Confused, he says i dont care, he says i put others before us? help me please?

Question

I MEET THIS GUY A YEAR AGO WE TALKED FOR A WHILE BUT HE LIVES ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY, AND WE TRIED TO MAKE THINGS WORK OUT SO WE COULD BE TOGETHER BUT THINGS ALWAYS CAME UP ON MY END WHEN I WAS SUPPOSE TO GO. SEE HIM.AND THATS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS WE STOPED TALKING.HE SAID I NEVER MADE TIME FOR HIM AND THAT I ALWAYS PUT OTHERES BEFORE US. RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE FOR THE LAST 1YR AND A HALF. LIFES BEEN REALLY HARD. MY DADS SICK, I AM HELPING MY PARENTS RAISE MY TWO NEPHEWS AND MY NEICE.AND ITS HARD TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO NOW A DAYS. AND I AM WORKING FULLTIME AND ITS NOT THAT EASY TO JUST GET UP AND LEAVE ON THE WEEKENDS . AND EXPECTS SO MUCH FROM JUST LIKE MY FAMILY DOES. I GET SO STRESSED OUT. WERE TALKING AGIAN AND I WANT TO TRY TO MAKE IT WORK . HE WANTS ME TP DROP EVERYTHING AND I KNOW I CANT. WHAT DO I DO. I TRY MY BEST TO PLEASE EVERYONE BUT ITS SO HARD I AM ONLY ONE PERSON ... SOME ONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAK DOWN AND I M JUST 20

ok he does try to come see me but my family dont like him hes older then me thats why hes 26 im 20

Answer 1

Woah! Calm down, darlin! It will all be okay. I can understand how stressful it is to have imporant family commitments in your life, and you are doing a great job helping your family--especially when your Dad is sick!

If your boyfriend can't understand a commitment that is so important to the well being of your family and you, then he isn't a guy you want in your life anyway! Think about it.. Does he even try to help with the problems you have? He doesn't ever step in and offer to help baby sit your nephews and niece, does he?

It's okay to break up with him. You don't need a man to make you happy in your life. There is so much more to be thankful for than having a male crutch to lean on, right?

We are female! Hear us roar! We are independent!

Take a deep breath, and relax. You are doing a great job.

The best of luck to you, sister.

Answer 2

Life is short spend time with your family if he wants to be with you he'll understand. It seems hes being selfish right now God forbid if the roles were reversed and he was in your shoes, and he needed someone there for him. Find time to just clear your head at least a moment or two out the day. Try praying whenever you use the restroom. It works.!! Prayer changes a lot. I find that to be my way to relieve stress and clear my mind. most of the time its like a short little get away. Its quiet, and no one can just barge in on you.

Answer 3

you sound like a very good person and it seems he cant understand the situation your in i know cause i've been there and done that although you cant be expected to take care of everybody all your life you and he are so young today 11/2 hrs is no big deal invite him to stay for a day or something there must be a way after i got a big d my kids and my mother being sick and needing me was #1 if someone couldn't get that by by good luck hope it works for ya hang in there with the other stuff you should feel really really proud of yourself for what your doin

Answer 4

is that that's new project, or did you know that he replaced into like this till now you married him and had little ones with him? once you have been engaged, did he take you around his mom and sister? Have the youngsters frolicked along with his relatives in the previous? If that's the way its consistently been, then now's no longer the time to start complaining. that's an argument that ought to have been dealt with till now you made little ones with this guy. If its a incredibly new factor, seem lower back and notice in case you are able to decide while all of it started. Did you and his mom have a disagreement, or did your little ones and his cousins no longer get alongside? you're able to p.c. out the underlying difficulty, or you will never be waiting to repair issues. or maybe inspite of the indisputable fact that counseling is a solid thought, if he has made his strategies up -- as he says he has -- then counseling would possibly no longer do any solid. you need to tell him that his no longer protecting up his end of the best purchase on your marriage. If he desires to maintain issues separate, than he desires to start paying his charges and you pay yours. grant for your self and your little ones, and allow him fend for himself.

Answer 5

You are doing the right thing by giving priority to your family at a time when they are in great difficulty. You are an exemplary daughter and I'm certain your parents are very proud of you.

Please don't abandon them for a selfish guy. If he loves you then he should be man enough to help you instead of making more demands from you. He is being very selfish and unkind to you.

Sorry to say this but a guy who can not understand and be supportive during a difficult time.. is unworthy of your love.

Answer 6

Okay, Honey, I can't help in through ready all this, ask myself what about you??? You're not being selfish, nor are you putting anyone on the back burner here. What I see is an over worked 20 year old female that clearly doesn't need to take on so much @ one time. You have siply forgotten about you in the mist of all this stress and confusion. I understand that your father is ill, and yes you should be by his side for the comfort, (that's not a 24/7 requirement) not to aid in his quick recovery. I understand that you're helping mom raise kids that are not yours. Not only is this not your job, but did you partake in the decision on raising them? This is clearly not your role. This is the responibility of the ones who made this choice. You need to enjoy life, do the things that 20 year olds do. I don't feel that it is fair that anyone expect you to put you life on hold to help raise children that are not yours, or to nurse your ill father. I think it is selfish. I think you may tend to wear your heart on your sleeve for the taking. I say take it back! And this "so called friend" needs to be more understanding, (empathetic) on what you are going through. A friend should not be so demanding, but understanding, is what I live by. Him demanding so much of your time, yet you are the one that travels to visit him??? What??? I say go on strike girl. Put the heart where it belongs, safe in your chest. Tell your mom & pop that you love them, but that you need to move forward in your life. That raising the children, and all are becoing more than you had antissapated. You need to do for yourself, not to say that you wouldn't come around now and again to lend a helping hand, but that you need to lighten your load, and do something for you, for a change. Tell your friend come see me sometime, but for a couple of weeks I need to spend some time finding myself, and what I really want out of this life. Not what this life wants out of me!! Because that is what is clearly happening. Take it back, take a deep breath, raise your head to the sky and move forward into descovering yourself!! Good luck to you! :)

Answer 7

You are just 20, so I need to teach you something that you will learn eventually. You need to know that you cannot please everyone and you should not even try. It is stressing you out.I am 65, so I have learned this lesson. Stop trying to please everyone else and please yourself. Now, that does not mean to be selfish, but just to put a limit on what you do for others. When you have given all you can, learn to say NO in a loud voice. I have no patience with people who waste my time. Your boyfriend sounds like that kind to me. Let each other off the hook, please.You will both be happier for it.

Answer 8

have you not explained all this to him. if not do so right away. also try and make time for yourself. come what may. if your boyfriend does not help you after you have explained. then it time to reconsider being in a relationship with him. remember study yourself first. good luck.

Answer 9

I don't know where you live, but where I come from it's against the law to have a nervous breakdown before the age of twenty one!!
Sounds like your making your own choices. Sounds like you want to be busy! All work and no play.........................

Answer 10

Why cant he come see YOU? I would tell him that its a relationship that works on both ends, not just you having to go to his house. Dump his butt and find someone that actually makes an effort to come see you and do find some time for yourself, you deserve it!