I am 30 and my father has been on drugs since I can remember. Me, my mother and brother moved out of state when I was 11, and I recently moved back 4 years ago. My father is abusive to his girlfriend and was very abusive to my mother. I mean he has done some terrible things. He lives with his girlfriend part of the time and part of the time he lives on the streets like a bum.
I was downtown with my cousin one weekend and saw him walking. He was dirty and ungroomed and I just broke down and cried. The thing is he chooses to live that way. He likes to make people feel sorry for him. It's always all about him and what he's going through. Poor dad this and poor dad that. He calls me to say he's homeless and hungry and he expects me to do something about it.
Sometimes I go 2 months or so without hearing from him. Then one day I'll call his girlfriend's house and he'll be there. His first words are "I'm hungry and need you to bring me something to eat!". He says it in such a ...
2007-10-17 17:54:26 · 7 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sarcastic tone and it drives me nuts. I am under the impression that he feels that because I am married with a car, job and house, that he thinks I have lots of money. I really don't. He calls like I owe him something.
Once I finally do get back in touch with him, he constantly calls my cell phone. He'll call every 5-10 mins. and leave so many messages that it fills up my mailbox. Sometimes I answer and sometimes I don't because I am afraid of what I'll have to get involved in.
On several occasions he and his girlfriend got into a fight and he'll up and call me to come get him. Then he'll have to sit up at my house all evening because he doesn't have anywhere to go. For one while, it seemed as though he was doing this once a month.
He always tells people he feels like he doesn't have any kids or family. He has burned bridges with everybody, even his own mother. His grandmother raised him and she passed last October. That was his pride and joy. Now he feels so lost.
2007-10-17 17:57:36 · update #1
He lived with us until I was 11 and we moved out of state. Then he moved out of state with us about 3 months later and stayed with us off and on for 3 years or so. I really don't dislike him. I want to help him. But he's so ignorant. Seriously. He is in denial after all these years that he has a problem. He doesn't want to address that issue. He wants to figure out how to manipulate people.
I try to avoid him at all costs. I will be bothered with him if I feel like it. I don't owe him anything.
2007-10-17 17:59:40 · update #2
Just for the record, when I say ignorant I mean ignorant. Very loud and obnoxious and country. He does not have a rational bone in his body. You tell him he has a problem and he'll tell you that you have a problem. He's a very rough person that has never known how to sit down and have a conversation. We don't even call him dad, we call him by his name. That's what he wanted us to do when we were born, so go figure.
2007-10-17 18:03:34 · update #3
I'm sorry, I know a little about what that's like, my brother is exactly the same way.
It's really hard, the only thing you can do is join a support group and maybe try an intervention, that never worked with my brother but at least I feel better now, I know I did everything that I could and whatever he decides is up to him and not my problem. Still hard though, good luck!
2007-10-17 18:14:10 · answer #1 · answered by Daisy Indigo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that the way he wants to live his life then just keep him away from Ur's Yes he is Ur biological dad but he sounds nothing like a loving father...... he needs to grow up ! You just keep going on with Ur life as if u don't have a dad.. ...... The Drugs killed Ur dad a long time ago :(
Just be happy that U arent on the streets living the druggie life.
2007-10-17 18:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advise is to tell him how you feel and how you would like him to change. If he doesn't seem interested or doesn't seem to care then you can keep trying or just let go, it sucks, but I just started to leave my dad alone, I could handle to watch what was going on anymore, but thats they way he wanted his life to be. I refused to put myself through that. Good luck.
2007-10-17 18:00:44 · answer #3 · answered by proud parent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor darling what a wonderful caring son you are but don't waste anymore of your energy or time on somebody that doesn't care about himself or anyone else. Get on with your life and just be there for him if he does finally wake up to himself.
Have a magic day!!!
2007-10-17 19:08:17 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy pirate 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Change your phone numbers and sever all connections to the bum. He'll never change and only make your life miserable if you have anything to do with him. .
2007-10-17 18:05:31 · answer #5 · answered by sailorboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have any contact with him.
Don't let him know where you live.
Don't call him.
Don't let him call you... block his number.
You don't owe him anything.
He is beyond helping and he will only bring you misery.
Your family is often your first obstacle to overcome.
2007-10-17 18:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not dont let this get to you ur fathers a major dick head dont let him control your life. take his grilfriend to another house like her moms.
2007-10-17 18:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by jwallman24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋