Brother read diary!? HELP ME!! :( URGENT?

Question

Ok well I have had this diary for 3 years now. I haven't written in it much and there is only one thing I regret ever righting in there. Well two years ago my mom died in a car crash. I was angry, confused, hurt, and stupid so I wrote this: "Ug I hate Derek (my brother)! HE IS THE WHOLE REASON WHY MOM DIED! If only he didn't need to be picked up from his stupid running class mom would still be alive! I HATE HIM!! I will never forgive him!" He unfortunately read that. We have been best friends since a month after my mom died because we moved from place to place, country to country, always having problems with paying for things, so we relied on each other being the older siblings (I am now 16 he is now 18). Now he is locked in his room, and won't talk to me. I don't care that he read my diary so much it is just I feel so stupid! How could I do that! He won't open his door? How can I talk to him. I can't get my Dad he is at church with my other 2 sisters. What should I do??

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! This helped a lot! We finally sat down and talked! Thank you everyone. I ended up talking through the door and he finally opened up. I could tell that he was crying, I am guessing that is why he wouldn't open the door. Thank you!

Answer 1

He's probably hurt because he more than likely blamed himself for your mom's death too. Reassure him that you don't feel that way anymore and that you were just reacting to a situation that you never had to encounter before; it's stressful for anyone, especially children. People go through several different emotions when they have to face losing someone they love and it's very common to blame anyone and everyone. Time allows people to see things more clearly and heal.

Also, let him know that having him as your brother means a lot to you and you wouldn't trade anything in the world for him. Most of all, be honest about your feelings; he may open up to you about feelings of his own. If you have to talk through a closed door, so be it, but insist on having a chance to talk.

Answer 2

I'd st down right now and write a note to him telling him why and when you wrote it and then telling him how you feel about him now, how he's helped you over the years and especially how you don't blame him in anyway for the accident that took your Mum.Tell him all the things you wouldn't say face to face, like how you love him and how much he means to you. Then at the end say I've fixed you a sandwich or something and tell him t's waiting in the kitchen. THis gives him an excuse to come out of his room without feeling silly. You guys will sort this out. He's just feeling hurt and upset and also reading your diary from around the time the accident happened will bring back emories for him too....and probably a part of him will feel guilty(unjustly) he just needs reassurance. Good luck

Answer 3

I suggest you slip a note under the door saying something like this:

Dear Brother,

I love you very much and I don't know what I'd do without you in my life.

I regret writing those words you read. Those words came from my own hurt and grief. At that age I really was looking for someone to blame, just to make sense of things. The words are not true. They were an abnormal response to the terrible tragedy in our lives. Mom is gone and it was nobodys' fault.
We have to stick together to survive.

I am so sorry. Will you please accept my apology and be my best friend again?

Without your love and fogiveness, it will be hard for me to go on.

I love you so much, Brother.

Sincerely,
Your sister, Maria

Then go away from the door and leave him alone. Don't mention it again. He needs some space to get things worked out in his own mind.

God bless you all.

Answer 4

why dont you try to tell him that you were angry confused and hurt when you wrote that and that people die everyday in car crashes and that God chose yur mom to be his next angel. he needs to understand that when your born... youre given a certain amount of time to live... God has already planned that out. and her time ran out at that moment. it had nothing to do with him OR his running class.. tell him you didnt mean it and youre VERY VERY sorry for even thinking that! BTW im VERY sorry to hear about your mom. I dont know what i would do without mine. just next time when you write something like that... rip it up after youre done. EVEN if it is in your diary. stuff like that tends to get in the wrong peoples hands. I really hope this helps!
=)
Jennifer

Answer 5

try to explain to him that at the time you wrote it your were angry with everything. and that you did not mean it. tell him that you are sorry he read it and that it means nothing now. that you were trying to figure out why your mom was taken from you. and that you were just lashing out with your words that was supposed to be private and just for you. just make sure he understands that you no longer feel that way and that the feeling was just at that time when you were so hurt and angry. good luck. and let him know how much you love him.

Answer 6

sry bout ur mom.i think u should have a talk with him and even if he doesnt open his door u can talk outside and hope he listens which he probably will but he just doesnt want u 2 know he is.good luck

Answer 7

A wise man once told me what you don't want anyone else to know you don't put on paper. Keep an online journal instead and make it private.

Answer 8

maybe give him time you could also write him a note and slip it under the door i hope things work out

Answer 9

make him listen...just sit outside his door and tell him that you were just in shock and that you were angry and it had nothing to do with him...just keep telling him that and he will eventually forgive you.

Answer 10

you just had to tell him you were angry at the time...and that you didn;t know what u were thinking...he should understnad