How long did it take you to come to terms with your sexuality?

Question

Obviously, with most straight people not having to come to terms with their sexuality, this is aimed more at lesbians / gay people. How long did it take to you to come to terms with the fact that you are gay? i really cant come to terms with it and just throw myself into denial without realising. its like im having a battle with myself.

Answer 1

When I went through it, it seemed like forever. I knew what I was, but what did I want to do about it? I thought and waited and thought some more, then decided to do nothing about it until I got past high school. I just kept it to myself and concentrated on schoolwork and chores. It had 2 results. I got into a really good college on scholarship and I was pretty buff from chores. That summer after graduation I decided to just be myself and see what happens whenever I was out socially. I wound up hooking up with a lesbian in my situation the same age and we hung out that summer and got to ease into "gay scene". Of course it helped that I spent that summer at the beach.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Give yourself time and space. Don't rush into anything and don't think that being out means you have to have sex. It doesn't. And when you go through life remember you are struggling now but don't neglect your studies.

Answer 2

I don't know how I ever thought I was straight. There were so many signs. I would have major crushes on female teachers an other girls, but it felt completely normal. When I turned 15 I realised that this wasn't archetypal of a "straight" female. I looked at my boyfriend at the time and realised that me not wanting to kiss him was not out of shyness. I didn't really deny it because I have always been pro equality, but I certainly didn't act on it or tell anyone. I spent a long time TRYING and TRYING to figure out "what am I? Gay? Straight? Bisexual?" and recently I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. I can wait it out until everything makes sense.

Answer 3

i think that i have always been gay but it took me 12 years to come to terms with the fact that i probably was gay and then another 3 years for me to realise that i defiately was gay, although this was massively helped by me finally getting a gay (well bi-sex) mate.

Answer 4

It can vary widely from person to person, usually based on religious/philosophical upbringing.

There probably are books out there on the problems of coming out. If not, someone should do their masters' thesis or dissertation in gender studies and draw a book from it.

Answer 5

It happened slowly over a time period of about 3 year. I was raised in a small town had to get that old way of thinking out of my head before I accepted completely.

Answer 6

It took me fourteen years to figure anything out. Then when I was fifteen, I had a few different crushes on girls, so I sort of knew that I must be bi. I've never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, so I just go by who I have a crush on. That's why it was hard to figure anything out.
Yes, I've never been kissed. :(

Answer 7

Long time! it can take a long time for some...some struggle with it briefly and other are in denial all there lives.

If you are in denial then the battle will continue for ever.

Answer 8

A few years if one counts being a kid. But about 3 months in San Francisco once I was on my own.

Answer 9

"Obviously, with most straight people not having to come to terms with their sexuality"

You say "most" so I'd be interested in hearing about straight folks who HAVE had to come to terms with their sexuality, whatever that means.

Answer 10

I knew I was different when I was 7yrs. old. I started looking up 'homosexual' in the dictionary when I was 10, I came out of the closet when I was 14.... I'm now 37.