So, I'm going through a divorce right now. Me and my husband were best friends for 5 years before we ever dated and we ended up getting married about 8 months after our relationship started. We fought quite a bit but I thought that was normal, and to me the good times were better than the bad ones. Anyway, we were struggling with finances so I moved away for what I thought was going to be a year (with visiting every few months of course) to work for my grandpa and save money for us. Well, the night before I left I got pregnant. I moved here and he was so sad and missed me so much and told me how much he loved me. Then I found out about my pregnancy and he was genuinely happy about it and couldn't wait for me to move back. Then his best friend moves in with him and I start hearing from him a lot less...and he starts hanging around another girl all the time...and then he asks me to have an abortion...then he wants a divorce. He became the meanest guy I have ever met basically over night.
2007-10-17 09:47:37 · 8 answers · asked by Mommy2Alexei 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My question is, why did he all of a sudden, out of the blue, start treating me bad and want a divorce?
2007-10-17 09:48:44 · update #1
I doubt this is what he even wanted in the beginning....For him to decide automatically that he wants no part of you and his unborn child is disgusting...He needs to grow up and take responsibilities....Either way you need to focus on yourself and what you are going to do because obviously it does not look like he is going to work things out with you....As much as it may hurt you are much better off without him because a man who sacarifices his family is no man at ALL......I wish you all the best***
2007-10-17 11:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your relationship took a little turn not for the better right after you got married. Perhaps after a five year friendship your husband felt obligated to follow through with marriage when his heart wasn't really in it. This might be why you started fighting after you got married.
Then you have financial problems, which can test the best of marriages. You decide to move away for a year or so to make money working for your grandfather, visiting him every few months. First, if he loved you he would never have agreed to your moving away. Second, what did you expect him to do in between those visits "every few months"? Now to make a bad situation even worse, you find out your pregnant. Sounds like the very last thing you two needed. You tell him, thinking he's going to be happy. He tells you he's happy, because, just like getting married, he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but the truth is probably that he is extremely unhappy about the prospect of now having an additional obligation. Now enter the friend, who moves in with him. Your husband confides in this friend, tells him the whole story, and the friend encourages him to end the relationship with you and go out and meet other people. Your husband takes the advice, but does it in a little bit of a reversed order. He goes out and finds another girl he's interested in first. This gives him added incentive to finally tell you the truth. He wants out. He knows what a rotten thing he's doing and his defense mechanism is to treat you like it's all your fault and so he's mean to you. Otherwise he has to deal with the reality that it's his fault and he's just a big, immature jerk. Being mean to you is much easier.
My advice to you is to get out, divorce him, and go on with your life. As for the child, I would not even consider an abortion. You should have this child, as it will love you and you will return the love. You will also have a basis to get your ex husband for child support for the next 18 years, which will provide some spec of pleasure.
You will find a better man out there somewhere. When you do he will love your child as his own. If you choose to abort this child, that may come back to haunt you in some very unpleasant ways.
2007-10-17 10:16:05 · answer #2 · answered by nevit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like someone else was occupying your space while you were gone. Eventually he started enjoying this other persons time more than he valued the relationship. You said you left to make money for both of you. If he didn't appreciate that, then you're better off without him!
2007-10-17 09:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by Redbutter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mommy 2al, Sounds like he began feeling free of all responsibilities and the devil got in and stole his soul ! There is nothing you can do but make sure he is financialy accountable for the birth of your child and the next 18 years !
2007-10-17 10:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he got distracted by another girl, and you're too far away; the other girl is much more real.
2007-10-17 09:52:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't abort the baby...be patient with him. he simply wants to be carefree, no obligations, no responsibilities. hope that when u give birth, he'll realize he has become a father and will go back to u.
2007-10-17 09:58:50 · answer #6 · answered by dani l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are so naive, to put it bluntly you're yesterday's flavor...I wish you luck
2007-10-17 09:54:43 · answer #7 · answered by Dillon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
duh!!!! because a new chick entered the picture
2007-10-17 10:00:22 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋