My babysitter has been babysitting for me for about 2 years now. She has a home daycare. I just had a baby and she is 7 mths. She watches my 7 mth old, 2 year old and picks my 6 year old up from school.
The problem is: Her and her husband are divorcing but still live in the same home. My kids witness them arguing all the time b/c of the husband cheating and the divorce is new. I have only been back to work for 7 weeks and each week she has called off for court, a job interview etc. This forces me to have to find a babysitter at least once a week. The main thing is the arguing though. My husband and I don't argue in front of our children and I don't want it around my children. I feel bad because I am her only income right now and she is already dealing with the divorce issue.
Should I wait for this to tide over or just let her know that I will find another babysitter until her husband moves? Signed -concerned mother.
2007-10-17 12:45:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Follow your gut instinct! That is what it is there for. Your children should NOT be exposed to their problems.
Good luck!
2007-10-17 12:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find another babysitter until things settle down in thier home. I know this has nothing to do with your question however no parent can hide the fact that they are arguing the kids already know by the tention. I think it is healthy for kids to know that there parents have arguements because it also shows the kids that the parents know how to work out problems as well. When they get married they will be in for a big surprise.
2007-10-17 12:53:43 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not put someone else's well being before your children's. By leaving them with this sitter, you are allowing just that (continuing to provide her income, but subjecting your children to this situation). I think you should find another sitter. Right now the sitter you have is going through a really horrible time (Divorce, job seeking, etc..) She cannot focus her attention to the children as she should while she is sitting. If you really like this sitter, maybe find another one temporarily until this one gets through this trying time, and then if she is able and willing, let her continue to sit for you. Right now I would take these children away from this situation, it is not good for them.
2007-10-17 12:55:34 · answer #3 · answered by ♠LISA♠ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has definitely been a blessing for you, and it seems like you greatly appreciate all the help she's been with your children. you care for her, and you know you are her only income, but you have to try and think of it outside the box. meaning, you'll basically have to decide which is of greater importance- being there for her, or being there for your kids. if you guys are close, she'll have to understand that her personal life has to be separated from her job. if she can't do this, because her husband is still around, it pretty much leaves you no choice but to refuse her help anymore. you really have to look out for your children first and foremost. no matter what personal sacrifices and issues may arise. it's up to you to bring them up in the correct atmosphere, and all 3 of them being around constant bickering- voluntarily on your part, so as to support your friend- will not be the best situation. you can try to be there for her, emotionally or however, but not at your kids expense. they're number one, so do what you can to put them in the best atmosphere as possible.
2007-10-17 12:55:59 · answer #4 · answered by lovinit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find another babysitter. Depending on your relationship with her, you could talk to her and let her know the reason - and also tell her that you would be happy to bring your kids back to her when she gets the divorce sorted out.
2007-10-17 12:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you feel bad for her...but your kids absolutly come first! As a mother of three, if I was the slightest bit worried about how my kids were being cared for i'd pull them out in a heart beat. It seems to me by calling out weekly she doesn't care that much about your kids or your money. Hope I don't sound mean...its just kids are more important than hurting someone's feelings.
2007-10-17 12:50:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lolligager 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to feel bad for her but it's your children you need to think of, plus she's unreliable so she's not doing what you pay her to. Tell her that when things get more settled for her, of course you'll come back to her, but that right now, you need somethign more stable and you need your kids to not be exposed that the arguing. It probably makes your kids uncomfortable to see that anyway.
2007-10-18 08:32:57 · answer #7 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are paying her. Your children are your priority, not this woman that you are paying. If I ever had a doubt that my kids were being properly cared for and that someone was arguing in front of them, I would have to pull them and put them somewhere else.
2007-10-17 12:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her your reasons and just a tell her if this happens again you will look else where. That is enough of a fair chance. If things do not get better find a better one and tell her to let you know when she gets these things worked out.
2007-10-17 12:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a new babysitter. she is not reliable if you have to take time off from your job, because she cant do her job, which is watch your children. Besides your kids dont need to witness that DRAMA
2007-10-17 12:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by mudslide_23511 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to discuss this with her and tell her your concerns for your children.
If she doesn't leave her personal life at home before she comes to work you may need to find someone else to care for your children.
Do not feel sorry for her because "You are the ONLY source for her income". say that again to yourself over and over until you see that...YOU are the ONLY source of income!
Sounds like she has taken advantage of you.
2007-10-17 12:52:31 · answer #11 · answered by Numb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋