give him a hold on you (and your money) when he returns.
I pray you make the best decision.
2007-10-18 02:36:15 · answer #2 · answered by sunny112358 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have support from other people, you need to have the special people in your life around you to support you during this time especially when it can you make you feel so alone and hurt. If he is going to be away for that amount of time is he going to "your man" while he is doing his tour of duty? Guys like this will not stay true... ask me I know Im a bloke.
From what you are saying about this ex gf and what he is not denying you should have all the ammo you need to get rid of him. Does he have such a hold on you or can you tell him to go. The waiting and wanting while he is away I would say is going to be to much especially while you have all these other thoughts and feelings with a baby coming along. Leave him girl, he will not change and settle for just you, he will keep breaking your heart and the truth be know there are wonderful people out there that will cetainly love you
2007-10-18 02:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by richardbenz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have already decided in your heart, the best thing is to give the baby up for adoption, that's your plan. When the baby arrives, you might change your mind. Babies have a way of doing that. I'm sure you're young, probably confused, but think about this.. your BF is a player, he is only faithful when he needs something from you, in this case, money. If he's going to Iraq, all the best for him, hope he's safe.
When he leaves, you can pack up & move away, change your cell #, move near family, or stay in the same town, but change addresses, move away from where you currently are.
I know your feelings are all screwed up right now, the pregnancy is a part of that too. You have to do what's best for you, if you aren't happy, and you're seeing the same routine, this guy isn't for you. there are lots of guys out there who would definetely appreciate you, you just have to find them, or have them find you.
I kinda know what you're going through, I have a friend who has a similar situation, except she kept her child, and is very happy she did.
Her childs scumbag father is dirt and says whatever he has to to get what he wants from her, only to cheat and do whatever he wants. At this moment, he's been kicked out, but still is saying what every woman wants to hear, my friend is being strong, but it isn't easy.
I for one, would not want to be the backup plan, which is what you are to him. when he has nothing going on, you're there for him. That's not fair to you, nor your child.
Good luck, God be with you.
2007-10-18 02:33:20 · answer #4 · answered by Eric F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are financially well off, why are you giving the baby up for adoption?!? You don't need him to raise a baby. Tell him how you feel and tell him to stay out of your life. Avoid his calls for the next fifteen months, he will get the point. If he isn't spending time with you, he is probably cheating; espeacially if he is taking your money and still have feelings for his ex! If you can love and provide a good life for your baby, then keep it. If not, give it away. You don't need a man.
2007-10-18 02:37:01 · answer #5 · answered by tryingtopassmicro 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I have dated cheaters and the leopard NEVER changes his spots. I would kick him to the curb fast. Especially if he is not showing much interest in the baby. I congratulate you on your decision to give your baby up for adoption instead of getting an abortion. There are SO many people out there just waiting to love your baby. Two of my sisters adopted and we just love them dearly.
I was a teen mom and decided to keep my son. Life has been VERY hard and I wonder if I made the right decision myself. If I had the strength to give him up, he and I BOTH may have had much better lives. It is a VERY hard decision and no matter WHAT you do, you will wonder what life would have been like if you had made the other choice.
As for the boyfriend, DO NOT MARRY HIM before he leaves. If you truly love him and think you can trust him, give it more time and see what happens, but do NOT tie yourself to him permanently, especially if you are the one with the money. You could end up paying him spousal support!
Good luck love.
2007-10-18 02:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he sounds like he is a cheater if he's still talking openly with his ex. Your very brave to give your child up for adoption. If your well off financially why don't you keep it? I'm not trying to put you down or anything just curious. There's plenty of lovely families out there who want a baby but can't have one, you'll be a blessing to them. Hopefully he can't sue or anything and win custody of the child. how would that make you feel? if you feel the relationship isn't healthy than you have every right to leave him whenever your ready. that baby deserves the best chance for a good life and if you don't feel you can provide that than you should give it to someone who will cherish that child forever.
god bless you and your amazing baby, your a strong woman who loves your child and wants the best for him/her don't forget that!
2007-10-18 02:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by TM25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should follow your heart and if you think that giving the baby up for adoption is the best thing for you and your unborn child then you should do it. The worst thing that you could do to child is to bring it up in an unhappy home. By letting the child be adopted you give the child a chance to have a happy life.. Yes u should definitely leave him
2007-10-18 02:41:35 · answer #8 · answered by D.Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun you would not be the first women to walk away from a man, while pregnant with his child nore will you be the last to ever do so. If you don't feel happy now, what makes you think things will change?
Do what you think and feels rights, but then again you might think one thing but feel another. Ask yourself 10 good reason while you should stay, and ask yourself 10 good reason while you should leave.
Don't stay just because your having his baby, or because he says you should. And please don't marry for all the wrong reason.
2007-10-18 02:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by Porcelain Doll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and his cheating *ss! The baby you are carrying is another matter. Step back away from the relationship and focus only on how you feel about you and your ability to be a mother. If you just can't see yourself as being responsible for another life then yes, adoption is the answer.
2007-10-18 02:30:54 · answer #10 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋