you and your spouse have separate religions?

Question

Before I married my husband I knew that he was an buddhist, but that never concerned since I,m a christian, so now we have been in an apartment for almost 3 years and it has the living room and dining room together, and now he wants to put an altar that has to do with his religion, and I told him no, so now hes like his religion is more important and if I ever move it then we are having an divorce, Im not asking him to choose all I was telling him that we will have 2 get a bigger place for him to have a separate room for that..and now I may be pregnant with our third child and a divorce is looming over us...please can someone give me some advice

Answer 1

Well, you knew he was Buddhist from the start. Sounds to me like you need to quit having kids and get a JOB so you can get a bigger place.

Answer 2

You both knew that each had separate belief systems before you were married. He must accept and respect your choice of religion and you must accept and respect his.

I'm quite familiar with the Buddhist alters in homes. Hindus also have in-home shrines. Those that I know who are Buddhist and the spouse another religion, place their alter in the bedroom. The alters do not have to be very large and there is need for it to take up much space. After you move to a larger living space, his alter can be afforded more space.

Answer 3

Marriage is about compromise and respect. As long as he isn't turning the whole house into a shrine, what's the problem with letting him set up a small altar? Do you have any crosses or pictures up in the house? Would you be upset if he said no, you couldn't have any emblems of your faith in the house?

Mutual respect is key in a relationship of mixed religions. I'm Pagan, my husband is Agnostic. When we lived in an apartment I had a small altar in our master bedroom, but I tried to make sure that my religious "stuff" didn't take over the whole house, out of respect for him. He, in return, didn't have a problem with me having an altar in the bedroom, out of respect for me.

Answer 4

If you both love each other and want to stay together then you will find a way to make it work. Someone needs to concede to the other in this case. Use to be that mixed races was a problem in marriage now it is different religions and it is such a difficult problem to overcome if both feel strongly about their religion and then of course their is the issue of what religion to raise the children.
Who feels more strongly about their religion, you or your husband? This isn't about who is right or wrong or about winning anything. This is about respect for each other and is it more important to be happy or to win?

Answer 5

I am Buddhist, and my SO is Daoist. Amazingly enough, it hasn't been an issue.

You want him to be tolerant and accepting of YOUR faith, please give him the same courtesy. You knew he was Buddhist when you met him. If he doesn't make a fuss about you having symbols of your faith on display in the house, you shouldn't mind an unostentatious altar. If it really bothers you, suggest he put it an a room other than the living area, but don't fuss about him having it.

I think this is a prime example of Christians NOT being Christlike - isn't love, tolerance, and acceptance your 'thing'?

Answer 6

What's wrong with having an altar? If this is what makes him happy - big deal. My husband's hobby is home theater, but our house isn't big enough to have a separate home theater room, so all this stuff is set up in the living room (projector, screen, speakers etc). Doesn't make for the prettiest living room, but it makes my husband happy. I keep pet rats - they're kind of smelly, and make lots of mess; our house isn't big enough to have a separate room for the rats, so the cage is set up in the master bedroom. My husband is cool with that, although he could care less about the rats.

Pick your battles - there will be more important issues in your marriage to argue about than making room for an altar.

Answer 7

Wow, you should have thought about all of this before you ever got married.

How are the children going to be raised would have been my biggest concern.

I would not want my small apt turned into a shrine. There is a place for everything and everything has it's place.

A living room/dinning room is not the place for that.

See if there is family members that can help you on this. Oh and Pray to Our Father for guidance.

Good luck

Answer 8

ALL of this are things you should have talked about BEFORE you got married. If you couldn't communicate prior to your marriage you should not have gotten married at all. Now, someone is going to have to sacrifice and be miserable or end the marriage.

Answer 9

You knew he was Buddhist before you married him and now you have to accept his practices. For your childrens's sake and your husband you must respect his religous practices.

You should never have married him and had children with him if you were not going to respect his religion.

Good Luck

Answer 10

If you were a COMMITTED Christian you would know that God says VERY CLEARLY that we are NOT to be "unequally yoked together" with unbelievers. Buddhists DO NOT qualify as believers.

This is why.

What exactly did you think you were going to teach your children about God??????

If your relationship with God is important to you, then I suggest you refuse to allow him to put an altar to a FALSE god in your house, even if it's in it's own room. If he insists, I'd get a divorce before I would bring up children in a house where someone is worshipping a false god.

Again, what do you tell your children? That neither belief system is real ??? (they DO contradict one another, you know).