Are there any proven adverse effects of grandparents raising infants?

Question

We want to send our child to China with our grandparents from age 7 months to age 11 months. My parents (white) think that we are crazy. I think that thier arguements are mostly emotional though. I have not seen any studies that prove there are any bad effects of sharing the child-raising responsibilities. Also, I much prefer my loving grandparents to raise my child as oppossed to sticking him in daycare for 10 hours a day.

My dad mentioned "attachment theory", and I read up on that a little. It is all theory though, and nothing seems proven. Can anyone point me to a study that compares the IQ, weight, height, happiness, etc (anything) of children raised with grandparents vs. parents?

I know that grandparents rraising children is also much more common in Asian and African socities than in America. Does anyone have statisitcs on how common this is in each society in the world? Thanks you!

Answer 1

I am sure that these societies grandparents raising grandchildren is common - but do they do this in the complete absence of the parents for so many months at a time? Probably not. Either the two of you should go with the baby, or the grandparents should come live with you. But no, separating from your baby completely at this time wouldn't be ideal in any culture.

Answer 2

I think your right, that in other cultures, and even in US history - both parents have always been working, just sometimes out in the fields or churning butter, or whatever, and elders or older siblings have been raising the children until maybe the 1940's. However, I think theres a difference between daily duties, versus 4 months straight.

However, I have no studies for you. I suspect it would be more of an anthropology type study more than child development. Also why not bring the grandparents over? Peaked my curiousity on what the issue is for the 4 months, school, temp assignment, overseas assignment, etc.

Answer 3

Others have mentioned the bonding etc, but I just wondered will your grandparents be getting any help?

It's tiring enough for parents to look after a child when they're well, let alone if the baby is sick. I can't imagine how exhausting it could be for your grandparents.

Answer 4

I dont think it would severely damage your child but remember that it is difficult for any child of any age to adjust to having a completley new caregiver. Especially if they are going to have to switch TWICE - once to go to China with your grandparents, and again when s/he comes back to you. This is incredibly stressful for him/her.

honestly, I couldn't bear being separated from my own child for that long. Your attatchment to that baby will not be the same. And that baby will most likely not remember you when s/he returns. Imagine how hard that could be.

That sounds like a very interesting decision on your hands. Me, personally, I would never even consider it. Its a lot to ask of a great-grandparent to care for a child so young. And it takes a lot away from bonding with your baby.