Is it normal after two years to start having ill feelings about your husband?

Question

I was so happy to marry my husband he is everything I want in a man but lately everything he does gets on my nerves i will look at him and just want to hit him i try not to let things get to me but he is really annoying me I feel bad because i love him how can i get over this. Here is an example he comes in and leaves a trail of clothes i spoke to him about it he tried to fix it but now leaves the clothes in the bathroom one room to another instead of a trail it 's the bathroom . I no i could just pick it up , it 's not that big of deal but it really annoyes me he will use the bathroom {a number 2 } and leave the door open. I no i should just go close the door their are more important battles to pick and in a marrigae you do things for each other but small things are really getting on my nerves and i don't want to be a nag and complain every 5 min. how can i pass these feelings i am having about him

Answer 1

First, the things that irritate you are things that irritate many many many married women. Like, why can't my husband manage to get his dirty laundry in the hamper even if it is only 5 feet from the bed?

Men are wired different than women for one thing. While we think it's obvious that you should put dirty laundry away and close the door when you're going to the bathroom, some men just don't. Not to totally excuse the behavior. It isn't something he's doing to annoy you by any means.

Maybe you should talk to him about these things when you aren't annoyed. Or sometimes I'll turn it into a joke, so he doesn't get offended but he still gets the point.

Just one last thing-- in an interview an old couple was asked what the secret to a good, lasting marriage was, and they said, "Never falling out of love at the same time".

Answer 2

Sure it is normal to be annoyed with him but stupid to let it affect your marriage. If your biggest complaints are that he drops his clothes in the floor and leaves the door open when he takes a dump then you have a wonderful marriage that should last a long, long time.

Ignore the little things and save your strength for the big ones down the road.

As for his clothes, make sure there is a hamper in the bathroom and only wash what is in it. When he runs out of clean underware he will realize you are serious. As for the bathroom door might as well forget it and move on, that is one thing I have never gotten my husband to do and never will

Good luck

Answer 3

Haha the clothes thing I dealt with! I joke with him about it, but he knows I am serious... I recently bought a laundry hamper with two units - one side for the darks and the other side for the whites. I put it right in our room and showed him how cool it is! You can take one side off at a time and bring it down to the laundry room to do laundry. It's so nice because your laundry is already sorted for you, I like using it too!! (we both had the laundry problem).

Gentle reminders and humour work in my relationship. When he does a #2 I ask him to let me know first incase I have to use the washroom... lol I tell him he's lethal! We can laugh and joke about it, but he knows that the smell isn't cool, so he'll warn me, spray the bathroom afterwards, and shut the door with the vent on.

Basically, nagging never works - it only pulls you apart, think of more creative and fun ways to get to him.

Answer 4

I guess the honeymoon period is over and the reality has set in. Just joke with him about the things he annoys you with so you don't seem like such a nag - for example, the toilet thing, just tell him that he is letting the stench out and you think you are going to die if he doesn't close the door, I think he will get the picture. In regards to the clothes, just don't wash them if they don't make it to the laundry basket, collect the clothes, fold them up and put them away dirty, when he realises they aren't washed just say that maybe next time they will make the wash if they are put in the right place.

Answer 5

Well i had the same problem with my husband i tried yelling at him when he would leave his clothes or did not close the bathroom door, but it didn't work i was going crazy. I found that the best way of doing it is to not get annoyed and just ask them in a nice way that worked for me!

good luck !

Answer 6

don't you know you marry a man to raise him.........lol it is part of being married and learning to live with eachother. It is just like having a nasty room mate, difference is, it is not to easy to kick this room mate out. I think you have to remind him to do these thing without being a nag. Tell him if he wants to be treated like a child then you will treat him like one. Make him get of the couch and pick his clothes up. Sometime you gotta show tough love.

Answer 7

This is pretty normal, depending on how strong your "ill feelings" are. Are these little things the ONLY things that bother you? Is there more???

I would get upset over little things like what you mentioned, but what really was bothering me was that he was getting to continue to act like a kid, while I had to grow up and take care of our child and home.

If they are just little things, you just have to learn to pick your battles....because if you love him, it's worth it.

Answer 8

No, it is perfectly normal. By your comments, I would guess that approximately when this nerve-getting-on started, you were just starting the we-are-ceasing-to-have-sex-from-now-on phase of marriage. He is so unhappy from the lack of sex he's getting out of this 'marriage' that his actions are now uncontrollable.

Have sex with the man for christ's sake.

Answer 9

remind yourself what is REALLY important.. these stupid habbits, or an otherwise loving husband. I'm sure you have some quirks yourself that he doesn't care for either.

Answer 10

Keep reminding yourself why you married him and think of all the positive qualities. Boost him up as often as you can, and see if this doesn't get him to start doing things that please you.