He had an affair 2 months ago, but yet he has said for a few years now he doesn"t like having sex. I am trying so many things to make this sex life spiced up but I can't get a romantic night out of him. We have been together for 6 years now and have 3 kids. I love sex but have to say he in not good at it at all. Shall we say 2 min man and never longer nor any forplay. What should I do? I'm trying really hard to make this marriage work after the affair but with this sex issue I'm finally facing it, I don't know if I want him any more. We have been trying a drug to make it last longer but come on it helps maybe for 1 min more.
Oh he is trying to make this work some what too, but I know there is better out there for me but I don't really know if I want to go find it.
2007-10-17 08:40:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From a man's point of view if you want to have sex and he doesn't then he's not a real man.
You being more attractive isn't the answer. Plenty of beautiful women get cheated on.
He's not in control of his lusts. I think you deserve better. It is worth saving your marriage though especially when children are involved. But if he isn't going to work to make things right (and he needs to bear most of the responsibility) then you may need to leave him.
Open communication is parimont. His affair is not your fault. He's the one that needs to change, not you. Saving your marriage is worth the effort but when it comes to adultry or abuse, the line needs to be drawn.
2007-10-17 09:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men don't not like sex. Being that said, he probably feels this way towards you because he knows he's not pleasing you. This crushes a man's pride, and that's why he probably had the affair - to boost up his ego and be with a woman who wouldn't complain. Now, that's not an excuse for the affair, but it is a realistic reason why alot of people have affairs. While you may not like his sex, alot of your problems in this area have to do with how you're handling it. If you are nagging, sex will continue to be short and will continue to be a chore for him. A chore he doesn't want to do. Please consider counseling before cheating. It's only right. Cheating never has good outcomes.
2007-10-17 16:13:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why it takes men so long to figure out that even sex takes and education to learn. I learned from reading mostly and not practice with other women.
John Grays book Men are from Mars women form Venus in the bedroom is good.
The whole idea of sex is only fun when you learn to please the other person. My wife of 35 years did nothing new and we had sex twice a month and boring.
I am married to a women who had two husbands just like yours and thought sex was laying on her back bored for two minutes.
Now we have sex usually everyday in the morning if possible.
we take time and she has average 4 orgasms per section.
We last as long as we want because that is a skill a man needs to learn.
Let him know he is crap in bed and needs to pass the test because you will not except a failing grade.
There is help out there... make him get it or else.
2007-10-17 15:49:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance if he is trying but if not then leave. Just remember if he is a good person he cares about you and your kids. I am not saying he great but he sorry for what he did and he is trying to rectify everything sex is not the only thing in the world.
2007-10-17 15:56:40 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to hurt your feelings but it is possible he isn't sexually attracted to you specifically and that's why he says he doesn't like sex. And it doesn't mean it has anything to do with your looks, but if you have a stressful relationship it can affect how sexually attracted people are to eachother.
No matter what, the point is, he cheated on you and that's not fair to you. Do you really want to be with someone who disrespects you in that way?
2007-10-17 15:48:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are the one who needs the affair... What happened to loving someone for who they are? If you have both tried and nothing is working, and it is frustrating for you, then you may as well get a divorce and find someone who can rock your world... IOr maybe he just doesn't want sex with you. Maybe he is a rock star with someone else, and you're turning him off, which is why he wants to get it over with. that would explain the "no foreplay". because all guys like that.
2007-10-17 15:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by engineer46526 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree, he likes sex but right now he does not like it with you.
Does he come home and you tell him all about your three kids, and household stuff. Maybe he needed more romance with someone that had not had three kids.
You need to both get some counseling.
Good Luck
2007-10-17 15:47:54 · answer #7 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The truth hurts... sounds like he's got issues at home and not elsewhere... Seems like its human nature to want something you aren't supposed to have opposed to something you can have at any given time.... make sense?
2007-10-17 15:59:03 · answer #8 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon he cheated you cant tell me he doesnt like to drive it he just bored with you is all SORRY TO HAVE TO BREAK IT TO YOU but i would kick his *** to the curb if he isnt lasting but 3 mins he likes it just fine maybe a little too exciting dont you think
2007-10-17 15:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by the_orc_1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not the sort of question I would expect from a MILF.
2007-10-17 15:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋