My husband closed on refinancing his house today. He filled me in on bits and pieces of what he was doing but never really explained his decision to me. We have only been married for 3 months and I gave up a free home, a corporate job and my extended family in another state to move here. I learned about the closing yesterday, confronted him about it, he felt obligated to invite me this evening to it. I have been struggling to find the right job here and when I first moved he made me feel as if he would help me out much more than he has...his life has continued while I am worried about my future. I felt I made the right decision, not for money or my own materialistic gain. I doubt my decision now. He refinanced to pay off all of his bills and rebuild his credit, not discussing it with me. I said I was worried about my future he said he would try and help me rebuild and "see" if he could put me on his life ins. policy. He is leaving it to his 28 yo hx of drug use son. Help pleas
2007-10-17 16:38:43 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's no power balance, he's holding all the cards mami. I think you already know everything deep inside yourself. I mean this sounds like a crazy situation, but when ur in the eye of the storm you just don't know how bad things are getting around you. He's got all the power and you've left yourself in a situation where you WILL be taken for granted, just another chore in his list of things to do. Find a way to get some power back, don't whither away. Go through the tough times now and force your security and your future will be a lot smoother. If you just chill and do nothing now, you'll be sealing your fate. You already knew the answer to your question before you were finished writing it. Stay strong and resolute, this is your life you're talking about! Peace, Cool Breeze
2007-10-17 16:55:15 · answer #1 · answered by Sam G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of that's time you look at your marriage and make a determination. do you opt to proceed like that? My husband did the comparable to me, he thoroughly disregarded me precise after our marriage and that i attempted to talk to him quite a few cases yet to no avail. You stated he isn't gay, he would not touch you in any respect (does it propose no intercourse besides?). 3 years is an extremely long term and that i does no longer wait that long for absolutely everyone except there is an extremely solid reason. My concern is that he may be giving his love and affection to a diverse woman as replaced into the case with my husband. examine him out, word him heavily devoid of elevating suspicions and notice whether he's into some thing fishy or no longer. it would the explanation why he's behaving this sort. you additionally must try counseling, it would help the two one in each and every of you to p.c. out the topics you're dealing with on your marriage.
2016-10-04 01:44:07 · answer #2 · answered by baquero 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out! Get out before you have any kids! I suggest getting an annulment, going back to your old city and trying to get your job back. You have already sacrificed far to much of yourself while he has not considered you in any of his decision making. Trust me as someone who is now scrapping just to feed my three kids and pay 600.00 a month in rent. Get out while you are ahead, love is not enough reason alone to put yourself through hell and I'd bet he will soon be taking you on a first class ride there. Get out while you have no children to take through the ringer with you in some states finding out about a person's adverse financial status right after marriage is grounds for annulment. Get one quick
2007-10-17 19:32:17 · answer #3 · answered by free 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the? You two need to sit down and sort this things out now and fast. Some men are not used to having to discuss what they do and perhaps he is trying to clear his slate so that you have a better start. Clearing debt is a good thing. You need to be moving forward together. If he is not prepared to do this get out fast.
2007-10-17 16:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by Pure Star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long did you know this guy before you married him? Sounds fishy to me and certainly not like a partnership that a marriage should be. Ask him to go to counselling with you to try to work through your trust issues as a couple (clearly he does not trust you with his financial information) and if he refuses or that doesn't work out, chalk it up to a lesson learned and go back home without him and resume your life.
Best of luck!
2007-10-17 16:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where has society gone? It used to be that you would be worried about the future not "your" future. Your future should be with your husband and his future should be with you. You two became one flesh. If you are worried about "your future", maybe you should not have gotten married.
However, now that you are, I recommend that you both find a minister that encourages the family and discourages divorce and ask him for some counsel.
2007-10-17 16:49:25 · answer #6 · answered by nikaloferanti 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay... so three months in and you are having doubts... guess what? You just wasted a whole lot of peoples time.
You wasted your ex-bosses time.
You wasted your co-workers time.
You wasted your friend's time.
You wasted your family's time by having that wedding.
You wasted his time.
Most importantly, you wasted your time.
Why get married and have doubts? He may have acted "weird" according to you but he's not the one looking to end the marriage. You are the weird one.
2007-10-17 16:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by darmonx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's taking care of his financial matters that came before you.
apparently, had a life, previous wife and kids and he's securing their future.
do the same for yourself and then you two can rebuild together a separate financial situation. good luck
2007-10-17 16:50:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live, but in the state of Texas, once married?...his house is your house! I say divorce him, have your lawyer make the sale of the house something that has to be done, and get half the money.
2007-10-17 16:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by Corona 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you seriously want help? Petition the courts for an annulment fast... this is not going to turn out well for you.
2007-10-17 16:43:04 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋