A great marriage requires a good deal more than a ceremony ending with a kiss and a certified license. A great marriage demands nonstop nurturing, mutual attention, constant cooperation, joint effort, abundant affection, two-way communication, and a heaping helping of hard work.
Wherever you turn, you see marriages dissolving into divorce; couples once head over heels in love now snarl and snipe at one another.
Whether you are newly married or celebrating your golden anniversary, the gentle reminders that i will post in this section will assist you in strengthening your commitment to your mate and creating a great marriage--a marriage made to last "'til death do us part."
What steps can you take to protect your marriage against such fate?
2007-10-17 16:07:14 · 11 answers · asked by A.Ryan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
by the way, i'm 23, turning 24 this coming dec.
i'm married for 3yrs & it wil be 4th by May of next year.
i have 2 lovely daughters namely Magenta Zyla(3yrs old) and Uana Zekiel (1yr old)
my wife is 2yrs older than me.
i married my wife after 3 years of boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
we have a lot of fights & arguments like other normal couples had.
we even reach to the point of breaking & saying it's over, we totally have a different poles of attitude & character.
i began to know Jesus, i surrender my life to Him & let Him hold me & my wifes hand & allow Him to be the foundation of our marriage & relationship.
everyday now is a process of breaking the old man, changing & molding me & my wife to a better us for His glory.
i wanna share my life an open book to everyone who also is in the dark searching for light. i was once in the same situation but the Lord took me & help me to stand up again & live for his purpose.
wait for the first topic so we can discuss & share to each other.
2007-10-17 17:30:06 · update #1
i know our marriage has a very long way to go, but as we walk together day-by-day, if the Lord is holding both of our hands, who or what can tear it apart, nothing.
2007-10-17 17:32:37 · update #2
All these answers are well and good. But if you want to stay together and get closer - you need to be moving toward a common goal.
If you are moving toward a goal and she is moving toward a different goal you might be moving apart. But, fix your eyes on one thing and travel in that direction. If she fixes her eyes on that same thing, then as you each move closer to that thing you begin to come together.
Now, this "thing" should be something that will not change or move or falter or dim. Hmmmm? What could that thing be? Maybe God. Live a Godly life. Serve Him. Marry a Godly woman. Keep getting closer to him and help each other get closer to Him and you will draw closer to one another.
2007-10-17 16:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by onparadisebeach 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the whole thing. Making the person understand whats going on with you and also knowing when not to bother them. If you get into an argument and it gets too heated then you have to call a time out and leave it a lone for awhile but come back to it later. You also have to never say the "D" word. It just is not an option. If you keep divorve in the back of your mind then that is probably waht will happen. Forgiveness is very important. No one is perfect. Everyone screws up, or says stupid things.
2007-10-17 16:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by didderjiddit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get to KNOW you partner really well BEFORE deciding to get married. Know what their priorities are (kids, work, finances,etc), what's important to them, what matters and what doesn't, and see how that compares to what's important to you.
If you are not prepared to make sacrifices, adjustments, have patience, to work at it, DON'T GET MARRIED. Without commitment, it can't work.
Realize at the start, it is NOT going to be perfect. Its NOT going to be easy all the time. You are two different people, and there are going to be times when you are just not going to agree.
Communicate. Don't assume that your partner should know what's going on in your head. Be fair - not name calling, no insults, no yelling, no raking up things long gone. Talk to them like someone you love and admire, they are NOT the enemy!
Where the problem lies with you, you have to fix it. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge.
Remember that true love is both a feeling and a decision. You might fall in love (but then you can fall out too), but if you decide to commit yourself, heart and soul, to that love, that's when it lasts.
2007-10-17 16:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
N steps really. It sounds like you have a good handle on things. The one piece of advice I will give you is pick your battles.
The two of you may be tempted to tackle every issue that arises in your marriage. But the wise of the married know to let almost everything go... so that when an issue comes up that you feel strongly about, your partner will be more likely to give you your way.
Good luck.
2007-10-17 16:11:54 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound like a broken record, but communication. Which really means knowing your feelings and talking about them before they fester and get ugly and turn into horrible fights. This is something my husband tries and can never seem to master. And if he doesn't, our marriage just won't last. And it's a shame, because he's a good guy. Communication!
2007-10-17 16:12:13 · answer #5 · answered by trapeze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listening with an open mind-not defensiveness and judgment.
Not ending the day with unresolved issues-if you do those issues grow overnight and continue with greater force the next day. Equal responsibility with the house and children, if this doesn't happen the one with the greater responsibility feels under-appreciated and overstressed. Equal time to put yourself number 1 for a time period(having time to yourself). Talking about your day EVERYDAY. When we don't talk we forget HOW to talk. And last-always end things with a kiss and I love you-we always need to reassure and be reassured.
2007-10-17 16:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by lady K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be aware that as individuals you mature at different rates. Interests may differ but by including your spouse in what you are interested in, even if it is only talking and sharing your passion so that your partner is not excluded will make a difference. Honour your partner in everything. Never speak a bad word about your spouse to anyone.
2007-10-17 16:12:47 · answer #7 · answered by Pure Star 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
O.K. you tell me? I am thinking that you are not married and don't know what you are talking about. You have to remember there are two people in a marriage and if one isn't open to doing any work then you have no choice but to either suck it up or to leave.
2007-10-17 16:11:58 · answer #8 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put God 1st and foremost dedicate your marriage unto God and he will make your marriage ministry.
2007-10-17 16:25:47 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs.Tricey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take eachother for granted.
2007-10-17 16:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by scorch_22 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋