I have been married to my husband for 18 years. He has let me stay home with the kids for most of this time. He is loyal and honest and has a decent job. The one fault he has is he is jealous of other men. He has visited me at the few jobs I have worked at and, unfortunately, he walked in during the times when other men have been close to me. One of those times my coworker was really close. I also made the mistake of telling him about the three other men at another job inviting me to bed with them. I am a very friendly person and, I’ll admit, I like the attention. He does have bad timing when it comes to going to the gym with me too. One of those times he watched a man follow me into the darkened room to talk to me. He also caught me trying to get a hold of my old boyfriend (he caught us having sex two weeks before we got married). I still attract the men and he seems to get more and more jealous. Is he normal????? Or just insecure????
2007-10-17 10:32:16 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's normal, your the messed up one!
2007-10-17 10:45:31 · answer #1 · answered by rainydaze 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a little insecurity but I think you're an instigator. Instead of helping him build his self-confidence you're just doing stuff to make him more insecure. Telling him about other men wanting to bed you was just stupid. I wonder if you don't do it in order to belittle him and make him feel small. Walking into a darkened area with a guy, again are you're just doing it on purpose?
When I met my wife I was very insecure and she helped me get over my insecurities an now we have the most profoundest of trust. You'll never have that if you don't stop your instigating.
I think you are more insecure than him if you feel the need to get all this attention you're getting.
In life often others aren't the problem we are.
2007-10-17 10:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your husband is not the one with the problem.
-You are the one with the problem.
You know what makes a man jealous. Quit your crap already.
It seems that you purposely make him jealous for attention. That isn't cool at all. He is your husband, not just some guy you met yesterday. If you honestly love your husband, you wouldn't do that to him. If the situation was reversed, you wouldn't like it. If you keep this immature games up, you will loose him to another woman. It is about time to re-evaluate your marriage and take a look at what type of foundation you are building it on. Is 18 years worth throwing away? Trust me, he will get tired of that and give up. You need to talk things out with your husband and let him know how you feel. You both need to rekindle your relationship. If you feel that you are not getting the attention you deserve from your husband, tell him straight out without playing those foolish games. If you don't love your husband, let him go. Don' keep hurting each other. -Good luck and God Bless.
2007-10-17 10:49:55 · answer #3 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is very insecure but actually I am not surprised....he caught you having naughties just before you got married to him! Also, my husband says that I am friendly too and he gets jealous - friendly women give off the wrong message to other men apparently - it seems that we think we are being pleasant and good company but other men think we want to bed them. Your husband knows what is going on inside the heads of other men and sees you as an attractive woman. No doubt he wants to shove you in an ivory tower and keep you from having contact with the outside world. Other than reassurance, there isn't a whole lot you can do about it - it certainly isn't wise to suddenly change your whole persona to suit your husband - that isn't fair. Afterall, he fell in love with you in part because you were fun and easy to talk to - why should you stop being that person to stop his jealousy. No. Its a matter of being attentive and reminding him he is the one and only on a regular basis.
2007-10-17 10:43:35 · answer #4 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. okay. you started this wave of insecurity by sleeping with the ex only days before your own wedding. and it look as if you really never won his trust back. i'd be feeling funny too if i was your husband. and when you allow men to stand so close to you (if in fact that is all that is happening) it rears up old unresolved issues. you have got to stop allowing this to happen. both of you need to get to therapy.
i am a very friendly person by nature, but i have no problem telling a man i am not interested and i am happily married, if that still doesn't work...it's "fuq off".
2007-10-17 10:52:26 · answer #5 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband also snores. It drives me nuts. Mine works graveyards over half of the week, so Im usually only bothered by his snoring a few nights out of the week (the other nights the bed is all minbe hwile hes at work!). Usually I have to gently wake him and tell him he's snoring, and then he rolls over. Ive notived if he props himself up some with a pillow, he snors less. Also, if he lays on a certain side, he snores less. This is about the only advice I can give. Some nights are so much more worse than others. Ive had nights were im constantly waking him to get him to roll over... but. although i may not sleep the best, i like having him there with me, so i couldnt dream of having seperate rooms.
2016-05-23 05:03:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I would say he is normal. The incident with the boy friend before you got married sheds a little doubt on your committment to him - I think he is trying to protect his interest and you should commit to him and quit flirting or encouraging the other men to cast their attentions your way; they can be friendly without inviting you to bed. Your husbands values are a bit tighter than yours, so this may be a continual struggle.
2007-10-17 10:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by Doug R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband does sound insecure on some level, but you are not helping him overcome that. Some men need the reassurance that their feelings are unfounded.
You seem to enjoy the fact that he gets jealous and are creating more drama than would normally happen.
2007-10-17 10:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like his jealosly is grounded and he is being protective and not over protective. Deep down I think you are insecure and immature. After 18 years it is NOT bad timing. It is that you enjoy the attention and end up in that situation more often than you realize. When he walks in, YOU are mentally calling it "bad timing" so you can feel better about it.
2007-10-17 15:11:53 · answer #9 · answered by GK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You're a beeotch. If you're into wanting other guys like you seem to be, let him off the hook and hire him strippers for those times when you're away not loving him.
Or at the very least, pleasure him non-intercourse style every time you get home, so he's not thinking you're out gobbling up come, because I guarantee that's what he's thinking.
2007-10-17 10:40:14 · answer #10 · answered by lovinglifeina69 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He is normal, you obviously give him reasons to be jealous. I think you need to be more conscious of your behavior. Try putting yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you saw him with other girls? You said yourself you like the attention, so im sure you encourage other's behavior towards you. You need to watch it, because one day he might get sick of it and find someone else.
2007-10-17 10:38:24 · answer #11 · answered by California Kush 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋