Why does this seem to be the case in marraige?

Question

I have a happy marraige but my husband and I work and invest and work very hard to achieve this. I hear more and more and more couples who are married getting divorced, cheating on their spouse even on line, why are a lot of marriages unhappy?
How does a couple on thier wedding day filled with happiness and joy and love to I hate you and I dont love you anymore?
It is almost that marraige has become an option instead of a priority. Do you think there are more happy couples or unhappy couples now a days?

Answer 1

Basically, people are selfish. As soon as they don't get what they want they begin to explore other options without regard for others. People have lost track of how to put others first and really care about one another. As long as people live for themselves, it's just how life will be for them. We've even lost track of the line between right and wrong, and the grey area in the middle has grown to encompass most of what wasn't acceptable even 30 years ago. People need to put God first, and when they live their life with that priority everything else will fall into place.

Answer 2

Every couple is different, just because a couple gets divorced doesn't mean they are unhappy, there are so many reasons why marriages don't work. Sometimes couples just grow in different directions. Their priorities change as they mature, she wants the white picket fence and 2.5 kids (I wonder where that .5 kid comes from?) while he decides that he wants the highrise condo in the city and corporate lifestyle. That doesn't mean they hate each other. Some marriages end due to abuse, be it mental, emotional, verbal or physical it all hurts and no one should stay in a marriage that would tear them down to nothingness. Another reason is that the couple are in such a rush to NEVER be alone that they marry whomever comes along without really getting to know that person and after the honey moon ends they find out that the icon of perfectiont they THOUGHT they married is really only human afterall. Frankly marriage SHOULD be an option. Not everyone is made to get married (I know that I'm not and I know I never should have gotten married in the first place) It is society that can't believe that people CAN be happy without being married and that sometimes having children without "benefit" of marriage is better for a family than being miserable in a marriage. There is quite a difference in being a parent and being a spouse. I would have dozens of children if I could...I held off getting married until it became a financial necessity, I don't regret it because the marriage produced my daughter, but I would have been just fine having her without getting married, I raised her myself anyway...and since the divorce we all have been much happier...I won't do it again.

Answer 3

I think I say this alot, but I think alot of couples that make that long winding path down the rocky road to divorce, do so because God was not a part of their lives. The family is the core of all things stable and happy in life, and if God is allowed to lead it, and both spouses work at it, the marriage will be rock solid. My wife and I came very close to a seperation, but returned to church and focused on our marriage and surrounded ourselves with other married people of the same faith, and that has helped alot. I have seen alot of questions posted here by people asking about their options and saying how Christian they are, and in the same paragraph mention how they can't keep their attention off some other woman or some other man. I don't judge. I only answer your question.. if they choose to try it on their own, divorce is around the corner. Alot of people who are married or divorced, say how unhappy they are, and find that to be a good reason for divorce. If married people will be that selfish that they will break their family up because they aren't happy, what else will they throw away in their own greed? People walk away from everything stable too easily, and are not willing to put forth the effort required to make the marriage work. They had no trouble making the pre-marital relationship work, or they wouldn't have gotten married. They reach the wedding steps, and think they made it to the end, and now they don't have to do anything. Marriage is the beginning, not the end.

Answer 4

They allow the ups and downs of life to get in the way of seeing the person they originally married. If each person took responsibility for their life and the choices they made there would be less blame, disagreement and arguments in marriage. A positive attitude helps also; without it, you create your own negativity in your life. You can't enter marriage thinking it is a fairy tale or it will fix all your problems. It is to share your life with someone; not dominate or change or disrespect each other.

Well, most of the marriages I have seen have been happy but you really only hear about the ones that aren't. Also, I think many want 'immediate gratification' and do not wish to put the time and work and effort into it; when the going gets rough, they get going. Funny thing is; many repeat the same pattern over and over again because they are unrealistic about what relationships really are.

Answer 5

The divorce rate now compared to back in the 70's is about the same , it's just now that we have the internet its a lot more out there and not a dirty little secret families keep to protect their family name and heritage.

As people mature during their marriage they have a choice of maturing together and keeping their interests in line with their spouse or to mature seperately which leads to cheating , lying , back stabbing and divorcing.

The biggest mistake is people blaming the wife or just the female lover/male lover involved in the betrayel that occurs when the cheating spouse involves them.

If you choose to ignore your own needs and the needs of your spouse divorce is inevitable so dont just think that if you've been married or living as married for 4 or 5 years kids or no kids that you shouldnt try to keep the spark alive anymore .

Answer 6

I'm trying to figure that out myself. After 5 wonderful children and 13 years of marriage, my wife decided to get ahuge tattoo, go to the clubs, stay out all night, log in 500 minutes in one month with the cop 2 doors down, have several correspondences with local guys online and now...divorce. Yeah, we have been busy w/kids for the past 10 years but its been 3 years since our last birth and she has lost all weight and is looking good. My counseler (i really need it) says mid-life-crisis! 40 and single again

Answer 7

The selfish attitudes of people that contribute to divorce rates were prophecied to happen. Jesus said that in the last days "the love of the greater number would cool off." In 2 Timothy chapter 3 vs 1-5, the apostle Paul lists what people would be like in the last days. "Men will be lovers of themselves..unthankful...disloyal..no natural affection...not open to any agreement...without self control...betrayers...." and so forth.

Answer 8

Commitment and a real marriage is hard. Selfishness and giving in to easy temptation and cheating is easy.

work together and in years you will be proud that you made it.

Communicate. Choose goals together. Be honest. Props if you can do it.

Answer 9

It does seem like so many couples are getting divorced and it's so sad! Your right, people do not put there marriages first.

Answer 10

Break up your questions. If you pack too much into your question, nobody can seriously answer them in one night.