Why do men ignore issues that uniquely affect members of their gender?

Question

The shorter male lifespan; the fact that the great majority of violent crime is committed by males; and the incredible rate of young male suicide. Are we ashamed to admit our gender is weak in some areas? Or do we only want to discuss things we can blame on feminists?

Loren A, you know that the great majority of men don't commit crimes; why would you stereotype any individual male? Would you stereotype blacks or Jews in this manner?

IS IT ENOUGH TO SAY, "WE HAVE PROBLEMS, WE JUST DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THEM?" SHOULDN'T WE BE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING -- I MEAN, THESE ARE PRETTY SERIOUS PROBLEMS.

SARAH -- BRILLIANT ANALYSIS

Jill s, I agree to a point that, yes, the sexes are different. But that attitude seems resigned to allow real problems to fester. And besides, the fact that the sexes differ does not explain the incredible numbers of young males in our inner cities (as oppsed to everywhere else in the U.S.) who are involved in criminal activity. The vast majority are males. Isn't this something that ought to be discussed? Isn't this, perhaps, the foremost problem in America?

Jill S -- that is not an answer. And I don't think women are better, and you know it. Males are skewed all over the place in a far greater path than women, scientists have proven. This accounts for the incredible number of male geniuses (far more than women) as well as the fact that there are far more males with sub-par IQs than women. It all evens out. The vast majority of men are good, kind, productive citizens. Many are creative in ways women have never been given an opportunity to equal. In short, men have made incomparable contributions to western culture. Merely because I identify problems concerning a relatively small group of males -- problems with which nobody can plausibly disagree --does not mean I hate my own gender. I want to fix the problems, not pretend everything's OK, as you do.

Jill S -- yes, that made sense. Good insight.

Answer 1

One issue that I'd love to see men work on together concerns the education of young boys who are no longer thriving in school relative to girls. Men just don't take an interest. They are apparently o.k. with the phenomena of boys being improperly medicated with amphetamines in lieu of us dealing with the rambunctiousness, unique learning styles, and behavioral differences that boys bring to school. They are conspicuously absent as teachers; they do nothing to allocate funding for improving the situation. It's all just fine with them until the realization that boys are falling behind hits home, then it seems the best they can do is to point fingers at women.

To the person who said men die younger because they spend 45 years in the workforce, what kind of garbage is that? I don't know, maybe the women you know take it easy, but with 23% of children in the U.S. living in single mother households, you're insane if you think that women aren't breaking their backs to survive and to ensure the survival of their children.

Answer 2

Would you rather live long or live strong? Stagnant is no way to be if you ask me! Men are built for a fierce life and burn hot. Sure, we burn out a bit sooner but it was an exciting ride. And you never know what medical science has just around the corner. I certainly don't want to spend many years laying in bed pooping myself, blah!

I asked a few people in the psych profession as to why the male suicide rate is higher. I got this for an answer: When men decide to do something, they get it done. The females end up failing at suicide.

I have a feeling that this sort of conviction and 'go all the way' attitude leads to the crime issue as well. Where a woman would fantasize about smacking some piece of garbage around, a man would just go and do it. And while this person may have deserved a good beating, it was against the law.

It can be applied to many illegal activities. Dreaming about doing it vs. just doing it.

Being headstrong can be a double edged sword, sure. But I know I wouldn't give it up for anything.

For blaming... well, I blame a hell of a lot more things on stupid people in general than I do on feminists.

Answer 3

I havent read all of the responses.....i am feeling lazy. However to answer your question for myself. I would say that most men just dont discuss their problems like woman do. Having many male friends and being male myself, we dont talk about how we feel and what is making us upset. Having many women friends I see a whole other world. Where issues are discussed and brought to light rather then not even mentioned. I am not saying one way is better then the other, but I do feel that women are more in control of their emotions and feelings. Mainly because they deal with them daily rather then pushing them aside. Where they will only fester and build on themselfs.

Answer 4

I think that men are raised to be strong. And part of this being strong is not talking about the issues that affect them. Women are easy, when we are sad we cry, and when we need someone to talk to, we go see a mate and have a good b-tch session. Men in my experience tend to bottle it all up, which can lead to drug use, depression and in some cases suicide.
I do think however that men can be taught how to communicate their feelings just as well as women do. My partner and I have done a lot of work on communication in our relationship and now he recognises when he is feeling a certain way and does something about it. Sometimes men can get so frustrated, because they feel something and they don't even know what it is or where it comes from.
I don't think it is being ashamed. My partner and I had some horrible news when our daughter was born, as she was born with a lung disorder. I fell apart straight away, crying and getting angry and the whole bit. My partner however, withdrew into himself and refused to talk about it. He fell to bits a few months later however and was able to tell me that he felt that he had to stay "strong" for me.

Answer 5

Why are you trying to prejudice all men into a particular minds set?

People must realize that there ARE differences between men and women. Those differences evolved this way for the good of the species. The average man is physically stronger than the average female. The average female lives longer than the average male. The average male does carry more of the hunter instinct than women (all men have some natural "roid rage"). The average woman is designed to nurturer the young.

misogyny or philogyny.... no one is better... just.... different, and rightly so from millions of years of conditioning.

btw.... the longevity issue is most likely attributed to the fact that the mitochondria are better suited for the female environment than the male. Real hard wired differences.


ADDED:

Why don't we address violent crimes as a category instead of saying "why are men committing crimes?" Of course men are going to commit more of the violent crimes. This doesn't change if the crime rate is high or low. There are so many other factors that effect crime rates. Poverty for example.

You're just trying to find a reason to blame men for the problems in society.

"the fact that the sexes differ does not explain the incredible numbers of young males in our inner cities (as oppsed to everywhere else in the U.S.) who are involved in criminal activity. The vast majority are males...... Isn't this, perhaps, the foremost problem in America?"

Males are more agressive than females... period. So the differences in representation in violent crimes makes TOTAL sense. This is what you would EXPECT to find in the statistics. It is normal. The only way to fix this would be to alter men's hormone levels and play God.

It is like asking why women are better at breast feeding babies. They are NATURAL diffences. The problem isn't men or women. The problem is violence or depression.

Your question shows that you are prejudice against men.
"reverse discrimination"
Quit trying to prove women are better or men are inferior and just accept that men and women are different and that is OK.

ADDED
I think the answer to your question is really already in what I said... though not said directly. Your initial question begins with "why do men".... assuming all are the same. Why do men ignore these issues?... why are men as a group less likely to seek needed medical care... why are men as a group less likely to seek psychological care... Who we are and how we think begins with our genetics, and then develops through our life experiences.

90% of annorexia victims are females. The stereotypical "macho" attitude is comparable to this when it becomes detrimental to the individual. Perhaps men are ashamed to admit the gender is weak in some ways... it isn't the image society projects as expected.

The irony of all this is that gay men who break these "gender role" expectations of society are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than their "macho" heterosexual counterparts.

So the answer... perhaps men are genetically and culturally predisposed to apathy towards addressing these issues in themselves.

I hope that made some sense... I'm very tired and going to bed now. Have a good night.

Answer 6

Good question. And feminism can't be blamed. Men have been the more violent sex for thousands of years.

My guess as to why this is not discussed is because many people (both males and females) still use the "boys will be boys" excuse for bad behavior. In other words, males cannot control their anger.

I don't agree with this way of thinking. Just trying to answer your question.

Answer 7

Men, in general, do not ignore these issues. In cases of those who do, it's called "denial". People tend to want to believe bad news won't happen to them, and that most people will rationalize things the way they do, so they will find a line of reasoning that fits their belief system (blaming male violence on bad mothering, for example). This is why humanity invented the study of psychology. We're complex creatures. Oh, and BTW: the pioneers of psychology were men, although I bet they hashed out some of their best ideas with friends or lovers who were women. It takes all kinds.

Answer 8

confident, yet you be attentive to the reality, i think of it style of feels lots of the time. in many situations the deceased is considered first and then confident, their survivors who're for sure no longer in basic terms women human beings. you don't be attentive to why human beings say issues. it would desire to be schedule loaded or it would desire to be a parent of speach. it is likewise the reality, although lacking the point out of fellows in basic terms on your occasion. i do no longer see that happening everywhere. ok, while a dispute occurs, yet another theory is don't think each and everything you study as a shelter on your own sanity, are you able to and do you have self assurance all reality is included leaving gender out? If women folk and men anybody is programmed to think of, whats up, all I might desire to is lie and that i've got have been given skill over a guy or a women human beings, how's approximately skill over yet somebody else who they do no longer look to be treating as man or woman already - to that end cancels out skill and information. men might desire to steer this in the different path----------->don't get the incorrect impact and see this as a sexist commentary. i'm a female, confident. wo*guy* evaluate the third-occasion source. solid question DBJ

Answer 9

Thank you for asking this question. It seems, you've managed to touch a nerve here. One of the causes is the way male children are raised: they are taught to hide their emotions, pretending to be always strong and able to handle anything that life throws at them in stride. What it probably does is making them emotionally numb most of the time. It also does not prepare them for life's changes / trials... not very well. Somehow, women are much more equipped to handle emotional turbulence of life, because we exercise our heart from time to time with analysis and public discussions of our troubles. We rarely kill ourselves, because we know how to redirect our emotions, when things get too intense. We also do not take as many risks with our lives, because we worry about not hurting the most important people in our lives.

In short, I would say that unfortunately men act like small kids, when it comes to their problems: they pretend that nothing is wrong. Numbness is not healthy, but it does give them some sort of a peace of mind for a moment. And it is good enough for them.

Answer 10

I think the shorter lifespan is being debunked as a byproduct of being in a workforce for 45 years, and not a gender thing. The other issues are spot-on though, the issues of men seem to be all linked to the effect of testosterone. That's the cause, so what are the effects and how is the best way to properly re-role the male in society from the conflict, greed, 'fighter' to a more useful modern day coooperative 'guardian'.