Is this the most important question of today?

Question

Now I know you don't like long questions, but this is very important - so stick with it, okay?

"Bugger!" shouted the princess as she pricked her finger and went to sleep for a 100 years.

Eventually Mr Handsome clogs along on his horse, sees this old house that's falling to pieces, kicks the door in, brushes a 100 years of cobwebs aside, sees princess and gives her one (a kiss, that is).

She wakes up, "Hello Darlin'" and ever after.

Question: What is it with this bloke that goes round kissing women aged 121?

She's been laying there since her 21st with nothing to eat - she must be all bones. But she must have had water. So where's all the pee?

Good grief, this 121 year old princess has been laying there for 100 years in her own pee, breath smelling, house falling down, and this bloke fancies her?

Aw, come on!
There must be a name for a geezer like that.

Probably Desperate!

Answer 1

Oh Slartibartfast - you need to spend more time on research and less on those fjords, magnificent though they may be.

Sleeping Beauty was, by means of the spindle, put into a state of suspended animation - cryogenics, but warmer, if you will. In this state, she didn't pee (DIRTY boy) or get older, but remained lovely as ever until....and here the story darkens, so those of a sensitive disposition, please look away...

Until....an unprincipled Prince chanced upon the fifteen year old Sleeping Beauty, thought "Ooh, nice bit of totty, and she can't run away!" and raped her. He hung around for a while, but she didn't wake up until she'd had twin daughters and one of them sucked her finger, thus removing the poisoned flax. Now, Prince was probably a bit pissed off that she wasn't going to be quite so compliant from then on, but not QUITE as pissed off as his wife, who, on finding out about his little friend in the enchanted castle, decided, as one does, to eat them all.

Fortunately, a kindly cook in the kitchen of the rather disturbed wife first presented her with a lamb in sauce when first twin was on the menu, followed by a goat for the second, and finally a hind in lieu of Wide Awake and Rather Worried Beauty - all of which satisfied the easily fooled (but we knew that) wife while Beauty and her girls had a little party in the kitchen. Evil wife finds out! And makes Bond-esque unnecessarily complicated plan - "HA! I'll get you, my pretties...by filling a large pit with poisonous snakes then throwing you all in! MWAHAHAHA" except, as tends to happen, the Prince arrives back from being valiant in some war or other, and (in yet another act of grand betrayal) chucks her in.

And the Murderous Rapist Paedophile Prince, his dumb bride and his two wary daughters lived happily ever after.

Pass the cocoa.

Answer 2

I guess what you mean is the number of people speaking those languages around the World. If you consider the number of native speakers, Chinese Mandarin is on the top of your list, and English only third. Pls refer to a very detailed article in Wikipedia (1) The best answer to your question maybe at (2): three languages are missing from your top ten list. A book published on this subject apparently received good reviews: The World's Major Languages by Bernard Comrie This is a vast domain, thank you for an interesting question: you made me learn a lot.

Answer 3

42

Answer 4

Grannypounder

Answer 5

As an activist in the campaign for real time, Slarty, you must realise all things are relative!

Answer 6

Bill Clinton.

Answer 7

I thought that she was in "suspended" animation? You have no way of knowing how long it has been since that guy last had ANY!!! Mister "hand" is getting kind of old!!!

Answer 8

yes his name is hugh heffner and hes about the same age a bit of viagra and you,ll kiss anything

Answer 9

Not most important but sounds a better story than the fairy tale....quite funny ; )

Answer 10

you're forgetting the single most important part of the story, the part of the story that holds up the entire plot.... it's MAGIC!