Please advise........I'm afraid my husband will divorce me because of following reasons:?

Question

1. I'm an Indian Hindu girl married for one & a half years now.One year after marriage,due to certain reasons,I developed diabetes.

2. Also because of certain health reasons,I'm unable to conceive.But this problem was not detected even 1 month before marriage as all my test reports were normal at that time & I had full potential to bear kids.

My husband,his parents & relatives are extremely frustrated as I have developed diabetes & infertility immediately after marriage & also unable to conceive,& think my parents cheated them,although all my medical test reports just 1 month before marriage were totally normal.Still they accuse us of cheating them.Therefore they also keep forcing my family to treat me & pay for my expenses,without realizing my father is nearing retirement, while my husband doesn't want to contribute at all.

So can my husband ask for a divorce on grounds of "cheating" which never happened.?Please reply.

Answer 1

tell him you didnt do anything to them...its an illness...i sure hope he wont do that...what about your feelings? poor thing.
what about adoption?

Answer 2

I'm no lawyer, but I'm sure that if this did happen and he did try to divorce you he would have to prove that you knew this before you were married. You have proof that you were able to conceive right before the marriage, thus the time the alliance was arranged.

Personally, I think this is wrong and because of the rude behaviour by the in laws and your husband, I think you would be better off without them. Don't think that you will not find anyone else. It is better to live alone then with a person who doesn't love (it seems like) or doesn't trust you.

Answer 3

If I were you I would pray that my husband asks for a divorce why would you want to be with someone that's more interested in their selfish concerns than you health.

If I were you I'd leave that marriage because all that pressure is only going to make your dis-ease worse. Also you may want to start looking into alternative medicine to control your diabetes. I know of two people that have no diabetes symptoms at all and they just changed their diets and took a few supplements and some moderate exercise.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

You are going to get a lot of cross culture confusion on this one. From a protestant Christian perspective, our vows say "in sickness and in health, for better or worse until death do us part." What you described falls under this contract and if you were in our culture, you should work through these problems with your husband by your side (and he should stick with you). Even if that means you are getting insulin shots for the rest of your life and you adopt. But infertility (best friends went through this) puts a strain on a marriage and some of them fall apart on their own. But some do the right thing and stick with it.

Dr. Laura gives grounds for divorce as the three A's, Abuse (physical), Alcohol (and drugs) Abuse & Adultry.

Do protestant marriages end in divorce outside of all this...yep because people are human.

Now I think your asking because this is an arranged marriage and it may be considered grounds for divorce in your culture. You should pay more attention to those who are in your culture and not many of the posters here. This kind of makes it all sound like a business transaction. The parents can fight over the business deal but I think you need to take the "Is this our marriage or theirs?" question to your husband. This is when Love should hold you together and it sound like his is being tested and he has missed the first question.

Answer 5

Here's what I would do: Take my husband to the doctor with me to hear and see for himself what is truly going on. To divorce on grounds of cheating, I would think there would have to be some kind of substantial proof not just "he said, she said". However, if he doesn't value you enough to be empathatic and caring about your health issues, then maybe you should let him go ask for divorce-- you deserve to be loved, respected, and trusted.

**edit** Looking at your previous questions, it sounds as if you are miserable in your marriage! It might be a blessing in disguise if he leaves you. I know that divorce is looked upon differently around the world, so I'm sorry if this advice doesn't help or comfort you.

Answer 6

Divorce

Answer 7

First and foremost, I would gather from your question and the info provided that this was an arranged marriage and as such they do "expect" you, in a way, to produce offspring. This is part of the culture as I understand. Am I way off base. Second if you have uncontrolled diabetes type II than I am not surprised that you have had trouble conceiving. The sugar that is in your fluids makes it very difficult not only for the sperm to survive but also for the egg to attach. There is a possibilty that when you get your diabetes under control that you will be able to conceive. Check into a drug called Glucophage it has proved helpful to a lot of women in your situation as it not only helps the diabetes but also helps some ovary disorders.Hope i was of some help.

Answer 8

I do not think he can file a suit to get rid of you on the grounds of cheating as medical history proves that you were normal even one month before your marriage.
There should be solid reasons to grant divorce by courts. Before considering any divorce hearings courts will always see if there is any chance for the couple to patch up and unite.
You say you have diabetes and unbale to conceive. But these things have to be proved by competent authorities.
However, I suggest you talk to him and findout his grievance and also his further course of action. You should also understand that it is the duty of the husband to look after the wife even if it involves spending money for hospital expenses. I think he is trying to escape from his responsibilities so that his money will remain intact.

Answer 9

Ur husband can never divorce on the basis of cheating..Common yaar..!! Court will alwaz give the verdict in favour of u only( Dont think abt it at all).Infact u can ask for heavy settlement for divorce.

U have to b smart. See!!! Ur husband feels cheated thats y he is behaving n this manner.U can try the followings:

1.Try to convince him that u didnt know abt it and u didnt cheat him(It is hard to do but u can give it a try).

2.Suggest him if BABY is the main issue, then we can adopt or we can go for a surrogate mother( Remind him CHORI CHORI CHUPKE CHUPKE movie).

3.Check if u can check ur diabeties or not(Taking loans,Medical insurances).

3. If he discard the above options then I wud say he is nt ahuman being,and if he is nt a human being hw u expect him to b good husband.

See Honey..!!! U have to b very strong.If he continues to scold u ,then i wud suggest leave and b independent. Get a job and leave independently. Dont b a typical Indian nari like( Meri arthi mere pati ke ghar se hi nikelegi). Fight, struggle take risk. I agree that intially u will face lot of problem but at last u will win. One ofmy cousin sister faced tha same problem ,she tried to convince her husband and when he didnt agree she kicked him and picked a job and she is married to a new fellow as well.
In india for 800 girls there are 1000 men, I assure u will get a nice one as 200 men are still waiting for u . Go ahead u have one life and this is the call. Prove that u r husband was wrong and give him a reson he will regret till his last breath that y i did this to her??? Best of luk......

Answer 10

as per law your husband should be the one paying for your treatment. what happens subsequent to marriage does not amount to concealment of facts or fraud. if you were not aware that you were diabetic and unable to conceive then your husband has no grounds to go for divorce. what your husband is doing is against the law, but how you deal with it is left to the both of you until you approach the law for a remedy.

since you are qualified, educated and earning why dont you divorce your husband and find some one else ? it looks like your husband does not love you or want you in his life and your future with him is not going to be pleasant. it may be better for you to cut your losses now instead of later.

you can also separate from your husband and keep your marriage intact and do what you want as you have reasonable grounds not to live with your husband as per law.

Answer 11

This is very difficult because it is more so a cultural thing.
You & your husband both should have a consultation with your doctor (Gyno) so that he can clearly cover cause and effects and solutions. Your insurance normally pays for 45 minute consultations, so verify. You're young, so anything can possibly happen, hopefully your health improving..Bless you.