Why can I not see past my own failures, I allow my past to inhibit my life and to a sense control it?

Question

Why would I allow myself to be fooled? Or allow myself to be controlled by this destructive way of life?

Answer 1

This is common - but although you can never escape the past - it will always come back to haunt you. You can learn from it and make your future better. Write down a list of things you want in your future then go out and get them! Within reason! lol

Answer 2

You're nearsighted dude!!!

I can give you some glasses, but they are a ***** to put on.

Imagine you are a farmer out for a walk on your beautiful green fields of grass when you step in some bullshit. "Dear God" you think "How could I be fooled by this bullshit?"
Hey don't feel bad EVERYBODY steps in the bullshit.

The next day you are out for a walk and step in the SAME pile. OK, now you SHOULD feel like and idiot, because it's the same SH1T. You are NOT being controlled by your past; you are ignoring it, which is why you keep getting fooled by the same bullshit.

OK, fine. Not everyone is a quick learner. And I know you're used to signs that say otherwise, but seriously is it REALLY that hard to Keep ON the Grass?

Now you might think it would be nice if there were just grass. BUT, and this is where the bullshit gets deep, the grass is the SOURCE of bullshit, because it feeds the bulls that make the bullshit. And you can't get rid of the bulls 'cause without them there'd be no need for a farmer and YOU'RE THE FARMER.

Humans are problem solvers, which makes a flawed world perfect, because in a perfect world we would be worthless. You should wake up every morning and thank God for the grass, and the bulls, AND the bullshit.

Well, there you go. Things may be a bit fuzzy at first, but this prescription WILL cure nearsightedness. Good luck. Watch you step.

BTW. NEVER ask questions like "Why can I not see past my own failures?" Or "Why would I allow myself to be fooled?" Because your brain will just answer "Because you are an idiot." which may be true, but it's hardly helpful. QUESTIONS MATTER. For constructive answers ask "How do I see past this failure?" & "What have I learned that will make it harder to fool me?"

Answer 3

To attempt success is to risk failure. So perhaps subconsciously you dwell on your failures in order to prevent yourself from trying, and possibly failing, and then feeling even worse about yourself. Attempting to change your life by setting and eventually achieving goals is not easy. Any change in habits is difficult and along the road you will experience plenty of failure and plenty of success. I remember reading once that the most successful sales people in the world are the ones that have experienced the most rejections (been turned down the most often). But they are the most successful because they try more often than others, so they close the most deals. So whatever you want to achieve, make it a goal, don't dwell on the past, and persist until you reach your goal. But also, make sure your goal is realistic, and set small goals along the way so that you will often feel rewarded for your efforts.

Answer 4

I've read alot of the answers you have recieved and one thing stands out to me. I haven't seen anyone really refer to what you are actually feeling that has you so life-inhibited (and if I missed it, I apologize).

You are probably feeling guilt. Guilt that you were not good enough to succeed where you have failed, remorse that you cannot go back and change those things. and anxiety that you may, in fact, repeat any one of those mistakes in the future.

If you have come to the realization that you have been a victim of this pattern of thinking and behavior, at least your awareness is in tact. you need to reconstruct your mental framework in such a way that you can allow yourself the FREEDOM TO FAIL. If a lack of success is going to be your downfall then go out fighting and know that you did the best you could.

As Jesse Jackson might say, "If you're gonna fail, fail like Somebody"!

Answer 5

Carol Dweck, a Ph.D. in and professor of psychology at Stanford, who is having great good fortune helping major athletes, entertainers, and teachers work through a sense of just what you describe, has recently (2006) published a readable popular book of her ground-breaking method: "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success." Would suggest you might benefit

Would also note, along these lines, "Expecting Adam," by Martha Beck, Ph.D. who learned more about true success and overcoming than most people. A great book.

"Man, Master of His Destiny," by Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov, is also outstanding.

"The Path of Virtue," Jonathan Murro, is also practical, with essence of ethical teachings.

"Climb the Highest Mountain," Mark Prophet, also teaches about the error of excess self-condemnation, criticism, and judgment.

Good Fortune, and glad you care to champion your improvement and/or personal sense of victory,

Keep on keeping on,

j.

p.s. Http://www.coasttocoastam.com has some guests on who talk about such interests.

Answer 6

Reality mirrors the contents of consciousness, so you are right to consider this debilitating perspective as deadly serious.

To start with, you are NOT your thoughts, feelings or perceptions. YOU are the OBSERVER of them. Start with that understanding. You have described your conditioned ego identity. We all are programmed in this way depending on our early experiences and the defensive thought system we develop to survive. It has to be dealt with and all these embedded beliefs reframed, or the imprints will perpetuate these negative patterns of experiences for the rest of your life.

Follow some of the book suggestions above and start changing your mind, now!

Answer 7

Regard the course of your life as a learning experience - insure you take all positive results from your experiences and apply them to your future. You cannot change the present, you can only act now to change your future. Work on it!

Answer 8

Extreme pride or dejection indicates extreme ignorance of self.--Spinoza, Ethics, Part 4, Proposition 55.

Answer 9

I know what you mean...I feel the same way.

I like to listen to self help like anthony robbins, or read quotes of wisdom, or inspiring songs...they help me to look ahead, and help me battle the ghosts of my past with a never quit never say die attitude...

Just never give up the fight!! It may get worse before it gets better. And never say it can't get any worse either...when you do, it will!!

Answer 10

Apparently you chose to let it control you. Don't you know everyone in the world made mistakes in the past? Get over it. No one is perfect, including you. You definately will destroy yourself.